The Newsaholic Season 1 Episode 10.2 - Deathrace 2019

*ZAP* ...scientists have finally developped nigga optics far enough to detect a nigga... *ZAP* ...and then they finally arrested the racist by the name of Bleach McWhitey, it was a long struggle where... *ZAP* ...have you ever seen jewelry this cheap anywhere else? Try... *ZAP* ...are you insane?... *ZAP* ...it was the heat of the moment... *ZAP* ...finally I can get some rest from those pesky crime solvers... [Rupert] Boring... *ZAP* ...these aren't just normal cars, they're loaded with weapons and explosives, welcome to Death Race 2019... [Rupert] Oh my god, I have to see this... [Death Race Announcer] Yes people, today it all goes down, here's our favorite contestant. Joel Ubermachbeckenschlager. From here on we're just gonna call you Joel is that okay? [Joel] Yeah my man, that is A okay, anyway, I have 2 gattling guns on top of my hood, on each side a hellfire missile and I have caltrops and mines in the back. I'm feeling really good about this coming race you know... [Marjory] Rupert, Rupert, dinners ready... [Rupert] Ah hell no, I gotta tape this! Be right there Marjory!

[Rupert] This tastes great, but excuse me for rushing this meal, I really want to watch Death Race 2019. The bodycount is said to become awesome... [Caitlyn] Do they censor the bad parts? [Rupert] What bad parts, this show is pure awesomeness! [Mark] Even I watch that show, can't wait to see Kovi Kovikovich in action, he's the ultimate eastern dude in the game and has balls of steel! [Jack] Pfuh, Kovi Kovikovich, I'm with Kojimanaki Arritaki, he's like Jet Lee on steroids and crack at the same time! [Marjory] Kids, kids, lets just eat dinner and leave the mayhem for later... [In Choir] You're right mom!...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MCB 2019 Announcement!!! [103019-0E]

[Announcer] This Saturday, save the date, do not go out to dinner, don't talk to your family... Yes, yes you're thinking what I'm thinking, throw away everything else and sit in front of the TV at twenty hundred hours, because it's the yearly event we have all been waiting for. 30 Comedians, One hour, containing the most offensive jokes in history. This years host of MCB Mega Comedy Blast will be our channels favorite host, Talon. [Talon] Hi, I'm Talon and this year I will be hosting MGC, and I promise you it will be the most offensive event in history... [Announcer] This saturday at eight, don't miss it!!! (When the Olympics happened I wasn't able to come online so I had to forfeit that effort, fingers crossed!!)
Read more

Most offensive post of the day - Lootboxes [102819-01]

What do you call a store who's cameras aren't equipped with nigga optics? A lootbox! [Marjory] Rupert, how can you say such a thing, that's racist and offensive... [Rupert] I'm sorry Marjory, but it had to be said... But I do have one thing to add, why did the looters leave all the black sneakers behind and only went for the white sneakers? That's because you can see dirt on white sneakers more easily and we all know these people like to get offended... [Marjory] Like to, or are? [Rupert] Both! If this was too offensive for you, please call 1-800-IDONTCARE right now and receive 15% off of your next telephone bill, because we all know you like to whine endlessly... [Disclaimer Voice] Hi dear viewer, every expression and opinion made by this company does not reflect the company. Edit/Addon/Etc Lootboxes should be renamed, I mean gamers nowadays act like a bunch of cheap whores. Lootboxes should be called Pimpbribes instead you know, to reflect it's actual ef...
Read more

Opinion Today - Looking intelligent while wearing glasses [101719-02]

[Announcer] Welcome to Opinion Today, here's your host! [Top Host] Hi, and welcome to the first episode of Opinion Today where one guest gets five minutes to explain their viewpoint. Why do people wearing glasses look more intelligent than they actually are? [Unknown Expert] You see, in medieval times where glasses probably were introduced barely anyone could read. This remained so for centuries without change, so it's engrained into our societal perspectives that those who wear glasses have the ability to read. Back in those times if you wore glasses it was obvious you had an education and could write and read, thus proving you are more intelligent than the person next to you. Whether this is due to collective perception or cultural perception is up for debate, but no one can deny that we have the perspective that glasses make you look educated and intelligent. That's all I have to say about this matter right meow. [Top Host] Thank you "Unknown Expert"... We will...
Read more