Humor comedy Impressions Impressive, see there's the word I was seeking... (Addendum: 151 Posts as of now, all original, trying to be funny, content, no repetition whatsoever, if and or when you do see it, please contact me as I'm trying to be original as fuck)
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Have you ever seen a penis? What?? I said, have you ever seen a penis??? What???? Say what one more time and I will fucking put bullets into your brain and I have 8 in the clip!!!
[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your top host!!! [Talon] Today a traffic jam occurred after several cows escaped from their meadow and walked onto the interstate freeway... Some chocolate company painted them lila which confused drivers even further. There were more 1-800-EMERGENCY calls for help with confusion than there were actual car crashes. Chaniqua is as always on the scene, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Thank you Talon, I'm here at the site. Here's Harry who collided with a cow. [Harry] Oh man, Chaniqua, I'm so confused, this one moment I was driving on the interstate, the next there was a lila cow on the hood of my car and I was lucky enough my airbags worked. [Chaniqua] Sounds terrifying, you have anything to add? [Harry] Yes, please call an ambulance I think I have broken or bruised several bodyparts... [Talon] There you have it people, broken and bruised bodyparts. Next up, a toddler broke into Area 51 and stole a UFO and is currently hovering over intern...
[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Today a confused priest was arrested by the police, he ran through the streets of our local city screaming the power of Christ compels you. [Chaniqua] Hi everyone I'm here at the victim support center surrounded by crying children. They simply weren't mentally prepared for a screaming lunatic. Even when the police was at the scene the priest started sprinkling holy water on the police officers. It was then that they decided that this man needed to be interrogated for further study into the paranormal. You see it wasn't the regular police but some off branch that nobody knows off who quickly took over the investigation. [Talon] Amazing reporting Chaniqua, as always. People, now I will have your attention for the following, chipmunks in heat... [Soundbite] Not wantzing to changze ze past, is a reluctanze to changze in ze prezent! [Announcer] Tonight on SDIA Special Documentary Inside Access, Timetr...
[Doctor Hospital] Tonight I will be operating on a Hamster, with a knife and fork. [Sexy Female Voice] Come to McHamsters now and enjoy the delicous Doctor Hospital Special Hamster Combo and enjoy the ultimate in Hamster delight. [Doctor Hospital] These Hamsters form the basis of a healthy diet. I'm not just saying that because my name is Doctor Hospital, I'm saying this because I am a Doctor and I work at a Hospital!!! [Announcer] Call 1-800-MCHAMSTERS or order online at www.mchamsters.local. [Doctor Hospital] We strive to bring the best to our customers on a daily basis, even during shortage we will supply cause we have them in cryogenic stasis. Be sure to make an account and reserve future Hamster production. [Announcer] This commercial was created in collaboration with Channel One. [Sexy Female Voice] Hmmm, honey glazed Hamsters [Announcer] Don't forget the crunchy or honey glazed Hamsters... *crunch* [Disclaimer] Warning, 9 out of 10 Doctors do not agree with Doctor Ho...
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