Humor comedy Impressions Impressive, see there's the word I was seeking... (Addendum: 151 Posts as of now, all original, trying to be funny, content, no repetition whatsoever, if and or when you do see it, please contact me as I'm trying to be original as fuck)
JEWS... Episode 1
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Weet je, ik weet wat het is om je Joods te voelen, zin in een bagel en de rest van de samenleving haat je...
[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Welcome people, do we have a story for you tonight, Chaniqua is on the scene in our local forrest. Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Welcome here in our local forrest where a stranger than fiction story took place. What was first thought to be an inactive terminator has now been designated as a human corpse with 2 prostethic legs and one prosthetic arm. The local forrest ranger had the following to say. [Forrest Ranger] I swear, it looked like a terminator. The many mechanical components led to the belief we were dealing with a terminator instead of a human with prostethics. The fact that all his prostethics were chrome coated and he was lying naked wearing a leather jacket and holding a shotgun. So you see Chaniqua why it was easy for to determine we were dealing with a human corpse. [Chaniqua] Has the man been identified yet? [Forrest Ranger] Not yet, but there aren't too many people with 2 prostethic legs and a pro...
[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your top host!!! [Talon] Today a traffic jam occurred after several cows escaped from their meadow and walked onto the interstate freeway... Some chocolate company painted them lila which confused drivers even further. There were more 1-800-EMERGENCY calls for help with confusion than there were actual car crashes. Chaniqua is as always on the scene, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Thank you Talon, I'm here at the site. Here's Harry who collided with a cow. [Harry] Oh man, Chaniqua, I'm so confused, this one moment I was driving on the interstate, the next there was a lila cow on the hood of my car and I was lucky enough my airbags worked. [Chaniqua] Sounds terrifying, you have anything to add? [Harry] Yes, please call an ambulance I think I have broken or bruised several bodyparts... [Talon] There you have it people, broken and bruised bodyparts. Next up, a toddler broke into Area 51 and stole a UFO and is currently hovering over intern...
[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, here's your top host! [Maxis Jaxxon] Have you ever eaten an apple and truly looked at it? It's curves and texture. And don't disregard the taste... Apples are green people, get used to it. You know what's also green? Grass! And I don't mean weed, I mean actual grass where people play soccer on. Have you ever seen a soccer ball, it's round people, don't you friggin get it, a ball is round. This is truly an artifcial assertation! My great grandma told me soccerballs are oval, she said God came to her in a dream and said soccerballs are oval, true story. Off course those who disagree call oval soccerballs rugbyballs, but you don't even want to go into a discussion with those morons, everyone know that soccerballs are oval. Yes people, I'm taking an unpopular stance, please bear with me, I will be back after the commercials where I sell you stuff you don't need... [Maxis Jaxxon] Seeing people stressed bothers ...
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