Humor comedy Impressions Impressive, see there's the word I was seeking... (Addendum: 151 Posts as of now, all original, trying to be funny, content, no repetition whatsoever, if and or when you do see it, please contact me as I'm trying to be original as fuck)
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Zegt de illegale immigrant tegen de Politie Agent, help mij, help mij Poltie Agent, Zegt de Politie Agent fuck jou jij fucking klootzak, ik heb gisteren nog je moeder geneukt!!!
[Doctor Hospital] Tonight I will be operating on a Hamster, with a knife and fork. [Sexy Female Voice] Come to McHamsters now and enjoy the delicous Doctor Hospital Special Hamster Combo and enjoy the ultimate in Hamster delight. [Doctor Hospital] These Hamsters form the basis of a healthy diet. I'm not just saying that because my name is Doctor Hospital, I'm saying this because I am a Doctor and I work at a Hospital!!! [Announcer] Call 1-800-MCHAMSTERS or order online at www.mchamsters.local. [Doctor Hospital] We strive to bring the best to our customers on a daily basis, even during shortage we will supply cause we have them in cryogenic stasis. Be sure to make an account and reserve future Hamster production. [Announcer] This commercial was created in collaboration with Channel One. [Sexy Female Voice] Hmmm, honey glazed Hamsters [Announcer] Don't forget the crunchy or honey glazed Hamsters... *crunch* [Disclaimer] Warning, 9 out of 10 Doctors do not agree with Doctor Ho...
[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your top host!!! [Talon] Today a traffic jam occurred after several cows escaped from their meadow and walked onto the interstate freeway... Some chocolate company painted them lila which confused drivers even further. There were more 1-800-EMERGENCY calls for help with confusion than there were actual car crashes. Chaniqua is as always on the scene, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Thank you Talon, I'm here at the site. Here's Harry who collided with a cow. [Harry] Oh man, Chaniqua, I'm so confused, this one moment I was driving on the interstate, the next there was a lila cow on the hood of my car and I was lucky enough my airbags worked. [Chaniqua] Sounds terrifying, you have anything to add? [Harry] Yes, please call an ambulance I think I have broken or bruised several bodyparts... [Talon] There you have it people, broken and bruised bodyparts. Next up, a toddler broke into Area 51 and stole a UFO and is currently hovering over intern...
[Announcer] Welcome to News Live Today, here's your Top Host!! [Talon] Hi everybody, welcome to our new show NLT News Live Today. We were not able to put this in our regular programming so here we are. Chaniqua, Chaniqua?? Chaniqua here live at the mall, oh he's so cute. Young boy, young boy... Are you here for the Summer Festival as well? [Kid] I have a bugger in my nose and there's snot on my shirt... [Talon] Seems someone needs a hankechief or a napkin of the sorts... [Chaniqua] Goddammit, here kid... [Kid] Thank you mam... [Chaniqua] The hell, he runs off not even an interview. [Talon] Well it was one, although gooey, sticky and short. [Chaniqua] Miss, miss, can I interview you? [Trangsgender Male] Did you just say Miss? Get me the manager!!! [Chaniqua] Sure miss! [Transgender Male] Did you just say Miss again, say Miss again and I'll show you Miss. [Chaniqua] Bitch do you wanna throw down??? *Chaniqua drops the microphone* [Talon] People, we seem to be having techn...
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