[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, here's your top host! [Maxis Jaxxon] Have you ever eaten an apple and truly looked at it? It's curves and texture. And don't disregard the taste... Apples are green people, get used to it. You know what's also green? Grass! And I don't mean weed, I mean actual grass where people play soccer on. Have you ever seen a soccer ball, it's round people, don't you friggin get it, a ball is round. This is truly an artifcial assertation! My great grandma told me soccerballs are oval, she said God came to her in a dream and said soccerballs are oval, true story. Off course those who disagree call oval soccerballs rugbyballs, but you don't even want to go into a discussion with those morons, everyone know that soccerballs are oval. Yes people, I'm taking an unpopular stance, please bear with me, I will be back after the commercials where I sell you stuff you don't need... [Maxis Jaxxon] Seeing people stressed bothers ...
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