Talon's Humor

You don't even wanna try, crowbars gonna pry This rap is about my brother Kai, so don't even try My glock is fully loaded with hollowpoints, gonna smoke some joints Yeah my surfin life savin bro is on death row, you won't believe the fit imma gonna throw ♫ If you fuck with Kai we gonna fuck you up ♪ Punch and kick so hard you gonna throw up ♫ It's time to make a change ♪ Don't let a hero beg for change This is me Rupert rappin right meow I'm gonna save Kai someway somehow If need be I'll be rappin till the end of days When my patience is up Rupert no longer plays ♫ If you fuck with Kai we gonna fuck you up ♪ Punch and kick so hard you gonna throw up ♫ It's time to make a change ♪ Don't let a hero beg for change He is a soul of light, So I'm not giving up without a fight Yes he might seem a bit confused at times But that's cuz his hairdo is facing hard times This was Rupert being raw and real Yeah I'm a cat looking ...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] What was first thought off as a chemical attack later turned out to be a smelly fart, police rushed to the scene and could still smell the whif of it. [Chaniqua] Hey Talon, I'm on the scene as always. I'm standing here with a police officer at our local airport. The police described it as an unsettling smell carried by waves of eternal horrors... Police are still on the lookout for the suspect, because no one should be able to get away with such a smelly fart... [Police Officer] Yes Ma'am we're still patrolling the area, the gasmasks are no longer necessary since ten minutes ago. We are hoping for another fart so we can localize the threat more easily and it limits the search area. The suspect in question is suspected to be medium overweight and on a diet of garlic, beans and onions. [Chaniqua] Thank you officer for that update! Talon, back to you! [Talon] As always great reporting from our swe...

[Anouncer] Welcome! This is a collaboration episode for SDIA, Special Documentary Inside Access in collaboration with Disturbed Animals. [Disclaimer] Viewer discretion is advised! [Talon] Hi, I'm Talon, you might remember me from the news or the SDIA episode where Jimmy was hospitalized. See today we are introducing jimmy into a new enviroment. As an experiment we introduced a baby cow into a family of hyenas, you see the hyena mother just gave birth and was taking care of her cubs. Now two years later this cow is bloodthirsty and a full member of the pack. Jimmy, you see those hyenas and the obvious cow over there? [Jimmy] Yes mister. [Talon] Well, here's some grass, now get out of the jeep and offer the cow some grass... *Jimmy gets out of the jeep* [Jimmy] Are you sure it's safe mister? [Talon] Only time will tell Jimmy, only time will tell. Hey well apparently a few seconds equals time. The cow started growling and is now chasing Jimmy down the canyon. I'd better dr...

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After a week without Internet I'm finally back! *Rupert and Caitlyn are watching TV* [Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Welcome to News Today, this week is the week of mobile entrepreneurship. Do expect different vendors to visit your local area. Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Hi people, yes this is the week where young entrepreneurs will dedicate themselves to start a new business subsidized by the local government as an capitalistic experiment. [Talon] Thank you for the addition to my own presentation, now we switch to a reportage about the Yeti. Is it white? Is it real? What's the deal? *music in the street interrupts* ♫ "I woke up this morning and then I got high... Then I... ♪ [Rupert] Hey, that's the weedtruck. [Cailtyn] Weedtruck? [Rupert] Yeah it's a new thing meow. It's like a icecream truck, but instead it delivers weed. [Caitlyn] I know you're enthousiastic Rupert, but you don't have to run outside!! [Weed ...

[Announcer] Welcome to The Travel Show, this time we are in The Netherlands. Here's your host! [Talon] Hi, I will be doing the talking today since I'm from Dutch Heritage! We dutch have curse words about regular things that use genital parts... But especially about the weather we have words that contain infectious diseases. Like no other language on earth do the Dutch use body parts, animal names, diseases and body parts to describe certain situations, it's like a national sport. You might call us barbaric, but don't do that, the Dutch people will insult you with a combination of genitals and infectious diseases and might even add some animal names. We will continue this in depth story after the commercials... [Announcer] Hallo, Am I pronouncing this right? ...Hallo Nederland heeft strand en verscheidene hotels, wij heten u welkom! What the hell did I just say???

Don't let age bother you! When you socialize with your peers, people of equal age, you add nothing. When you socialize with elders and the youth you're able to bring knowledge from the elders to the youth while learning and cultivating yourself at the same time... ~Talon 2019 AD