Humor comedy Impressions Impressive, see there's the word I was seeking... (Addendum: 151 Posts as of now, all original, trying to be funny, content, no repetition whatsoever, if and or when you do see it, please contact me as I'm trying to be original as fuck)
Is this Joe???
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Two o' clock, I hereby present my [Redacted]! And I go around the block with my [Redacted]
[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Hi there and welcome to the news.Today a man once recognized as a madman, has won the Nobel Prize in the area of Math. Chaniqua has the inside story, my dear chocolate delight? [Chaniqua] Hey there Chalky. This is a special story with a good ending for all those involved. Apparently he was once committed to a mental hospital spouting endless numbers, now it is clear he was counting and pronouncing the number that solves all mathmetical problems to date. This once perceived lunatic is now seen as the greatest mathematician as all time. Unfortunately he is also deaf and mute so no interview could be conducted. [Talon] Thank you Chaniqua! Some people won't shut up, others refuse to talk, what a world we live in. After these commercials we will delve into the mating habits of chimpansees... [Announcer] Mother too loud, Father uses violence, Sister talks too much??? Call 1-800-LOCKEMUP, commit your family membe...
[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, here's your host!! [Top Host]Today we are doing phonecalls, get me caller number one... [Top Host]Welcome Caller [Caller] Yeah hi, thank you for having me I also try to do my part in this DataWar. [Top Host] Thank you, go ahead... [Caller] I do believe in evolution but I'm affraid Satan is helping the musquito's, I mean that irritating noise they make just when you're lying in your bed all cosy trying to get some sleep. [Top Host] They are nature's vaccinators, and I agree caller, they have evolved making that noise just to F*** with us. It's uncanny how irritating they sound!!! [Caller] Thank you, thank you, my deaf grandma says they sound like Beethoven. Finally someone understands!!! [Top Host] Thank you caller, we'll be back after the commercials...
[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your top host!!! [Talon] Today a traffic jam occurred after several cows escaped from their meadow and walked onto the interstate freeway... Some chocolate company painted them lila which confused drivers even further. There were more 1-800-EMERGENCY calls for help with confusion than there were actual car crashes. Chaniqua is as always on the scene, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Thank you Talon, I'm here at the site. Here's Harry who collided with a cow. [Harry] Oh man, Chaniqua, I'm so confused, this one moment I was driving on the interstate, the next there was a lila cow on the hood of my car and I was lucky enough my airbags worked. [Chaniqua] Sounds terrifying, you have anything to add? [Harry] Yes, please call an ambulance I think I have broken or bruised several bodyparts... [Talon] There you have it people, broken and bruised bodyparts. Next up, a toddler broke into Area 51 and stole a UFO and is currently hovering over intern...
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