The Newsaholic / News Tonight - Halloween I [102819-02]

[Announcer] Welome to News Tonight, here's your top host!!! [Talon] Hi, welcome to tonights show dear viewer. Are your doors and windows locked down? Good, because there's something strange and haunting going on in our town. There are even those who whisper of the arrival of an actual vampire. Now calm down you at home, these are just rumors. Hey, why are the lights going out, is this it? [Cameraman] Sorry, I bumped into the light switch. [Talon] Continueing, Chaniqua is on the scene as always and I'm hoping to get some substancial information from her. Chaniqua, Chaniqua, where are you? *lights at scene turn on* [Chaniqua] Hah, hah, it's because I'm black isn't it? [Talon] Not this time, I couldn't even see the white guy behind you and he has this prodent smile. Anyway, give us an update on the vampire story. [Chaniqua] Well, no one has actually seen a vampire, but look at this! [Talon] Poop? [Chaniqua] To be more specific, Guam. Bat poop. [Talon] What is Guam doing in our little town, what is going on here. [Chaniqua] Forrest rangers are scouting the area, each equipped with 7 silver coated bullets. You see, three years ago the local government discovered that only the outer shell of the bullet matters against vampires and werewolves so they switched to silver coated bullets instead. Wait a minute, just wait a minute, is that a vampire approaching us? [Forrest Ranger] No Ma'am that's just the weird goth kid that lives down the street! *connection gets interrupted* Talon, Talon, are you still there? [Talon] I can still hear her, but she cannot hear me. Oh my god, what the hell is approaching behind her, is that the vampire??? [Chaniqua] Talon, is this feed still on, please respond. [Chaniqua] Hey I heard that, and something is approaching me from behind, what the hell??? [Senior Taco] Hi, I'm Senior Taco, there's a lot of people here and I thought you all might be hungry. Today I have the Halloween Vampire Special, it has the guarantee of Vladimir the Impaler's second cousins grandson. You see, the tomato sauce resembles blood... [Chaniqua] Yeah I'm hungry I'll have two. [Talon] Make that three and bring one back to the studio. Okay people, we went a little off tangent here but I think we can recover with a story about cows who engage in freestyle snowboarding while wearing super cool sunglasses...

TO BE CONTINUED?!?...

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