Humor comedy Impressions Impressive, see there's the word I was seeking... (Addendum: 151 Posts as of now, all original, trying to be funny, content, no repetition whatsoever, if and or when you do see it, please contact me as I'm trying to be original as fuck)
Poliitie Nederland en Explosieven...
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112... Hallo 112 kunnen jullie de explosieven dienst mijn kant op sturen met bewijsmateriaal, ik probeer een gebouw op te blazen!!!
[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Today a confused priest was arrested by the police, he ran through the streets of our local city screaming the power of Christ compels you. [Chaniqua] Hi everyone I'm here at the victim support center surrounded by crying children. They simply weren't mentally prepared for a screaming lunatic. Even when the police was at the scene the priest started sprinkling holy water on the police officers. It was then that they decided that this man needed to be interrogated for further study into the paranormal. You see it wasn't the regular police but some off branch that nobody knows off who quickly took over the investigation. [Talon] Amazing reporting Chaniqua, as always. People, now I will have your attention for the following, chipmunks in heat... [Soundbite] Not wantzing to changze ze past, is a reluctanze to changze in ze prezent! [Announcer] Tonight on SDIA Special Documentary Inside Access, Timetr...
[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your top host!!! [Talon] Today a traffic jam occurred after several cows escaped from their meadow and walked onto the interstate freeway... Some chocolate company painted them lila which confused drivers even further. There were more 1-800-EMERGENCY calls for help with confusion than there were actual car crashes. Chaniqua is as always on the scene, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Thank you Talon, I'm here at the site. Here's Harry who collided with a cow. [Harry] Oh man, Chaniqua, I'm so confused, this one moment I was driving on the interstate, the next there was a lila cow on the hood of my car and I was lucky enough my airbags worked. [Chaniqua] Sounds terrifying, you have anything to add? [Harry] Yes, please call an ambulance I think I have broken or bruised several bodyparts... [Talon] There you have it people, broken and bruised bodyparts. Next up, a toddler broke into Area 51 and stole a UFO and is currently hovering over intern...
[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, here's your host!! [Maxis Jaxxon] Welcome to the show, yesterday when I drove to work I saw a chipmunk and it reminded me how the small things in life really matter. And then this morning, when I had bacon and eggs I realised we all need to reconnect with nature. You see, the eggyolk represents the sun. And the egg whites represents white clouds. And we all know what the bacon mean don't we fellow Datawarriors. You see, the government does not wat you to know about the bacon, it's their best kept secret. Listen to me, I need you to understand, this knowledge about the bacon needs to be passed on to your children and grandchildren... You see it's all about the bacon. All this talking about food is making me hungry, we'll do a commercial break. We shall do a poll in the meantime, what does the bacon mean to you? [Announcer] We will be back after these commercials...
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