News Today - Dictators and Vacation [101819-0B]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your host, well sort of... [Joe Slack] Welcome viewer, Talon is on vacation and visiting some all in resort, I'm filling his place during this vacation. My name is Joe Slack and... [Announcer] We asked you to do an intro, we didn't ask for your life story! [Joe Slack] Anyway, back to today's subject. Some poor Asian country with a crazy dictator got even more crazy, The previous dictator died and his son Joe Smith, his son, has taken the throne. We all know Joe Smith sounds western, but if you say this to his face you will face the execution squad. See how I used face two times in one sentence, yes I am funny aren't I? [Chaniqua] No you're not and shut yo white ass the hell up, we have an important issue to discuss... Did you know that 10 out of 10 white people are white? And another thing, what the hell is up with white chocolate... [Announcer] Sorry, we seem to be experiencing technical difficulties at this moment...

[Soundbite] We have a nuclear missile!!! Yes, also, my grandfather has a penis, but he's still impotent. It seems you both have a missile that cannot launch!!! [Announcer] Tonight on Too Hot For TV, what, really, well people it seems the show has been canceled, because it was Too Hot for TV. You can still watch it on www.youstream.local...


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MCB 2019 Announcement!!! [103019-0E]

[Announcer] This Saturday, save the date, do not go out to dinner, don't talk to your family... Yes, yes you're thinking what I'm thinking, throw away everything else and sit in front of the TV at twenty hundred hours, because it's the yearly event we have all been waiting for. 30 Comedians, One hour, containing the most offensive jokes in history. This years host of MCB Mega Comedy Blast will be our channels favorite host, Talon. [Talon] Hi, I'm Talon and this year I will be hosting MGC, and I promise you it will be the most offensive event in history... [Announcer] This saturday at eight, don't miss it!!! (When the Olympics happened I wasn't able to come online so I had to forfeit that effort, fingers crossed!!)
Read more

Most offensive post of the day - Lootboxes [102819-01]

What do you call a store who's cameras aren't equipped with nigga optics? A lootbox! [Marjory] Rupert, how can you say such a thing, that's racist and offensive... [Rupert] I'm sorry Marjory, but it had to be said... But I do have one thing to add, why did the looters leave all the black sneakers behind and only went for the white sneakers? That's because you can see dirt on white sneakers more easily and we all know these people like to get offended... [Marjory] Like to, or are? [Rupert] Both! If this was too offensive for you, please call 1-800-IDONTCARE right now and receive 15% off of your next telephone bill, because we all know you like to whine endlessly... [Disclaimer Voice] Hi dear viewer, every expression and opinion made by this company does not reflect the company. Edit/Addon/Etc Lootboxes should be renamed, I mean gamers nowadays act like a bunch of cheap whores. Lootboxes should be called Pimpbribes instead you know, to reflect it's actual ef...
Read more

Opinion Today - Looking intelligent while wearing glasses [101719-02]

[Announcer] Welcome to Opinion Today, here's your host! [Top Host] Hi, and welcome to the first episode of Opinion Today where one guest gets five minutes to explain their viewpoint. Why do people wearing glasses look more intelligent than they actually are? [Unknown Expert] You see, in medieval times where glasses probably were introduced barely anyone could read. This remained so for centuries without change, so it's engrained into our societal perspectives that those who wear glasses have the ability to read. Back in those times if you wore glasses it was obvious you had an education and could write and read, thus proving you are more intelligent than the person next to you. Whether this is due to collective perception or cultural perception is up for debate, but no one can deny that we have the perspective that glasses make you look educated and intelligent. That's all I have to say about this matter right meow. [Top Host] Thank you "Unknown Expert"... We will...
Read more