Jumanji The Next Level - Dwayne The Rock Johnson III

Dwayne The Rock Johnson is so primate, his ancestors didn't need to invent the technology of fire. They just gazed at a log of wood and it caught fire... Have you ever asked yourself the question which Terminator model Dwayne The Rock Johnson would be in a Terminator movie? I bet it's the T20,000BC... He doesn't need a vacuum cleaner, he just punches vacuum holes into the air... Have you ever seen Dwayne The Rock Johnson hug an animal? Me neither, probably because they're scared of strangulation... I mean, if I were a four legged animal and he'd look at me with his gaze I'd immediately would feel like a piece of meat ready to be roasted and then consumed whole... To us humans his Prodent Smile looks endearing, to animals it's a sign of agression... I'm beginning to form a theory, I'm beginning to think that he's bald so he's more aerodynamic so he can hunt prey faster! Please don't kill me! (Written by Rob van Loon 121319)

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