Talon's Humor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNl9RqjLCwc Like they said in Tropic Thunder, never go full retard... This young man however really suffers from Down Syndrome and it's endearing to see him get an acting job like that, it warms my heart!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm gonna watch this later and maybe a review, please keep this torrent alive... Also, I might sometimes post recipes for delicious treats or meals and like these things the'll be so sparse and in between that I do not see the need at this time to start a second blog. https://1337x.to/torrent/4089691/The-Peanut-Butter-Falcon-2019-DVDRip-XviD-AC3-EVO-EtMovies/ (Ain't that motherfucking brilliant, on closer inspection, this actor might actually be not really retarded and suffering from down syndrome...)

[Announcer] Ever seen a man beat up a female midget to the point of near death? Well now you can, this male to female trans person now also identifies as a midget and has signed up for the female midget battle royale where 10 female midgets enter a cage an bout it out till there is only one winner... Next week at friday on Channel One at eleven o' clock in the eveing, don't miss it!!! [Disclaimer] Please be advised to user viewr discretion, but seriously, don't miss it!!!

[Announcer] This Saturday, save the date, do not go out to dinner, don't talk to your family... Yes, yes you're thinking what I'm thinking, throw away everything else and sit in front of the TV at twenty hundred hours, because it's the yearly event we have all been waiting for. 30 Comedians, One hour, containing the most offensive jokes in history. This years host of MCB Mega Comedy Blast will be our channels favorite host, Talon. [Talon] Hi, I'm Talon and this year I will be hosting MGC, and I promise you it will be the most offensive event in history... [Announcer] This saturday at eight, don't miss it!!! (When the Olympics happened I wasn't able to come online so I had to forfeit that effort, fingers crossed!!)

Nazi Salute, Nazi Salute??? Don't you mean Ave Caesar??? You call that a peace sign, that's not Peace, it means V for Victory you dimwit... And the Swastika, don't even get me started about the swastika, it's a sun symbol symbolizing good luck... What, does a 6 year war with a mustached dictator dictate the rest of human history? Maybe you should get an IQ checkup or something, because now I have realized that society is in fact retarded and you all are in dire need of help!!! (Or at least some addon to your current level of education and I hope I can provide that.)

Stel je eens voor jongeman en nogmaals welkom! Hoi, ik ben Tjooky en kom uit mongolië... Dus je bent een mongool? Waarom ben je niet met de speciale bus gekomen? Zijn je veters gestrikt? Sorry, wellicht verstond je me niet, praatte ik te snel? In the Dutch language we use the word "Mongool" to describe someone who suffers from Down Syndrome. You see, Mongool refers to Mongolia where the people have semi asian eyes. Mongool is a derogatory term for both Mongolians and people who suffer from Down Syndrome. I'm being confronting in this matter because the term Mongool is totally unethical, both to the Mongolians and people who suffer from Down Syndrome!!! Here's the first bit in English... Why don't you introduce yourself youngman and again welcome to our school. Hi, I'm Tjooky and I come from the country of Mongolia... So you're a retard? Didn't you come with the special school bus? Are your laces tied? Sorry, perhaps you did not understand me, was I...

Comment kwam niet door op Youtube, oké, dan maar hier... Pappa waarom mag ik geen kankerjood zeggen terwijl zij ons uitmaken voor goyim, en pappa, waarom mag ik moslims geen duivels noemen terwijl zij ons uit maken voor duivels en dat geld ook voor de negers in africa. Ben ik automatisch slecht pappa omdat ik blank ben? Ik maak geen ruzie op school, doe netjes mijn huiswerk en ben altijd op tijd beneden voor ontbijt lunch en avondeten. Ik heb nog nooit iemand geslagen en ben altijd vriendelijk tegen de mensen om  mij heen. Pappa, alsjeblieft beantwoord mijn vragen want ik wil niet als goyim of duivel te worden gezien, ik ben een lief jongetje en mamma zegt dat ik een hart van goud heb... (Goyim betekent menselijk vee)

[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, here's your host!1 [Maxis Jaxxon] Mothers always complain and use the term Small Children... Here's a Expert Psychiatrist. [EP] Perhaps, and this is pure speculation, perhaps these women are mentally retarded. I mean, aren't all children small, then why add small to the word children. It's to influence your emotions regarding the subject. It's only one word, but it changes the view we have of the subject. Dumb people say that size does matter, then why aren't they married to the Michelin Puppet or a human equivalent?? Of course every female wants a man with a long penis, wanna know why... The more blood in the penis, the less blood in the brains... Women won't admit this, but most of em want us retarded as we can get... Women who say that size matters want to satanically control us through sex... [Maxis Jaxxon] A very interesting point of view, we will be back after the commercials...

You fucked up ass motherfucking asslicking buttfucking nigga... hey, I take offense to the up part, do you really think you can get away with saying the word up you motherucking white ass milky buttery ass motherfucker? What, you mentally retarded excuse for burnt toast have a problem with this??? Yeah I do, you wanna know why? Not really! Well, it's not like you own your own studio you yoghurt ass motherfucker... Shut up you charcoal ass looking motherfucker, didn't your mommy teach you any manners? Well, yes, but I won't need them amongst Chalky Tipex Beige Ass Motherfuckers... If this bit was too racist for your white or black ass, please call 1-800-IDONTCARE... Dear reader, your input means the world to me, if you see anything more racist than this,please contact me immediately!! BONUS: [Announcer] At first I was blind as a bat, but now thanks to Nigga Optics I'm finally able to see my family members... Call 1-800-NIGGAOPTICS for a brochure!! ;For those who ...

[Announcer] Today we have as a guest a professor on the frontier of Cuntology... [Professor] Yes, thank you for having me and might I add the fact that you smell nice. It was only 8 years ago when I entered the field of Cuntology, and since then many advances have been made within the field. I can remember like yesterday that a cunt was just a cunt, but things have become more complex as the years passed. Today a cunt is something very complex and hard to understand, now I agree that Cuntology had a part in this, but we must not lose sight of the constant evolution of society and thus Cuntology...

[Announcer] Tonight's premiere movie will be a story about a mentally retarded boy who has sex with apple pies. American Shy, tonight on Channel One... [Soundbite] "Boy, I know you're ugly but that's no reason to rape the apple pie your mom baked, I mean grandma is visiting tomorrow. I mean seriously, do you want your grandmother to swallow your cum???" [Disclaimer] Unlike the demographic of the producers, writers and actors in this movie most of us have foreskin and saliva, so don't feel guilty or embarrased when you're confronted with a very unfunny lotion joke!!! And seriously, what's with the socks??? The depiction of sexual frustration does not constitute humor... Mommy, mommy, why can't I jerk off like the normal kids... Well, do you remember the time you contracted herpes? No mom, I was too young to remember... Well, this Rabbi cut off a piece of your penis and then proceeded to suck your penis and that is the moment you contracted herpes......

I don't know if I can do a lot of work today, even though I haven't asked, I'm simply depressed and devastated by the fact that Chris Tucker does not want to do the voice of Adolph Hitler... Please be understanding and give me some time to process all of this...

If you American SJW motherfucking cunts hate Cultural Appropriation so much, then why the fuck order American produced FRENCH FRIES at a restaurant??? Seriously, somebody from the US explain it to me please!!! And don't get me started about Pizza's... Seriously produce your own thickness of potatoe fries and call them Patriot Fries!

[Announcer] We all know the term stereoscopic, but we at Insane Labs & Co have developped something new, Surroundscopic!!, These glasses will give you a field of view of one hundred and eighty degrees... No more looking behind over your soldiers... [Soundbite] Sir, do you have eyes in your neck? Yes, thanks to Surroundscopics!! [Asian Ad Man] Order Now for only 2.999 Moneys, call 1-800-IWANTTOSEE or visit www.fookyoo.local, Fook Yoo!! Fook Me? No Fook Yoo!! ( Dear reader, I have very very sad news, I haven't asked him yet, but Chris Tucker has rejected my offer to voice Dee Troit a.k.a. Adolph Hitler... This has saddened me and I will need a few days to cope and recuperate!)

[Maxis Jaxxon] Today when I drove to work a pigeon shat on my window, and I was like okay... But then five minutes later a seagul shat on my window which impaired my view on the road. I put on the windshield wipers and the poop was smeared all over my front window... I had the lab do a research analogy and the following turned up. The poo turned out to be greasy. You see people, that's what happens when birds eat french fries all day long. And who's fault it that? Well, everyone who visits fast food restaurants and spill their fries onto the floor... Where was I going with this, seriously, where am I going with this? Oh yeah, you see the greased up shit is the bullshit the government feeds you, and the work of the windshield wiper represents the teachers in school that disperse and share the knowledge. The driver, that is you, is the slave and the government at the same time... You see, if you let go of the wheel, you'll crash. The direction indicators has no significant me...

♫ What now starts is the Newsaholic, I heard the writer is an Alcaholic, The sky is blue, what does the news mean to you? Do you really care what's going on in the world today, or do you just want to fire up a GameStation and play? Do you really care what happens to the sheeple, or do you actually love the people? Now lets just enjoy this show to your hearts content, if you don't like it get bent!! [Rupert] Caitlyn, Cait, Cait... Did you know that the pumpkin you carved will come alive during Halloween Night and will try to eat you??? *Caitlyn runs to parents room and opens the door* [Caitlyn] MARK, JACK, Mom's being murdered by dad... He's the Vampire, he's the vampire from the News!!! [Geffrey] Now calm down that's just strawberry sauce and didn't we tell you not to enter our bedroom after eleven o clock??? [Jack] Oh great, another trauma I can add to my youth, thanks a lot Cait... [Cait] Sorry, I walked in, mommy was screaming and she was covered in red...

Hi, I'm blind and looking for some self defense items! Hello dear customer, can I offer you the sawed off shotgun? Yes, yes it's all in house, we order regular shotguns and then saw off 75% of the barrel... How does that help me? Well, when you hear a noise, point in the general direction and pull the trigger, that should do the job. But what if it's my wife making the noise? What the hell, you're blind and your wife makes noise? Yeah well pretty much, the worst part is, she only screams outside the bedroom. And I'm like honey I'm blind not fucking deaf, you know... No I don't know, this is all new to me. I mean, when do you make a conversation with a blind guy in life... It's not like you can walk up to them and ask, hey blindy, how's it going, see much lately? Seen anything of interest... Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... THe one eyed man is king... What does the color blue mean to you? Or red or orange for that matter. Do you even understand...

[Announcer] Welome to News Tonight, here's your top host!!! [Talon] Hi, welcome to tonights show dear viewer. Are your doors and windows locked down? Good, because there's something strange and haunting going on in our town. There are even those who whisper of the arrival of an actual vampire. Now calm down you at home, these are just rumors. Hey, why are the lights going out, is this it? [Cameraman] Sorry, I bumped into the light switch. [Talon] Continueing, Chaniqua is on the scene as always and I'm hoping to get some substancial information from her. Chaniqua, Chaniqua, where are you? *lights at scene turn on* [Chaniqua] Hah, hah, it's because I'm black isn't it? [Talon] Not this time, I couldn't even see the white guy behind you and he has this prodent smile. Anyway, give us an update on the vampire story. [Chaniqua] Well, no one has actually seen a vampire, but look at this! [Talon] Poop? [Chaniqua] To be more specific, Guam. Bat poop. [Talon] What is G...

What do you call a store who's cameras aren't equipped with nigga optics? A lootbox! [Marjory] Rupert, how can you say such a thing, that's racist and offensive... [Rupert] I'm sorry Marjory, but it had to be said... But I do have one thing to add, why did the looters leave all the black sneakers behind and only went for the white sneakers? That's because you can see dirt on white sneakers more easily and we all know these people like to get offended... [Marjory] Like to, or are? [Rupert] Both! If this was too offensive for you, please call 1-800-IDONTCARE right now and receive 15% off of your next telephone bill, because we all know you like to whine endlessly... [Disclaimer Voice] Hi dear viewer, every expression and opinion made by this company does not reflect the company. Edit/Addon/Etc Lootboxes should be renamed, I mean gamers nowadays act like a bunch of cheap whores. Lootboxes should be called Pimpbribes instead you know, to reflect it's actual ef...

[Announcer] Welcome to Disturbed Animals, here's your host!! [Top Host] Hello and another welcome to Disburbed Animals. Today we have a story for you, you see Farmer Sam has had trouble with wolves. Yes people, actual wolves, and not just any ordinary wolves. You see, these wolves are mentally deranged and senile. It's a group of elderly wolves who lost the capability to reproduce and are at the end of their lifespan. They spent all night taking down the fence, ate the one gay chicken which identified itself as non binary and then fled when the sun broke through the horizon. I never will forget that look on the non binary wolf's face as it went from one to zero. [Top Host] There you have it people, you can claim to be non binary all day but when your one gets turned into a zero it's all over. Next up after the commercials a hybrid between a koala and a chipmunk. Wait till you hear the sounds it makes...

Seriously, Black Lives Matter, hey yo he white beat his ass... BLM is the most racist movement ever and makes me wanna shoot down black people... This is no joke, see the blacks are rounding up us whites as if we are the devil, while they're looting shoe stores for nikes and putting buildings on fire... Proud to be black? WHat, can you take pride in beating up a mentally challenged white boy and scalping his head on facebook with almost no media coverage... You see, they love white on black crime... But when these fucking fucked up ass niggá's started scalping a mentally challenged white boy they went all silent... Yeah, you, yeah you nigga's, why didn't you speak up about this. I know you love to speak up, cuz you be rippin on my race for decades... so to return the favor... shut the fuck up you fucked up ass nigga's, nearly beating a mentally challenged boy to death for supporting Trump. Add that to your so called Black Pride...

[Some Unknown Scientist] You see human kind has evolved beyond the presephis of basic instincts and has developped the mental acruity to distinguish showing teeth as a sign of agression from showing teeth while laughing giving off a more optimistic vibration. You see, when you see someone showing their teeth while laughing you get all positive inside. Animals do not recognize this, well maybe dogs do, but most animals don't. Whether you're laughing or not, when you show your teeth to an animal that still remains a sign of agression. Addendum: Besides some animals, most only have their teeth, showing your teeth is like showing a fully loaded 9mm pistol. .. Think about that the next time you show your Prodent smile!!! (This one was more educational than funny...)

*ZAP* ...You fucking whore... First of all, I wasn't fucking and I'm not a whore, second of all your hamster died of natural causes... You mean that flat thing with blood around it died of natural causes??? Well sort of, I kinda stepped on it... I know, but did you have to throw him on the compost heap? Well it seemed it was the least I could do... The least you could do, what kind of monster are you? THe kind that believes in recycling? *ZAP* [Rupert] Didn't day time TV used to be innocent? ...up next, question of the day. Have you ever slapped a woman in her face solely because she had an annoying voice?... [Rupert] This is too easy, Yes... [Caitlyn] That's offensive Rupert, you should be ashamed... [Rupert] I should, but weirdly enough I'm not... I'm also writing a new episode, but probably this one will be filled with TV bits...  )

Adolph Hitlers latest hit... [Chorus] You can't touch this You can't touch this You can't touch this You can't touch this [Verse 1] My, my, my my music hits me so hard Makes me say, "Oh my Lord" Thank you for blessin' me With a mind to rhyme and two hype feet It feels good, when you know you're down A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown And I'm known as such And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch [Chorus] I told you homeboy (You can't touch this) Yeah, that's how we livin' and ya know (You can't touch this) Look in my eyes, man (You can't touch this) Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics (You can't touch this) [Verse 2] Fresh new kicks, and pants You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance So move outta yo seat And get a fly bitch and catch this beat While it's rollin', hold on! Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's goin' on Like that, like that Cold on a mission, s...

Everyone in the US is like #FreeHongKong and we hate Blizzard, I'm like don't forget Kai!!

Hi, I'm Rupert, I'm a 17 year old cat that can talk. Much about me remains a mystery though. Hey there, I'm Cait. Use your full name please. Hi I'm Caitlyn, I'm twelve years old and still learning about life. Hi, I'm Jack, I'm 14 and if you tell my parents I smoked a cigarette in school I'll beat you up. Hey there viewer, listener or reader. I'm Mark and I will PWN you in gaming, just a heads up, this is not a threat, merely a statement that is aligned with reality. There he goes again acting like gaming prestige gives you street credit. This is Geffrey the father of the family, if you are hearing this I cannot come to the phone at this moment, but leave a message and I'll get right back to you. Yes this is Marjory, Geffrey did you forget to take out the trash? Yo man this is Adolph, I'm Dee Troit from Dee Troit Records. Why Adolph Hitler you ask? Well, cuz Grunbau would be too extreme... We all live in a cozy little neighbourhood, you're...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Today a mansion exploded without any cause, scientists are on the scene doing research. Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Hi Talon, I'm standing here with a bunch of weird grey haired old men wearing white overalls claiming to be scientists. [Talon] Chaniqua, I hate to break it to you, but scientists are mostly weird grey haired old men wearing white overalls. [Chaniqua] Seriously, well that's news to me, according to popular TV shows they're hot young hunks solving crimes. Anyway I'm standing here with a scientist and he has the following to say. [Scientist] Uhh... [Talon] Well there you have it people, uhh... See you back after the commercials where we will delve into the live of a dyslectic parrot with parkinsons disease...

North Korea loves Microwaves, Kim Jung Il loves them the same as he loves his women... Irradiated and poor of nutrients!!!

PS, could you get some milk... PS, PS, PS??!! Did you just call me a Pornographic Slut, and what the hell, get some milk, are you referring to my breasts??? See, that is why I do not talk to or leave notes to lesbians...

[Announcer] Welcome to Special Documentary Inside Acces featuring Iglesias Morrato. [Iglesias Morrato] This week a special programming for people with ADHD. The relaxing hour with Iglesias Morrato hosted on SDIA, he hosts Bizarro Zone, but this time he is very very relaxed. Iglesias? Yes, this is Iglesias here at your service! [Announcer] My service? I hope the viewers service! [Iglesias Morrato] Yes, yes, something like that. You see what I found here, I thought it was a vase, but it turned out to be a bong. [Announcer] A bong??? [Iglesias Morrato] Si senior, a bong, I filled it with weed and I am consuming as we speak. [Announcer] Consuming as we speak? You need a new dayjob. [Iglesias Morrato] No no sir, this show is not going to be canceled. See this smoke, pure fiction... [Announcer] Why is that? I mean, I finally get to host somewhat a show of my own. [Iglesias Morrato] You see, I bribed the judge! [Announcer] Bribed the judge? [Iglesias Morrato] Si, I mean yes, I gave him a few ...

0 out of 10 Pewdiepie viewers who saw the video about needing a super high IQ to watch Rick and Morty realised that Universe C-137 stands for Universe Caesium 137. Which means 10 out of 10 people who watch Pewdiepie and Rick and Morty are mentally retared!!! [Disclaimer] If you were offended by this, please call 1-800-IDONTCARE and if the lines are too busy call 1-800-WEDONTCARE instead...

♫ Death, exciting and new Come aboard, were expecting you Death, lifes sweetest reward Let it flow, it floats back to you Death Boat soon will be making another run The Death Boat promises something for everyone Set a course for adventure Your mind on a new romance Death won't hurt anymore Its an open smile on a friendly shore Yes Death... Its Death... Death Boat soon will be making another run The Death Boat promises something for everyone Set a course for adventure Your mind on a new romance Death won't hurt anymore Its an open smile on a friendly shore Its Death... Its Death... Its Death... Its the Death Boat Its the Death Boat ♪

When I present something without commentary it borders on the insane and then crosses that border, hope you enjoy! (Episode one was Babysitter Confusion) Don't push the button, Don't push the button, Don't push the button, Great you pushed the button. You know what happens now, exactly, nothing because that button was a fake. This proves I cannot even trust you with a fake button, let alone a real button that might or might not switch the lights on and off. You're so untrustworthy I wouldn't even trust you holding a twig. When people look up the word incompetent in the dictionary they get a rough description of you, yes you, you total failure as a human being. Look at that, on top of that you start crying, and you cannot even do that right. I mean, even a retarded person or a monkey can cry more convincing than you. Oh no, here we go again, I'm going to commit suicide weh weh weh, all you do is whine like a little bitch and bitch about it on the internet. And ...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] This morning a prisoner in our local prison escaped during the morning break. He did this wearing a Jetpack flying over the fence. It still remains a mystery how the Jetpack was smuggled inside, some experts believe it was snuck in in parts and reassembled inside the cell. While others believe it was delivered by a drone. A local lunatic had this to say... [Local Lunatic] Wohooblublabli [Talon] Please remind the crew not to feature lunatics anymore, this is surely hurting the intergity of this show. Wait, I'm getting a call, what, no, I'm not black, I don't rap and I did not fuck your bitch... Sorry people, had a call there for a moment, where were we... Ah yes, police are still investigating this matter and will update the media as the story progresses. Chaniqua is at our local jail, but the cheering and wooing is so loud we cannot connect to her. Those inmates must really like chocolate, next up a...

[Announcer] Welcome to Interesting People, here's your host!! [Talon] Good morning and welcome, today we have an in depth story about a local man who owns a parapalegic bird. [Soundbite] What are you doing? what am I doing, what am I doing, what does it look like I'm doing? Well you seem to be flying a bird around with your drone. To the untrained eye this might seem insane, but this bird is a parapalegic. you see last fall it broke it's wing and is no longer able to fly. That made Judy depressed. Judy? That's how I call her, anyway she was no longer able to fly and became very depressed. So I called 1-800-DRONEPET and ordered a DAN5, attached it to my bird so now she has the illusion of flight which makes her happy. I fly her around every day for around thirty minutes or how long the batteries of the drone will allow. Don't people make fun of you? Yes, sometimes, children saying hey that weird man is flying his bird around with his drone again he surely must be ins...

[Talon] Hi, I'm Talon and today I'm promoting a brand new product. It's called Drone Attachment Number Five... You see, normally you have to train a dog to go somewhere, but not with the Drone Attachment Number Five or DAN5 for short. It's exactly as you think, you equip your pet with the DAN5 and it will fly everywhere you want it to go. You want your cat to go up, well now it can. Have you ever thought about flying your rabbit around, well me neither untill I discovered this marvel of technology. The drone is equipped with a 360 angle camera and straps to connect your pet. Without your pet attached it's just a drone nothing more, it's up to you to add the pet. [Neighbour] Hi, I live down the street, my capybara never listened to me in the past, and now it doesn't have to. [Talon] Call 1-800-DRONEPET or visit www.fookyoo.local, use coupon code INSANE for an additional 12% off. [Disclaimer Voice] Warning, pets might not survive...

[Doctor Hospital] I can't work like this, you see this, this is a ketchup stain on my medical overall. [Nurse A] But Doctor Hospital, that is not ketchup, that is human blood. [Doctor Hospital] Blood, blood, you mean I have human blood on me? [Nurse A] Well this is open surgery sir. [Doctor Hospital] Open surgery, do you mean we are having guests during this operation like open house. [Nurse A] What no, Doctor Hospital, are you feeling allright? [Doctor Hospital] I don't know, feel my wrist, do I have a pulse? Where are we exactly, is this the hospital, are those shapes sizes and colours. Oh look at the nice little bunny rabbit... [Announcer] Doctor Hospital will continue after the commercials... [Soundbite] Hi I am Doctor Hospital, let me tell you a secret, my middle name is Medical, yes yes, my full name is Doctor Medical Hospital and don't you ever forget it... [Geffrey] How could anyone forget that name it's ridiculous... [Marjory] Honey, what are you doing? [...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Hi and again welcome to News Tonight. Today an old rap song became reality... ♫ Who's the man with the master plan? A nigga with a motherfucking gun ♪ It was earlier this afternoon when a local Nigga robbed the bank, he had a masterplan and a motherfucking gun. Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Hi there viewer, I'm here at the local bank where it all happened. You see there was this nigga, he had a masterplan and a motherfucking gun which he used to rob the bank. He then got into his Fiat Punto, ignored traffic lights and made off with over 200.000 Moneys in small bills. The bank teller had this to say... [Teller] Uhh [Chaniqua] That is all he had to say about the matter, back to you Talon. [Talon] You're doing an amazing job as always Chaniqua, after the commercials we will be back with a deranged weatherman who believes the end times are near...

I'm scared, affraid that I'm not racist and offensive enough, you see it all begins with freedom of expression, which leads to freedom of perspectives which allows your perception of reality to grow and allows you to mature as a human being so you can become wise, preferrably before you're old and grey. Attain insight, perspectives and knowledge now, it will pay itself back tenfold,..

[Bruce Willis] Have you seen the weather out here, it's fucking terrific. I mean between the storms and lightning that is, reminds me of my ex wife. You know what that bitch said yesterday? She asked for a fucking divorce when she served me a glass of whiskey. And now, I'm dealing with you Slavic motherfuckers in this appartment complex and I'm out of Asprin. Tomorrow on Channel One, Die Hard The John McLaine Story, don't miss it!!!

[Morgan Freeman] It was 1912, Luke was walking down the street and then he was confronted with the unknown. You see I was the first negro Luke ever saw and I could see a shiver going down his spine. You see, people were very racist back then. He greeted me in a timely fashion, I could immediately see he was a cultured man, racist, but cultured... Airing tonight, Shawshank Redemption II The Prequel...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your host, well sort of... [Joe Slack] Welcome viewer, Talon is on vacation and visiting some all in resort, I'm filling his place during this vacation. My name is Joe Slack and... [Announcer] We asked you to do an intro, we didn't ask for your life story! [Joe Slack] Anyway, back to today's subject. Some poor Asian country with a crazy dictator got even more crazy, The previous dictator died and his son Joe Smith, his son, has taken the throne. We all know Joe Smith sounds western, but if you say this to his face you will face the execution squad. See how I used face two times in one sentence, yes I am funny aren't I? [Chaniqua] No you're not and shut yo white ass the hell up, we have an important issue to discuss... Did you know that 10 out of 10 white people are white? And another thing, what the hell is up with white chocolate... [Announcer] Sorry, we seem to be experiencing technical difficulties at this moment... ...

[Soundbite] Hi. Your Mother... Good afternoon. Your Mother... Nice weather today. Your Mother... Barely a cloud in the sky. Your Mother... Hey. Your Mother... Is your mother an answer to everything? Your Mother... Hey, stop that you're agitating me! Your Mother... What, what, do you want me punch you in your face? Your Mother... Listen, I'm going to fuck you up. Your Mother... That is it, where are you so I can beat you up. Your Mother... Listen here motherfucker, I'm going to fuck you up big time now what do you have to say for yourself? Your Mother... Why do you keep saying your mother you motherfucking asshole? Cuz I fucked yo bitch *click*

[Serious Disclaimer Voice] This program contains partial nudity, full nudity, strong language, even stronger sexual content, foul language, some unknown critic, cheese, terrible WiFi reception and a whif of perfume from a deceased alien... [Announcer] Welcome to The Bizarro Zone, where all your troubles melt away replacing it with fear of the unknown. [Iglesias Morrato] Tonight, we go deep into the unknown and will be covering the topic of a Fata Morganaesque town called Insane. [Soundbite] Have you gone insane? I reject that notion, it implies I already went there. Welcome to the town called Insane, the weather here is beautiful and the animals so kind, even the wolves like to be petted. And whenever you enter a coalmine you get a complimentary canary, the people are so kind here. Here it's like christmas every day, Santa better don't come you pray. Why you ask, when Santa visits you need a gasmask. Everything here is upside down, the local janitor is the wealthiest man in tow...

[Annoouncer] Welcome to News Today, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Today company executive of Fook Yoo married Ivanna Alott, it was a beautiful ceremony and the crowd was joyfull. Here's Chaniqua with the inside scoop and as always on the scene. Chaniqua my precious lump of coal? [Chaniqua] Hi there mediocre excuse for teeth whitener, yes it was a beautiful ceremony. The weather was beautiful, we had sun all morning and there was just a slight breeze which took just enough heat away to make it pleasant. [Talon] So, which name did she adopt? [Chaniqua] Ivanna has taken her husbands name and will henceforth be called Ivanna Fook Yoo - Alott. [Talon] What did you say? [Chaniqua] Ivanna Fook Yoo - Alott! [Talon] Is it just me or does her name cause sexual arrousal? We will be back after the commercials with an expose about people using the word bear too much. I truly bear about you, those remarks make me wanna puke, be right back... [Announcer] Here's a gift from Ivanna...

[Psychiatrist] And... how did you sleep last night? [Rupert] It was an endless series of nightmares, every time I fell asleep ALF tried to eat me. You know that early nineties or late eighties show called ALF. Well ALF stands for Alien Life Force and that fucking show puppet tried to eat me all night, every time I fell asleep he started chasing me. Apparently he caught the cat from the show and is hungry for more, I couldn't even close my eyes at some points. [Psychiatrist] What do you think it means? [Rupert] What do I think it means, I think it means I shouldn't re download old episodes of ALF and binge watch them till I'm so immersed I can no longer distinguish reality from fiction. Hey wait a minute, these revelations are supposed to be comming from you, why the hell am I paying you? This was my last session, here's the cash and Rupert OUT... *Drops Microphone* [Psychiatrist] Why the hell did you bring a microphone to my office? [Rupert] So I could drop it, Bee aii ...

[Welcome to Opinion Now, here's your host! [Host] Welcome to today's show, today we feature a piece on restaurants by an unknown food critic who also claims to be a politican. Here it goes! [Soundbite] I might be a crazy out there politician who is also a food critic, butI have a proposition. In restaurants and the like where a large group of people eat at a very long table. There, in that situation, at the heads of the table there should be no guests. The waiters sit there, eat and talk with the guests. And you have probably already guessed it, when you need a refill or something you don't have to wait for a waiter. She's at the table right next to you and you're having a wonderful conversation with her. Also don't forget that the head of the table position allows for easy access! You see, and it might seem archaic, but at the head of the table is usually the person in charge. And who is in charge of your dinner? Exactly, the cooks and the waiters, they are in ...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Welcome back to the news, tonigh a story about cows and Chaniqua has the inside scoop. How's my delicious dark chocolate doing? [Chaniqua] You're like white chocolate, you look pale and you melt easily. Question, have you ever seen a black person eating white chocolate? [Talon] That is indeed a good question, but how are the cows doing? [Chaniqua] Well the cows seem somewhat satisfied with the outcome. [Talon] What outcome? [Chaniqua] Exactly! [Talon] You're only filling me with more questions! [Chaniqua] All I can say is Moo... [Talon] Moo? [An Actual Cow] Moo! [Talon] There you have it people, Moo!! We will be back after the commercials with coverage about the exploding dogs, with the main question being why do they look so happy carrying out their mission? [Announcer] Viewer discretion is advised! [Maxis Jaxxon] Hi, I'm Maxis Jaxxon from Conspiracy Now promoting our bodylotion. See how I s...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Losing todays game match is just a lesson for tomorrow's win is a quote from Tsun Tzu The Art of Gaming, it was in 1988 where he truly took his place in history when he got the ultimate high score in Tetris. You see Tsun Tzu liked to be in the shadows, but his Tetris high score changed all that. It was that one fated morning where he walked onto the driveway in his pajamas to pick up the newspaoer. He then looked up to the sky and saw several airborne chickens. They were locked and loaded, thus ready to fire. Then their target got into view. It was a prop from Indepence Day, a giant UFO. The chickens fired their AAM's, that is Air to Air Missile in laymens terms. Since the giant UFO was made out of paper mache the whole incident blew over with a variety of explosions. The Chicken Alliance denied any involvement, but we know where the egg has been laid, don't we. Next up, a story about a retard wh...

8:00 News Live 8:30 News Today 9:00 Doctor Hospital 10:00 News Today 10:30 Special Documentary Inside Access 12:00 News Today 12:30 Conspiracy Now 16:00 Disturbed Animals 17:30 News Live 18:00 News Tonight 18:30 Doctor Hospital 19:30 Star Space 21:00 News Tonight 21:30 Feature Movie 22:30 News Live 23:30 News Tonight' Ask yourself the question, does this make sense? Question, why does an 8 foot tall Wookie live with the Ewoks on planet Endor, why? That does not make sense, dear reader, none of this makes any sense!!! (Yes, this is a South Park joke, so obvious I dont even have to point it out)

Welcome to News tonight, out of the fifty soldiers only 7 survived. But we have prevailed, aliens are down, I repeat, the aliens are down. It was only 5 hours ago when a interdimensional portal opened up and presented us with the problem of 15 Space Aliens. Our local army was quick to respond and the threat has been neutralized. Funny thing, whenever the government uses the word neutralized they really mean killed. Chaniqua is at the scene, my dear M&M... [Chaniqua] Eminem, I ain't no rapper! Anyways, I'm standing here with an army official who apparently needs a hearing aid. SIR, SIR, SIR??? [Deaf Officer] YES MAM! My ears were fine this morning but the barrage of grenades and alien explosives really did a number on my ears! WHAT? WHAT? [Chaniqua] NOTHING, please continue your story... [Deaf Officer] Well, I got a call that a portal opened up, we exited the base with 8 soldiers filling two Hum-Vee's. only five minutes later... WHAT? WHAT? [Chaniqua] This is going nowhe...

[Announcer] Are you a confident woman? Do you like vampire movies and do you start menstruating during a full moon. Call 1-800-IMINSANE now and get a 15% discount off of the usual rate. 9 out of 10 psychiatrists are confused by this commercial. If you suffer from confusion call 1-800-FOOKYOO, because Fook Yoo!! [Soundbite] ♫ I'm in the drivers seat and rapping to the beat. You bitches better run and hide real fast, I'm getting me a real bitch that will last... ♪ [Announcer] Out now, Niggarapture by Adolph Hitler. Only 39.99 Moneys at your local record shop! [Asian Ad Man] Don't you hate to wait? I hate to wait! Therefore you buy now with drone delivery. Call 1-800-FOOKYOO now. Why aren't you calling yet? I said now! You can also order via www.fookyoo.local. Well because, Fook Yoo!! [Announcer] Don't you just hate those pushy asians? Tired of saying yes I want the chili sauce, but not the chopsticks? Vote yes on Prop 57 now!! [Disclaimer] This message has been ...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your favorite host!! This morning a dimensional portal opened up and a crazy professor with his boy sidekick at our local farm area. They were only there for 48 seconds but the damage had been done. With it came 15 crazy triggerfinger loaded with weapons aliens of whom there are still 12 alive. We now switch to Chaniqua who is on the outskirts of our City. Chaniqua?... ... Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Hi, I couldn't hear you because of all the shooting. At this moment we still have 34 soldiers and the enemy count is down to 11. [Talon] What kind of weapons do the aliens use? [Chaniqua] Hard to say, it's definetely energy based as I keep hearing Pehtjiew Pethjiew. Right now we're under fire so I'd like to keep this short! [Talon] Very understandable, anything of note about the crazy scientist? [Chaniqua] The only thing I got was pointy hair and a heavy atmosphere of alcohol filled air. [Talon] Amazing, just amazing, we'll be back...

Some of this is based on reality, not really though for legal purposes... Have you ever really looked at Superman and Batman, and I mean really really looked. Spandex suits with the underpants over the suit, I mean it's as clear as day isn't it? And regarding the movies, whatever happened to Robin the Boy WonderIng where his underpants went. I mean, Batman, who the hell dresses up like a fucking bat? And Superman, red underpants, can you get more gay than that? Don't laugh, these are serious questions. Why not dress up like a Ninja? Oh wait, the muslim females already do that... Tonight on SDIA, an in depth investigation on auto erotic mummyfication featuring expert Vincent Masuka. "You see the front goes into the back goes into the front again, as you can see right here in this clip! Yes, I have recorded this myself, thank you..." After that we will air Opinion Today where a dutch person explains that all dutch pretend to know the english language with an e...

[Announcer] Welcome to Opinion Today, here's your host! [Top Host] Hi, and welcome to the first episode of Opinion Today where one guest gets five minutes to explain their viewpoint. Why do people wearing glasses look more intelligent than they actually are? [Unknown Expert] You see, in medieval times where glasses probably were introduced barely anyone could read. This remained so for centuries without change, so it's engrained into our societal perspectives that those who wear glasses have the ability to read. Back in those times if you wore glasses it was obvious you had an education and could write and read, thus proving you are more intelligent than the person next to you. Whether this is due to collective perception or cultural perception is up for debate, but no one can deny that we have the perspective that glasses make you look educated and intelligent. That's all I have to say about this matter right meow. [Top Host] Thank you "Unknown Expert"... We will...

[Announcer] Welcome to Disturbed Animals, here's your host! [DA Host] Welcome dear viewer, today we will be featuring an in depth view into the life of an inbred Murderous Chicken. During the day it seems like a normal chicken, but after every night there's a dead chicken in the pen. It acts all innocent during the day to throw you off, but it's all a facade. This chicken knows exactly what it's doing!1 [Farmer Harry Hay] It was just last night when I locked them up, and this morning there was another chicken, you should have seen the deadly stare in Harrold's eye. [DA Host] Harrold? [Harry] Harrold, you know, the chicken in questionn! [DA Host] Okay, so what now? [Harry] I'm going to separate the chickens, my wife keeps telling me. Put that chicken in the basement with Mr. Paws! [DA Host] Mr. Paws? [Harry] It's the kitten we adopted which turned out to be a GEH. I'm putting the murderous chicken in the basement with the GEH as we speak... *Line Disconne...

[Announcer] Don't you sometimes just want to complain for complainings sake? Look at the new car your neighbour, doesn't it look shiny and new. Do you have any idea how much liters of water it costs to produce a brand new car? Way too many, and that's exactly the amount you need to go to your neighbour and complain to him about it. Want to follow a course in professional complaining, call 1-800-ICOMPLAIN, I repeat 1-800-ICOMPLAIN... [Announcer] Have you ever wiped your ass and thought to yourself this toiletpaper could do better, well no more with our ultra deluxe soft pro toiletpaper you'll be wiping your ass like a king. Nine out of Ten Kings approve anonymously!!! Order via www.fookyoo.local or visit your local convenience store. Remember, Fook Yoo, and only Fook Yoo!! [Maxis Jaxxon] Hi, I am Maxis Jaxxon from Conspiracy Now and I present to you Ultra Feet Balm Pro, here, watch me rub it in my hairy feet. Oh my god, this feels awesome, I can feel the life coming ...

[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, with your host Maxis Jaxxon! [Maxis Jaxxon] Welcome dear patriot, Datawarrior, Conspiracy Theorists, honestly I don't know what to call you guys anymore. Today We're taking phonecalls, caller Nr.1? [Caller Nr.1] Yeah hi, thank you for taking my call, see my cat is Satan incarnated, it walked into my bedroom last night with red glowing eyes. Come to think of it, it may have been a dream because I forgot to feed it... [Maxis Jaxxon] Thank you caller, next... [Caller Nr.2] Yeah hi, I think I'm being hacked, my computer does double clicks all the time and I don't know what's going on. [Maxis Jaxxon] There you have it viewers, now the crazies come out, my computer is being hacked bla bla whine whine, seriously when do we get to the real stuff??? Next. [Caller Nr.3] Yeah hi, I think my cat might be a GEH, I'm affraid to let it out of it's cage. [Maxis Jaxxon] Does it meow? [Caller Nr.3] Sometimes... [Maxis Jaxxon] Someone ple...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Welcome to tonights show where we will be discussing the topic of the day during an in studio interview. Dogs, are they pets or tools of terrorists? Here's a dog expert! [Dog Expert] Well I believe... [Talon] Yes yes yes, very interesting, does the opposition have anything to add? [FOD Agency Agent] We at the Fear Of Dogs Agency are keen to explain the threat mans best friend now poses to the integral safety of our society. See dogs do anything for a cookie, just like Pluto did this afternoon. [Dog Expert] Yes but you can hardly point to the dog for that, because... [Talon] Yes, yes, wonderful response. Now what danger do dogs actually pose at this moment? [FOD Agency Agent] Well, if you hear a bark in your neighbourhood, go lie in the bathtub and call 1-800-EMERGENCY. [Talon] So it's safe to say it's not safe with dogs around? [Dog Expert] You know the dog didn't push the button you know... [F...

[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now! Here's your host Maxisss Jaxxon!! [Maxis Jaxon] Welcome dear viewer! Today a local extremist taped a stick of C4 to a trained dog, he pointed his right arm forward and aimed his index finger at the local court house. He then screamed "Attention Pluto, Forward March". The mutt then proceeded to run towards the courthouse and right when it reached the door the extremist pulled the trigger. Only five seconds afterwards the police took him into custody, but it was too late. Half the courthoúse is now in shambles and Pluto is nowhere to be found. I have it on good authority that it was trained by a professional, that dog ran in a straight line from beginning to end. Why it kept whisking it's tail remains to be investigated in detail. To the uneducated it seemed happy, but that is only to the untrained eye. More on this later...

[Heavy Voice Announcer] Don't you just love the smell of a freshly opened pack of cigarettes or tobacco? We present to you the best of the best in tobacco smells, here at Smokers Central have developped the spiciest eau the toilette with heavy notes of tobacco. Win her heart, smell like a freshly opened pack of cigarettes!!! Only 59.99 per bottle! [Asian Ad Woman] You order now, call 1-800-FOOKYOO or order online at www.fookyoo.local. Smell like real Asian Man today, you buy now! [Soundbite] Doctor Hospital, have you ever delivered a baby? What the fuck, why are you asking me, do I look like a mother fucking stork to you??? Am I pecking things with my beak? Do I fly in the sky? In what shape, way or form do I look like a stork to you???[Announcer] See it all tonight on Doctor Hospital... [Announcer] Have you ever seen fruit so beautiful it would be a shame to eat it? Well, a blind person can't and we at the Fruit Institute want to make blind people aware of the beauty of f...

...what the motherfucking hell in gods name is that creature? Oh, that's my Civet Cat I secretly and illegally imported. Why the hell would you do that? Well, so I can order fresh coffeebeans off of the internet and feed it to my Civet Cat! Why would you do that? Well, these turds on the floor... Yes? Well, I'm going to take out the coffee beans, roast them and make coffee out of it, want some? You drink pooped out coffee? Why not, it's most expensive coffee on earth! Spoiler alert, it's delicious! Well, I think I'll pass for now... So, why, want to get to know my Civet Cat better before you make that step? What, no, it's just I'm new to the idea of pooped out coffee... Does it like to be petted? No idea, it just eats and shits beans all day long...

[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, here's your favorite host Maxis Jaxxon!!! [Maxis Jaxxon] This morning on my way to work I ran over a chicken, and it made me realize something. You see we are all chickens run over by the government. One moment you're laying an egg, the next you're as flat as a pancake smeared with ketchup. You know what the ketchup represents? You think it's blood, but you're wrong. The ketchup represents your bank account and the government is doing everything it can to empty it! And the pancake, I'm not even going to elaborate on the pancake. Because we all know what the pancake means don't we? All this talking about pancakes is making me hungry. Which is a perfect opportunity to sell you the following product. You see, this container contains enough crackers to sustain you and your family for two whole months. Order now for only 89.99 Moneys and the shipping is free with coupon code SALTY... [Maxis Jaxxon] Hi Datawarrior, I presen...

There was a stream blocking his path, but there luckily was a bridge. However it was guarded by a troll which asked for a toll. He had an ancient question for those who wished to pass the bridge. How many Trolls does it take to guard the bridge he asked. The Rat King replied with none, because you presence is enough so no guarding is needed. The Troll laughed and fell into the river which allowed The Rat King to continue on his journey. He walked a long way along the road and then he saw a carriage approaching, a two dog carriage. The Rat King said to the rider, hey mister, can we possibly trade. To which the rider replied, halt, there's business to be had. The rider who identified himself as Trader Jack of all Trades, which The Rat King kind of found long winded for a mere merchant. The merchant asked me for my name, to which he replied, sorry, for now my name shall be unspoken. The Rat King asked if he could exchange 3 Moneys for 3 Apples to which the trader agreed. Which was a g...

It was ages ago, it took place in a far away land. And by that I mean it took place a few paces from here. It was a time of prosperity in the kingdom. Lanterns were lit at night, people were well fed and there was little crime to speak of. Though you had to be mistaken that all was well. You see, in the darkness things weren't going too well. There was lots of poverty and it drove the Rat King into a corner, and that's when it all started. It started in a dark moist moss filled cave that only reveived sunlight two hours a day. There, at the throne of the Rat King, it was decided action had to be taken. The Rat Kingdom only had food for two more weeks and the Rat Kingdom Treasure Chest was emptied out. This didn't happen suddenly, you see, for the last few years crop yields were surprisingly low as there was enough rain and sunlight to let them grow. It was a sort of curse as it were and there was no one to point to, nor was there any action to be undertaken to counteract th...

*ZAP* ...scientists have finally developped nigga optics far enough to detect a nigga... *ZAP* ...and then they finally arrested the racist by the name of Bleach McWhitey, it was a long struggle where... *ZAP* ...have you ever seen jewelry this cheap anywhere else? Try... *ZAP* ...are you insane?... *ZAP* ...it was the heat of the moment... *ZAP* ...finally I can get some rest from those pesky crime solvers... [Rupert] Boring... *ZAP* ...these aren't just normal cars, they're loaded with weapons and explosives, welcome to Death Race 2019... [Rupert] Oh my god, I have to see this... [Death Race Announcer] Yes people, today it all goes down, here's our favorite contestant. Joel Ubermachbeckenschlager. From here on we're just gonna call you Joel is that okay? [Joel] Yeah my man, that is A okay, anyway, I have 2 gattling guns on top of my hood, on each side a hellfire missile and I have caltrops and mines in the back. I'm feeling really good about this coming race you k...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Relax dear viewer, the robbery is far gone and there is no threat level present according to local authorities. How's my chocolate milk doing? [Chaniqua] Chocolate milk, where the hell do you get off? [Talon] well usually by my right hand, but that's neither here nor there. Hows the situation over there? [Chaniqua] Well apparently today a man got robbed, I'm standing next to him and here are his words... [Victim A1XB] Yeah, I was standing there. And for the record I wasn't robbed, I gave my wallet freely. He seemed like some kind of Robin Hood or some shit, or you know, masked, like Zorro. At that moment I really felt like I contributed to society! [Chaniqua] So, were you, or were you not robbed? [Victim A1XB] Hell no nigga sista, I wasn't robbed, I was Robin Hooded. See last week I won 200 Moneys with the scratch lottery tickets so I was bound to walk into some misfortune. [Chaniqua] Yes, ...

*ZAP* ...right now we are featuring a full panel discussion with one schizophrenic man who identifies himself as a full panel... *ZAP* ...Hi there, are you in need of toiletpaper, I know I am... *ZAP* ...and then he punched her in the face for... *ZAP* ...have you ever seen Topaz or Lapis Lazuli this beatiful? Only 59... *ZAP* ...today a tragedy occurred when a pedestrian jumped in front of incoming traffic with.. *ZAP* ...this is it you stinky ass bitch, I'm gonna... *ZAP* ...do you fear black people? Well so do I... *ZAP* [Rupert] Isn't there anything decent on TV? Hey wait a minute, the news is about to start featuring my favorite host!! *ZAP* [Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Good evening dear viewer and again welcome to tonights show. Today we are covering a continuation of the Terminator story. It is time we realised that not every person with chrome coated prosthetics is a Terminator. We all remember last week when a war vetera...

[Announcer] Welcome to conspiracy now, here's your host Maxis Jaxxon!! [Maxis Jaxxon] Welcome to todays show dear Datawarriors, today we will delve into the subject of weather control. You see, I have it from good and confidential sources that heatwaves are caused by the government. Yes dear viewer, yes, you better believe it. You see during heatwaves a lot of elderly in retirement homes die from respitory issues and whatnot, so it's an easy way to relieve the tension on pension funds. It's all about the money people, and you better believe it. I can remember when summers weren't so hot, nowadays you have to wear a tin foil hat just to cool down your brain, it's insane!!! You know in ancient times they used a sun dial, don't you get it, they used to dial the sun man, the motherfucking sun!! I know this sounds crazy, but listen to this! [Soundbite] Hi, I'm Maxis Jaxxon, I'm offering you the latest in sun screen technology. Watch this hot reporter smear th...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Please remain calm as we delve into another Terminator story, my coffee... [Chaniqua] Who the hell are you calling coffee?? [Talon] My coffee is cold, can someone get me a fresh one, sorry... Anyway, my dear chocolate bonbon filled with praliné, what's the story? [Chaniqua] Thank you bag of wheat, apparently there's a continuation in the chocolate, I mean Terminator, story. Today a man was released from the hospital after serving in an overseas war. He was given prosthetics which are coated with chrome. It was only 10 minutes later from when he was released the hospital that people started calling 1-800-EMERGENCY because a terminator was sighted. He wore black sunglasses, a black leather jacked, a box of roses and his prosthetics reflecting massive amounts of sunlight which almost blinded bystanders. All these factors did not help the Suspected Terminator as his chrome prosthetics and black sunglasses w...

I was without Internet for about a week and a day, so I'm fully ready to play... Just kidding, not making a rhyme here. Why I did not create lots of articles when offline. You see, I try to keep it as real-time as possible. A week here, is a week there. Which kinda came in handy when creating episode 10. Yes a lot of characters haven't appeared yet, so please remember there's still lots to come and I'm only one writer. Thank you. Addendum: What I really wanted to say, and I forgot... My stories are in itself it's own expanding universe and has no basis in actual reality, Even I don't know where it's going, but I'm trying to keep things consistent, and of course entertaining for you guys,..

...[Caitlyn] Hey you, yeah you, you fucking pedophile. Go fuck a 12 year old bottle of scotch, but leave me the fuck alone!!! [Rupert] Any trouble Cait? No, this loser, I mean gentleman was just leaving. You know I carry a shiv right??? *Strange man runs away* [Caitlyn] Sorry Rupert, I know I'm not supposed to use those swear words, but it just gets to me. I'm only twelve and they're coming at me like locusts, there's no end to it. Hey you motherfucker who's running away, next time I won't hesitate. See Rupert, that's what I get in return for my good nature. [Rupert] I know Cait, didn't you have to do homework? [C] Well, actually yes. But Cashgrab III is out so Jack's room is eminating too much noise to do my homework... *next room* [Jack] Oh my god, these pay with cash loot boxes sometimes drop ultra rare keys which I can use to open Extreme Lootboxes. Who would've thought of that, loot boxes to open loot boxes, sheer brilliance... --- S...