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Talon's Humor

Humor comedy Impressions Impressive, see there's the word I was seeking... (Addendum: 151 Posts as of now, all original, trying to be funny, content, no repetition whatsoever, if and or when you do see it, please contact me as I'm trying to be original as fuck)

Phatfobia is real...

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November 03, 2022

Fatphobia is real, I suffer from it, it's the fear of being squished in the bedroom by someone who is obese!!!

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Newsaholic Episode 10.5 - Ruperts visit to the Psychiatrist [101819-02]

October 18, 2019

[Psychiatrist] And... how did you sleep last night? [Rupert] It was an endless series of nightmares, every time I fell asleep ALF tried to eat me. You know that early nineties or late eighties show called ALF. Well ALF stands for Alien Life Force and that fucking show puppet tried to eat me all night, every time I fell asleep he started chasing me. Apparently he caught the cat from the show and is hungry for more, I couldn't even close my eyes at some points. [Psychiatrist] What do you think it means? [Rupert] What do I think it means, I think it means I shouldn't re download old episodes of ALF and binge watch them till I'm so immersed I can no longer distinguish reality from fiction. Hey wait a minute, these revelations are supposed to be comming from you, why the hell am I paying you? This was my last session, here's the cash and Rupert OUT... *Drops Microphone* [Psychiatrist] Why the hell did you bring a microphone to my office? [Rupert] So I could drop it, Bee aii ...

Rick and Morty S??E?? - Morty And The Queen Mouse!!! - Hidden Content V

December 20, 2019

[Rick] we're about to land on this paradise planet in desperate need of saving and im going to turn you into a mouse... [Morty] A mouse... [Rick] Yes a mouse... see this planet were on... [Morty] yes, its beautiful... [Rick] yes it is, yes it is, but it won't be! If you don't impregnate her right now the planet will be destroyed within 10 years... [Morty] Oh jeez this beautiful planet within 10 years... But I don't want to have sex with a mouse... [Rick] No.... not just any mouse, the Mouse Queen... According to her fellow mice she's the most beatiful female mouse in existence! [Morty] But she's a mouse! [Rick] I'll use the DNA restructuring Injection to turn you into a mouse and then use a pink laser I got from some crazy all female planet so the Queen Mouse will look like Jessica to you... You do like Jessica don't you? [Morty] Yes, I do like Jessica... [Rick] Good, you won't even notice the difference... Want to experience Jessica Mouse with big...