Talon's Humor

[Announcer] Presenting the ICE Cube Check Yo Self Breast Cancer Prevention Campaign!!! Call 1-800-CHECKYOSELF or visit www.icecubecancerprevention.local  For the Brochure!!! [Ice Cube] Hi, I'm Ice Cube and I want all you ladies out there to check yo self on a regular basis to prevent breast cancer!!! [Testimonial] I was on the brink of having cancer and then Ice Cube reminded me to check myself and I did, I went to the doctor and everything turned out okay because I had responded in time to the threat, thank you Ice Cube for saving my life!!!

Let's Make Some Changes!!!  Free Music Video Link

Since the government is pushing back on firearm legalization and is putting all it's efforts to stop the Glocks For Kids Foundation, we here at The Child Defense League have to step up our game and are introducing the P90's For Kids Program, Call 1-800-GUNSFORCHILDREN  Now and help support our cause!!! Because without YOU today, there will be no TOMORROW!!! [Little Boy] I might only be 10 years old, but I'm old enough to pick up a P90 and defend my family! [Little Girl] Hi, I'm 9 and that was my brother, I wished he had a P90 so we could feel secure at home while our parents are away, please legalize child protection rights!!! Author's Note, Yes me, I love the P90, lightweight, decent accuracy, high rate of fire and 50 bullets!!!

[Announcer] Call  1-800-MACKLEMOREDISCOUNT Now for the latest offerings and use Coupon Code SWAG15 for an additional 15% OFF!!! After the unsu ccessfull musical career of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis the duo decided to open a Thrift Store in East West Central on Crappystuff Boulevard. [Some Customer] I found them sunglasses yo, I paid 15 dollars for them, 10 extra because they belonged to Tom Cruz!!! [Some Female Customer] I bought this puppy pluche doll for my daughter, and only 12 hours later she was rushed to the hospital with a respatory syndrome!!!

O pen article or click,  this, or this, or this and this!!!

[Some Doctor] Hi we here at The White Supremacy Ultimate Racist Foundation have amazing news, new technology that the ULTRAWHiTE Labs Co. developed the ULTRAWHiTE Cab Chip, which is an advanced computer chip for self driving cabs have finally succeeded in it's programming that it will not pick up black people of colour for a ride home. We took full advantage of the faulty technology that did not recognize people of color which was used before NiGGAOPTiCS was introduced! This amazing technology allows us at the The White Supremacy Ultimate Racist Foundation to rest easy knowing that our automated cabs won't attract dangerous, criminal and violent customers. [ULTRAWHiTE Investor] At first I did not feel safe investing in self driving cabs with all these nigga's around, but now thanks to the ULTRAWHiTE Cab Chip I finally feel secure investing my money into the project!!! CALL 1-800-ULTRAWHITECAB  Now!!! Or visit www.ultrawhite.local/cab

How could I forget about the little ones, I'm so Sorry, this one is Especially For You!!!  Squid Girl Stream 1   Squid Girl Stream 2  (There's a special place in my heart for Ika chan!!! She came out of the ocean to save the planet...) I can read well, but I believe there are a lot of little ones who aren't that good at it yet, so here's an English Spoken Version for you!!!  Squid Girl EN 1  

(Click Read More Please For Awesome Soundtrack of the Show) There's Jormungand, and Jormungand Perfect Order. Jormungand stands for Dragon That Swallows Opponents Whole! The story is about Jonah a young boy mercenary and Koko Hekmatyar a young daughter of an arms dealers family that has become an arms dealer herself in order to change the world and her project has the codeword Jormungand! It's An anime that is really meant for adults. So young ones who are reading this, please only watch this at age 14 or older!!! It's really a shame, missed opportunity for anime creators and a missed opportunity for western TV stations to ignore such an awesome anime!   Some Streaming Site 1   Some Streaming Site 2

[Kurupt Youngotti] Hi dear viewer, this is Kurupt Youngotti and yes I'm using my nice speaking voice again this time. You see it's a hard time for us nigga's out here and y'all be needin' representation. Therefore I have founded the KURUPT Foundation that will fight government corruption. With your help we shall end it! Call 1-800-KURUPT  Now and Help Support our Cause and Expose Government Corruption!!! [Testimonial] I always lived in the dark till the KURUPT Foundation showed me what is really going on, Thank You Kurupt Youngotti, thank you for exposing the truth!!!

It seems we only get crap on the radio nowadays, cheap stuff with no actual content that will speak to the soul as classical music does and other hits from the past. Yes this is another blatant  Music Video Promotion!!!  (Also  Don't Click This 1!!)

[Cynthia McManiston] Hi, I'm Cynthia, I'm 9 years old and my parents weren't at home. I went to the store to get some candy, 2 Hershey Bars and a bag of M&M's, then on my way back home a strange man started following me. He followed me all the way home and kept standing outside my house. Probably because I was home alone, but then our dog had to be walked and that is my responsibility. There was only one problem, that man was still standing outside! So I picked up my fathers Glock from under his pillow and then started walking the dog. I called the police 50 minutes ago but they still weren't here and the dog had to pee so I had to go outside. Once outside the man approached me and I was forced to aim my firearm at him to protect my virginity. He did not take me seriously, because I'm a little girl and I was forced to shoot three times, one hit in his leg and he was incapacitated. Now the Police cannot do anything because I'm only nine years old, but t...

We here at the I Love Capybara Foundation have started a campaign to legalize the ownership of Capybara's. They are oversized rodents who are very kind and sweet. A Capybara makes a great pet and they are very good swimmers so you can take them out swimming from time to time. We have heard rumours of a Dog and Cat Lobbyists that are preventing Capybara's from being legalized as pets, forming some sort of Dog & Cat Mafia. Call 1-800-ILOVECAPYBARA  Now and Help Support our Cause!!! [Capybara Fan] I always loved Capybara's, they're so lovely but here in my country the government does not allow Capybara's as pets. They do allow dangerous snakes like Pythons, but apparently a Capybara will not be legaly allowed which brings tears to my eyes... [Female Capybara Fan] I always loved rats, rabbits, mice, hamsters and guinea pigs but everytime I hugged them they died. I own a Capybara now and I can tightly squeeze it with all the love in my heart!!! [Animal Rights Act...

This is more of a Public Service Announcement!!! Stop The Racial Division and Let Children Be Children!!! Addendum:  Bonus Free Music Video!!!

[Some Doctor] Hi we here at The White Supremacy Ultimate Racist Foundation have an announcement to make. We have visited an African Tribe who  paint their faces white! Ain't that just wonderful people? We discovered it is a Chalk Calcium Chemically Bonded Compound rich with unique properties that make it extra white and we are now importing it in great quantities! We have infused CCCBC into our very own latex paint created by ULTRAWHiTE Labs Co. ULTRAWHITE Paint, It covers dark surfaces in one go. It is also available in teeny weeny bottles as Correction Fluid so you can erase even the darkest of inks!!!  Call 1-800-ULTRAWHITE  Now!!!

There was a problem in the past we solved here at the NiGGATRONiCS Company, you see Nike Air Jordans only worked for Michael Jordan! While NiGGATRONiCS work for every nigga!!! We here at the NiGGATRONiCS are very proud of our product which even allows whites and asians jump a bit higher!!! Call 1-800-NIGGATRONICS  Now And Order A Pair Of The Best Shoes Available On The Planet!!!

[Xzibit] Watch the latest paintings and artistic creations in the Xzibit Exhibition Hall, Call 1-800-XZIBITHALL  for the latest opening times and we will even throw in a free brochure!!! [Testimonial] It was wonderful there, I felt like I could conquer the world with my ruckin' sack!!! [Testimonial 2] I wanted to see paintings of Xzibit, but it was all classy...

Click More For Video!!!  Or Click This Link!!!

Call 1-800-NIGGATRONICS Now!!! (Click Read More For Video)

[Some Black Dog Enthousiast] We here at the Nate Dogg Puppy Adoption Center are preserving the memory of Nate Dogg by caring for cute little puppies, his heart was full of love for Dogs!!! We're offering you the cutest puppies for adoption! Call 1-800-NATEDOGGPUPPIES  Today and Adopt an adorable puppy to enrich your family experience!!!

Since the last Star Wars Movie sucked so hard, here's  Something 4 The Kids!!!

[Bubba Sparxxx] It's getting Ugly out here on the Ranch slash Motorcycle Parts Store called Sparxxx. We're now offering Spark Plugs for 20% OFF with Coupon Code HILLBILLY20. Call 1-800-BUBBASPARXXX ... [Asian Ad Man] Or visit www.fookyoo.local, remember, always Fook Yoo and only Fook Yoo!!! [Testimonial] I'm standing out here in the desert with my motorcycle that runs optimal thanks to a bubbasparxxx plug! [Interviewer] But then why are you standing here? [Testimonial/Hillbilly] Well, I'm out of gas...

Call 1-800-GUNSFORCHILDREN, Why you ask? Because sometimes even  Children Need To Regulate!!! Don't Expose Your Daughter to Cock,  Gift Her a Glock!!!

[Lawyer McHiggan] Hi there I'm Lawyer McHiggan, recently Doctor Redman has been in the news for Malpractice in his physicians office. Call 1-800-LAWYERHIGGAN To add yourself to the list in this class action lawsuit!!! (Here's a hint, this is just an excuse to post a Music Link )

We here at the Child Defense League have a plan to end pedophilic threats to little children who walk to school, do groceries for their parents or ride on the bus next to that weird man with a Goatee! We are legally pushing for legalization of firearms for kids from the age of five. Call 1-800-GUNSFORCHILDREN  and help support our cause!!! [Little Girl] I feel affraid when I go to school, older men look at me like I'm some kind of wrapped piece of candy. Please legalize firearms for kids, I'm in need of a Glock!!! [Expert on Parenting] You see parents allways tell you about the bad man you have to watch out for, do they give you a gun? No, they don't even give you a knife to defend for dear life! [Some Historian] Today, a man will walk up to a boy and will invite him into his van, back in the olden days the ten year old boy would be armed and the man with bad thoughts would keep his distance and say goodday young man...

[Some Doctor] Hi we here at The White Supremacy Ultimate Racist Foundation have always secretly loved the taste of chocolate milk, but could not stand the brown color. Now due to recent technological developments we are proud to introduce ULTRAWHITE Chocolate Milk made from bleached Cocoa beans. It tastes like Chocolate Milk, but is as white as Regular Cow Milk. We hope you enjoy our product, if you want to order, have any questions or concerns, you can reach us at 1-800-ULTRAWHITE !!! [Little Kid] I love ULTRAWHITE Chocolate Milk, because it's white and it has Calcium, which is also white!!!

[Da Luniz] We from Da Luniz have seen the prices of weed increase these last few years and are presenting our very own "I got Five on it" bag of weed that only costs five dollars! we only use the finest we can find on the block and you can roll about three joints with the amount of weed you're getting. Since we operate out of the Ghetto we don't pay taxes and can offer you the best price possible. Call 1-800-DALUNIZ  Now and order a Fiver today!!!

Welcome to News Today, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Welcome! People, and especially the kids, I hope you are sitting down. Chaniqua has all the details and is at the scene! [Chaniqua] Brace yourselves this is painful news and it brings tears to my eyes that we have to bring this news to the children. It's a tragedy!!! The Helper Monkey who was hit by a car and then later arrested by police and interrogated has been shot dead by police forces. [Mr Handicapp] It was a tragedy, earlier this week my helper monkey was hit by a car, started limping and the police arrested my dear beloved helper monkey and tried to interrogate him. After that I went with him to the vetenarian and had his leg casted in plaster. He was doing groceries for me early this morning, and of course had an agressive face because of all of the pain, that combined with the plastered monkey leg he seemed to be strutting like a gangster. Apparently he took the TV remmote with him out of sheer pain confusi...

[Sexy Female Announcer] I'll start from the bottom, a bottom layer of the softest bun you can imagine. Then atop of it the juiciest hamburger, with atop the secret sauce some lettuce and a slice of tomato. Then a between bun slice, atop of that another hamburger with atop tomato ketchup and three pickles. Then another in between bun layer with atop a thin slice of hamburger and a thick slice of molten cheese, with atop more lettuce and five pickles. We at McDonalds are introducing the Notorious BIG Mac!!! For within 30 Minute Drone Delivery call 1-800-MACDONALDS!!! Or visit  www.macdonalds.local !!! If perhaps the Notorious BIG Mac might not be available in your local area, please contact your local MacDonalds Restaurant manager and inform him that you would like to have this product available. We here at MacDonalds are here to serve YOU, The Customer!!!

[Some Doctor] Hi we here at The White Supremacy Ultimate Racist Foundation believe in the white race, and we want to keep it white. But alas, there is a problem in our midst. You see, when you poop often and we all do, your anus becomes a bit brown. So we are now offering ULTRAWHITE Anus Bleaching Kits with 15% OFF, Use Coupon Code WHITEASS. Call 1-800-ULTRAWHITE Now!!! You can also visit  www.ultrawhite.local !!!

[Kurupt Youngotti] Hi dear viewer, this is Kurupt Youngotti and yes I'm using my nice speaking voice this time. You see it's a hard time for us nigga's out here and y'all be needin' representation. Therefore I have founded the KURUPT Foundation that will fight government corruption. Call  1-800-KURUPT  Now and Help Support our Cause!!! [Testimonial] At first I wasn't too sure about the police handlings in our district, but thanks to The KURUPT Foundation I have found a new newfound faith in our legal system, Thank you Kurupt Youngotti!!!

[Some Professor] Bob Marley smoked so much weed his hair mutated and we here at the Sky High Marley Institute have spliced his hair with marihuana DNA and cultivated a plant that will get you extra extra extra, wait for it, extra high! Call 1-800-MARLEYKUSH  NOW and get 10% off with Coupon code GETHIGH! [Testimonial] What, uh, I'm too stoned for commentary... [Testimonial 2] Hi, I just took my first hit ever of a Marley Jay and I'm already feeling high, thank you Sky High Marley Institute... [Testimonial 3] Yeah Nigga, I got them bomb ass Marley Kush, oh wait is this a testimonial?! Let me clear my throat! This is the best shit ever, only 35.99 Moneys for a five gram bag! You can find me at the corner of Southside between five and six street between 4PM and 3AM... [Testimonial 4] Before I smoked Marley Kush I got high, real high, now with Marley Kush I get so high I'm sticking to the motherfucking ceiling, word yo!!!  For a brochure about our extensive research, visit ww...

Out Now, Warren G-Force Graphics Cards. The 7GB WGFX 2020 is the latest addition to Warren G-Force’s WGFX series of graphics card which are based on their Turing architecture. Turing features AI enhanced graphics and real time ray tracing which is intended to eventually deliver a more realistic gaming experience. The 2020 has 2020 CUDA cores and 342GB/s of GDRR6 memory bandwidth. Call 1-800-WARRENGFORCE  or visit www.warrengforce.local. You can also find this Graphics Card in your Local Computer Store!!!

Now offering the ultimate weight loss product! Biggie Smalls Weight Loss Pills, go from Biggie to Smalls within only 60 days!!! CALL 1-800-BIGGIESMALLS  to order or just to chat for a while and to get the very informative brochure we have prepared for you the customer!!! You can also visit www.biggie2smalls.local [Testimonial] I lost over 35 Pounds within 60 days, thank you Notorious BIG!!!

[50 Cent] Hi, this is 50 Cent, I be launching a marketing campaign for all y'all nigga's out there. You all know I'm in tune and kind to my fans, so my beer be extra cheap yo!!! A can will cost 50 Cent or 0.39 Moneys and $2.50 or 1.95 Moneys for a bottle. [Announcer] Call 1-800-FITTYCENT  Now and order today!!! [Testimonial] It's disgusting, but hey it's cheap and gets you drunk!

In these trying times of inflation we at the Tupac Shakur Brewery have decided to lessen the content of a 6Pack of Tupacs, presenting to you, the 2Pack. It contains 2 cans of Tupac Beer and yes it still tastes delicious!!! CALL 1-800-TUPACBEER to order via phone! [Asian Ad Woman] Or you can order online at www.fookyoo.local, you buy now! Why, because Fook Yoo!!! [Announcer] This product is also available in most liqor stores and convenience stores. Visit www.tupacbrewery.local  for a selling point in your local area! ( Free Music Video Link )

[Announcer] Welcome to Disturbed Animals, here's your favorite Host!!! [Talon] Welcome dear viewer, please do not let your children watch this episode! There's a Homocidal Crossbreed Rabbit on the loose! Chaniqua, Chaniqua, are you still there? [Chaniqua] Yeah, I'm still here and the rabbit has been contained, I repeat, the rabbit has been contained! the ranger had to shoot it ten times and had to reload once before the animal was subdued. I'm standing here with a Vetenerian who is performing an autopsy on the corpse. Sir, what can you tell us? [Doctor Dissect] Well, it seems this animal was bionically enhanced to withstand high temperatures and it's skeletal structure was enhanced with alien alloys. We seem to have a mystery at our hands Chaniqua and I don't know where to begin. [Chaniqua] That's a lot to take in, and I can take in a lot... [Talon] Hahahahaha... [Chaniqua] Shut up you! Anyway, anything else you can tell us Doctor Dissect? [Doctor Dissect]...

Don't go for oprression and the Mundane!!! Let Freedom Reign!!!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77THtzZVfW0 BONUS TRACK:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG-eT4oK9lU

[Announcer] Sleep without worries. Be restfull the next day so don't forget to order EAZY Extented Nightrest, CALL 1-800-EAZY  NOW!!! You can also visit www.eazye.local  for ordering the pills or an elaborate brochure about the benefits of EAZY EN. [EAZY E] It has Licorice Root Motherfucker, Lemon balm Motherfucker, Fennel Motherfucker, Chamomile Motherfucker, Verveine Motherfucker, Hawthorn Leaf Motherfucker, Fenugreek Motherfucker, Valerian Motherfucker, Hops Motherfucker, Sage Leaf Motherfucker and this is for the real Motherfucking G's!!!

[Talon] Thank You Dear Viewers, We here at Channel One are proud to anounce we have won the Crazy Insane Globe Award in the Category Racism!!! [Chaniqua] Hi, Yes, We are very happy to have received this award. As always, I'll be there at the scene... Though I will need some time to recover, at the event they offered free NiggaPlosions and I was up all night! [Talon] I thought we shouldn't discuss that night on... [Announcer] People, we seem to be having technical difficulties...

[Rick] You see this planet Morty, it's Zooploop Prime, It's inhabited by the Zoobloobians. The Zoobloobians fought against the Boobians... [Morty] Boobians, I like that name... [Rick] Why, its a derogatory term created by the Zoobloobians because the Boobians dont have any boobs to speak of. This time we best avoid them, we seem to be in a distorted timeline. [Morty] Oh jeez, well what are we doing here? [Rick] I'm still finding out, we stepped to a time portal and someone used a cosmic time defibrulator! [Morty] And what does that mean for us? [Rick] Well, according to the manual for the portal gun I wrote for myself we have to wait for two hours and find a place that has lots of iron ore in the ground that will function as a catalyst. [Morty] Catalyst? [Rick] Exactly. [Morty] Exactly what... [Rick] Don't you see Morty, the Iron in the ground will function like an antenna to open a time distorted portal that will allow us to return home! [Morty] That makes sense, whe...

(Click Read More For Video Format of Todays Article)  Also, Free Music Video Link!!!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CqXgs-7ico

[Rick] Jerry, Jerry? [Jerry] Yes... [Rick] You see this thing right here? [Jerry] Yes, what is it? [Rick] It's a Rob-O-Tron, it robs peoples wallets! [Jerry] What, where's my wallet? [Rick] It's here, also the wallet of Ms Schweizer, Mr Berrytone and Mr jackson. You can have yours back, but I'm keeping the others! [Jerry] What I'm going to the police, I'm calling right now... Hi police I want to report a robbery... [Rick] Yeah this is Rick, You're are in a Simulation, I was trying to find out if you would rat me out, you failed and cannot come on our next adventure. Me and morty are trying to change the world here, for the better of course, and don't need any liabilities or openings to loose ends that can bite us in the ass later... Morty? [Morty] Yeah... What are we going to do again? [Rick] Come over here morty, Jerry can't know about this! [Jerry] Hey, don't leave the room just like that, that's hurtfull. [Rick] I've been working on ...

[Jerry] Morty, Morty, you know what I have here? [Morty] What dad? *Sigh* [Jerry] Well it happens to be a photo of Jessica! Why is it here? [Morty] Dad, I have no idea but I'm in puberty and have serious needs? Besides I don't have a photo of Jessica! [Jerry] Then what is this, it's a photo of Jessica in a bathing suit at the swimming pool! [Morty] What, I don't have such a picture, I would like to have it though. [Jerry] Well you can't have it, but how on earth?? [Rick] If you're wondering how it got there, I placed it there. [Jerry] What, why? [Rick] Lately everytime I wanted to blow my nose after sniffing purple crystal coke we were out of tissues and that's all because Morty's been keeping a secret1 [Jerry] Morty, what have you been doing in your room lately? [Morty] Dad, can we talk about this some other time perhaps, Summer is also listening! [Summer] I'm not listening, I'm gloating!!! [Jerry] Beth, Beth, don't you have anything to sa...

We here at the NiGGATRONiCS Company are all about Sensitivity, Longevity, Comfortability, Practicality Affordability, And especially Equality. Fuck Diversity, Lets Bring Some Unity and wear NiGGATRONiCS!!! Call 1-800-NIGGATRONICS NOW or visit your local shoe store. If they don't have it in supply, brother testify. Just make them order a pair as soon as possible, because with NiGGA JiGGA and FiGGATRONiCS anything is possible!!  This Advertisement was sponsored by 1-800-NIGGASIUM, increase your vocabulary, put an education on your lifepaths intinerary!!!

[Maxis Jaxxon] Hi there I'm Maxis Jaxxon! Thank you for tuning in! We here at Datawars have developped the Ultimate Shampoo on Earth! It's main ingredient that comes from the butt gland of a species long thought extinct. The animal is called the Buttus Shampoous and it lives in remote rainforrests. Local inhabitants milk their butts daily and sell us the residu. I'm proud to have washed my hair with Secretion Shampoo Pro and see how my hair is just lovely today. Doctor X is here to explain the exact workings of the shampoo. [Doctor X] Well, first they cuddle the animal and then tickle it's butthole. [Maxis Jaxxon] Please Doctor X, just the shampoo! [Doctor X] Well, the anal secretion from the Buttus Shampoous will seep into your hairfibers, moisturize, revitalize it and it has this delicious smell. You see, at first the local inhabitants got attracted by the sweet aroma and only later on discovered that it had other functions. [Maxis Jaxxon] Thank you Doctor X, that w...

[Some Professor and Educational Expert] Hi, We here at the NiGGAFOUNDATION have built a school especially for nigga's, it's like a gymnasium which most rich white kids go to, but then for nigga's and nigette's. We call it the Niggasium. Call 1-800-NIGGASIUM and apply today, or just chat for a while while you order your brochure. If you wanna be educated, you have to be dedicated. The most beautiful nigette telephone operators are standing by to take your call, so call now, it's 1-800-NIGGASIUM!!! ( Correction, as per popular demand, we now also have fenale asian telephone operators!!!)

[Some Doctor] Hi, We Here At The White Supremacy Ultimate Racist Foundation have recently opened up an ULTRAWHITE Cotton Farm and Ranch! We just love black folks here at ULTRAWHITE Farm & Ranch! They're seasonal workers here who come to pick cotton. Recently however the local government has made whiplashing illegal and we're having a hard time motivating our workers. CALL 1-800-ULTRAWHITE NOW and help support our cause!!!

(Click Read More For Video)

[Jerry] Morty, Morty, what the hell is that flag doing in your room? [Morty] What this flag? [Jerry] Yes its green but it looks nazi to me... [Morty] Oh that, thats a Kekistani flag dad from the Nation of Kekistan, I've decided to become a loyal citizen of Kekistan! [Jerry] What on earth... Where the hell is this supposed Kekistan? [Morty] Everywhere you want it to be dad! [Jerry] Will you still do your homework? [Morty] Yes dad I will still do my homework! [Jerry] Did grandpa Rick put you up to this? [Morty] No dad, this is something of my generation! [Rick] What the hell, are you asking Morty if I put him up to that Kekistani bullshit. I'm offended at the mere notion. But yes, I did and am also a loyal citizen of kekistan, who wouldn't want to be? I mean you get to meme all day and don't even have to pray, hallelujah... [Jerry] What's that weird noise coming from Summer's room? [Morty] That's shadilay the Kekistan anthem, she's doing a dance vide...

[Rick] You see this? [Morty] Yes... [Rick] *Zap*... Well now youre blind Morty! [Morty] What, why the hell did you make me blind? [Rick] Well, you said you had to go pee and last night you said you could always find your way in the dark, You're in the dark now bitch a rub a dub dub... [Morty] Rick this isn't funny I really have to pee! [Rick] Then better find your way to the bathroom quick! [Jerry] Uhm... [Rick] Shut up Jerry, want me to make you blind as well? [Jerry] What?... [Rick] *ZAP* [Jerry] Hey, where did everybody go, who turned the lights out? [Rick] The lights aren't turned off you idiot, I made you blind... Morty, Morty, pee into the bowl, I can hear the splattering from here... And Jerry, please stop walking into walls. Now you might interpret this to be some form of sadism, but I have intel that predicts we will have a power outage within the next three weeks! See this as rehearsal or preparation for the inevitable! [Morty] Rick, Rick, Grandpa where are you?...

You know how the simpsons uses pop cultural references from movies in their jokes... well a meme is a re-occurring joke which popculture reference increases with every iteration... Making it expand in a way that allows it to keep being funny, even though it's being used over and over again. A meme can be a picture, text, picture with text or even a video. In the area of memology there are no exact rules and regulations, it's actually very Anarchic! To my knowledge I created my first meme in 2007, but in no way, shape or form would I dare to claim to be an authority on the matter, that would break the state of Anarchy!!! Talon being racist is a meme, the Insane Crazy Globe Award is a meme, the constant use of the word NiGGA is a meme, NiGGA JiGGA and FiGGA-TRONICS are a meme, I want every poor child in the world to feel special when they wear a no name brand shoe with NTX, JTX or FTX plastered onto it... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7yyyxVDLU4 And finally a message to...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite Host!!! [Talon] Today a young helper monkey who was hit by a car was walking with a limp and a partially broken leg, was arrested by the police who suspected he was strutting like a gangster. Chaniqua has the inside story, my dearest piece of coal, are you there? [Chaniqua] Yeah I am Talon, ain't you lookin' like Tofu today. Anyway... His owner, Mr Handicapp was hours without his helper monkey who went out to get him his breakfast. He was on the phone for hours talking to local authorities and the police about how his helper monkey sprained his ankle and was unable to walk like a normal monkey but it all fell on deaf ears. Finally he called a lawyer by dialing the number 1-800-NIGGAREPRESENT and the matter was resolved within hours... [Talon] Thank you for that amazing report Chaniqua, and there you have it people Nigga's be representin'... After these commercials an in depth interview with a local senior who...

Based on the Brittish Show Fawlty Towers we at Channel One now Present You with a Preview of Hotel Black... [Hotel Owner] The beans are Black, The Ketjap is Black, The Bread is Toasted Black, The Marmite on top of it is Black, the Pepper on the Side is Black, Your Napkin is black, the Tablecloth is Black, Your Coffee is Black, Your Coffeecup is black, that Spoon is Black. You see that tiny hole in the wall over there? [Hotel Visitor] Yes! [Hotel Owner] Well, look deep inside it! [Hotel Visitor] Okay! [Hotel Owner] You see that, the center is black! [Hotel Visitor] Is that why it's so dark in here? [Hotel Owner] No, because so many items here are Black all the light gets absorbed! You noticed the Black Pen to sign the bill? [Hotel Visitor] What Pen? [Hotel Owner] Exactly, it is so black you need NIGGAOPTICS PRO DELUXE to detect it, here, put these glasses on! [Hotel Visitor] Oh my God, Oh my God, there's a pen there and a TV Remote I did not even notice before! And is that a W...

[Some Doctor] We here at The White Supremacy Ultimate Racist Foundation have opened up a local store where we will sell White Pepper, White Milk, White Eggs, White Butter, White Coconutmilk, White Chocolate, White Detergent, White Toothpaste, White Handlotion, White one time use plastic Forks and Knives, White Drinking Cups, White Paper Notes and those teeny weeny tiny little White Mint Drops. We hope to see you at our store soon. Call 1-800-ULTRAWHITE Now and receive a free brochure listing all the White Products in our Store. We hope to see you soon!!!

We here at the NIGGATRONICS Company have developped a Limited dtition Shoe. JIGGATRONICS Limited Princess Edition is meant for little girls of all colors who want to feel like a princess... Offered for the cheapest price possible, because it's unethical to exploit young girls in any way, shape or form!!! Call 1-800-JIGGATRONICS Now and order a pair Today!!!

[Announcer] Welcome to Live News Inside Access, here's your favorite Host!!! [Talon] Well Chaniqua is at the scene as usual, and there is a black man running at high speeds, Chaniqua, Chaniqua, were you able to stop him? [Chaniqua] Yes, Talon, I have succeeded in stopping him and am about to conduct an interview. You're looking kinda active! [MC] Yeah? [Chaniqua] Well, howcome? [MC] Huh? [Chaniqua] Howcome you're so hyperactive? [MC] I drank NiggaPlosion Nigga! [Chaniqua] What is a NiggaPlosion? [MC] It's the ultimate energy drink for us black folk! [Chaniqua] Where did you buy that particular Energy Drink? [MC] What Nigga, I didn't buy it, I had two cans and they came free with my new NIGGATRONICS. Look at them shoes Nigga, look at them shoes... They be fittin' like a glove baby baby... I just want to add one last thing! Hi I'm Mack Carjackson and I was voted most likely to die by a drive by, now, thanks to NIGGATRONICS I am able to evade the incoming bulle...

(Click Read More to Read More and a Free Music Video Link) [Talon] We here at Channel One stive to bring you the best content possible, we try to be as racist, offensive, retarded, wise, intelligent, ridiculous and crazy as possible. And we've just hear we've been nominated with the Insane Crazy Globe Award with a 99% posibillity of winning!!! SJW News - It's the most offensive channel in history! ***** Liberal Inside - There's no one more racist in the world than Talon! ***** Republicanzo - It's like he hates people of any other color! ***** Leftist Perspective - If I was a Nigga I'd beat him up, wait I just said Nigga! ***** White House Report - He's a Menace To Society While Drinking Juice In The Hood! ***** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIOWxvrLQmo

[Rick] we're about to land on this paradise planet in desperate need of saving and im going to turn you into a mouse... [Morty] A mouse... [Rick] Yes a mouse... see this planet were on... [Morty] yes, its beautiful... [Rick] yes it is, yes it is, but it won't be! If you don't impregnate her right now the planet will be destroyed within 10 years... [Morty] Oh jeez this beautiful planet within 10 years... But I don't want to have sex with a mouse... [Rick] No.... not just any mouse, the Mouse Queen... According to her fellow mice she's the most beatiful female mouse in existence! [Morty] But she's a mouse! [Rick] I'll use the DNA restructuring Injection to turn you into a mouse and then use a pink laser I got from some crazy all female planet so the Queen Mouse will look like Jessica to you... You do like Jessica don't you? [Morty] Yes, I do like Jessica... [Rick] Good, you won't even notice the difference... Want to experience Jessica Mouse with big...

EAZY Extented Nightrest, CALL 1-800 EAZY NOW!!! [Testimonial] At first I couldn't sleep very well, but now thanks to EAZY E sleeping pills I sleep like a motherfucking baby, word yo!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuapp9SORA

[Announcer] Welcome to Shownews Update Inside Access, here's your host!! [Talon] There are rumours flying around that Disney is renaming the remake of Phantasia called Niggatesium to Niggatasia. This has been done in light of public outrage, because Niggatesium was considered too racist. One black person had this to say... [One Black Person] This shit right here is crazy yo, Niggatesium, Niggatesium, are these motherf****** Crazy? I watch Rick and Morty and we all know now the word Cesium. Niggatesium rhymes with Cesium. What, what, are black people radioactive, how dare you Disney, how dare you??? [Talon] There you have it people, radioactive nigga's. See you back after the commercials where we will be discussing the latest parody movie about Superman called Supergay. He wears a blue suit and gay ass red underpants on top of it, wait a minute they look exactly the same... [Announcer] We seem to be having technical difficulties and will be back after the commercial break! M...

Visit Your Local Shoe Store or Call 1-800-FIGGATRONICS to get the best leather shoes possible!!! [Snoop Dogg] Once I got into the Figgas I needed a pair of Shoes that's for rich Nigga's, I love my FIGGATRONICS!!! You know, if Biggie Smalls were alive today, he'd wear FIGGATRONICS!!! (Click Read More For Free Music Video Link) Free Music Video Link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUhRKVIjJtw

Yes, this is a RE Release from Dirty T(alon) - I Forgot my bus pass!!! Today of all days I forgot my motherfucking bus pass Worst thing of all I didn't even know what time it was So I went back home to get my bus pass and watch Walked by a cute girl and she was quite the catch ♫Today I forgot my bus pass and I don't know the time ♫Could've payed cash but that would cost more than a dime ♫Now I'm heading back home it's just a few blocks away ♫I really do hope I still can make the meetup today I walked by a girl without a bus pass she had a nice ass But I won't get far got no pass and a car with no gas She got on the bus and I have no idea where she went She looked cute but the last thing she said was get bent ♫Today I forgot my bus pass and I don't know the time ♫Could've payed cash but that would cost more than a dime ♫Now I'm heading back home it's just a few blocks away ♫I really do hope I still can make the meetup today The...

[Soundbite] Son, Son, You see that man over there? No Daddy, what man? Wait, wait for it, there, he now is exiting a shadow. That's a black person Son! Daddy, what is a black person? I'm not sure, but if the Pamphlets are correct we are in grave danger if we go near him!!! The Pamphlet clearly states that the ones who can hide in the shadows carry firearms and that we should not approach or otherwise we'd have to break ourselves like fools!!!  [Some Doctor] Hi there, We Here at the White Supremacy Ultimate Racist Foundation try to as Racist as Possible. We urge you to call 1-800-ULTRAWHITE and order the brochure today!!!

Now Available For Black Females Who Love To Dance, JIGGATRONICS!!! We here at NIGGATRONICS know you lovely beautiful black girls and ladies love to dance. So especially for you we have developped JIGGATRONICS. Call 1-800-JIGGATRONICS and order a pair today!!! (Click More For Free Music Video Link) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrlA-53L4Xk