Conspiracy Now Vlog - Birdpoop [102919-01]

[Maxis Jaxxon] Today when I drove to work a pigeon shat on my window, and I was like okay... But then five minutes later a seagul shat on my window which impaired my view on the road. I put on the windshield wipers and the poop was smeared all over my front window... I had the lab do a research analogy and the following turned up. The poo turned out to be greasy. You see people, that's what happens when birds eat french fries all day long. And who's fault it that? Well, everyone who visits fast food restaurants and spill their fries onto the floor... Where was I going with this, seriously, where am I going with this? Oh yeah, you see the greased up shit is the bullshit the government feeds you, and the work of the windshield wiper represents the teachers in school that disperse and share the knowledge. The driver, that is you, is the slave and the government at the same time... You see, if you let go of the wheel, you'll crash. The direction indicators has no significant meaning, but the cupholder, well that's a story for another day... Maxis Jaxxon out!!

SNL does skits on "him", compared to mine they're like....








Exactly....





Nothing!!!