Humor comedy Impressions Impressive, see there's the word I was seeking... (Addendum: 151 Posts as of now, all original, trying to be funny, content, no repetition whatsoever, if and or when you do see it, please contact me as I'm trying to be original as fuck)
Opinion Now - Hermafrodites [111619-0A]
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[Announcer] Welcome to Opinion Now, here's your host! [Talon] Today we are tackling a difficult subject. In the studio we have a man, or is it a woman. He or she has both bodyparts. The floor is all yours. [Hermafrodyte] Hi, I'm a hermafrodyte and I have both a penis and a vagina. With all these mental diseases like transgendering and homosexuality around the populace at large forgets about my demographic. It is time for us to unite and put those retarded concepts of non binary behind us. When the election comes, choose with your heart as well as your brain. We hermafrodytes are a marginalized part of the community and it's time our voices were also heard... [Talon] Voices heard and they hoped they were deaf, tune in next week when we interview an insane person. Now you might ask yourself the question, aren't they always insane. And yes, but next weeks interviewee is extra insane...
;This bit was in honor of The Emperor of Trolling!!! ;Sorry doing a lot of dutch humor, will switch between languages more frequently
[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your top host!!! [Talon] Today a traffic jam occurred after several cows escaped from their meadow and walked onto the interstate freeway... Some chocolate company painted them lila which confused drivers even further. There were more 1-800-EMERGENCY calls for help with confusion than there were actual car crashes. Chaniqua is as always on the scene, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Thank you Talon, I'm here at the site. Here's Harry who collided with a cow. [Harry] Oh man, Chaniqua, I'm so confused, this one moment I was driving on the interstate, the next there was a lila cow on the hood of my car and I was lucky enough my airbags worked. [Chaniqua] Sounds terrifying, you have anything to add? [Harry] Yes, please call an ambulance I think I have broken or bruised several bodyparts... [Talon] There you have it people, broken and bruised bodyparts. Next up, a toddler broke into Area 51 and stole a UFO and is currently hovering over intern...
[Doctor Hospital] Tonight I will be operating on a Hamster, with a knife and fork. [Sexy Female Voice] Come to McHamsters now and enjoy the delicous Doctor Hospital Special Hamster Combo and enjoy the ultimate in Hamster delight. [Doctor Hospital] These Hamsters form the basis of a healthy diet. I'm not just saying that because my name is Doctor Hospital, I'm saying this because I am a Doctor and I work at a Hospital!!! [Announcer] Call 1-800-MCHAMSTERS or order online at www.mchamsters.local. [Doctor Hospital] We strive to bring the best to our customers on a daily basis, even during shortage we will supply cause we have them in cryogenic stasis. Be sure to make an account and reserve future Hamster production. [Announcer] This commercial was created in collaboration with Channel One. [Sexy Female Voice] Hmmm, honey glazed Hamsters [Announcer] Don't forget the crunchy or honey glazed Hamsters... *crunch* [Disclaimer] Warning, 9 out of 10 Doctors do not agree with Doctor Ho...
[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, here's your host!! [Maxis Jaxxon] This is Maxis Jaxxon from the Datawar representing Conspiracy Now to the fullest. This story requires your full attention, if you can sit down... I went to the bathroom this moring to pee and my pee was yellow people, yellow, don't you onderstand, my pee was yellow. The government likes you to believe it's otherwise but don't be fooled my fellow patriots. We all know the color and what it means. But seriously, what does it mean, have you ever thought about what it means, and I mean really thought about it. We all act like it's normal, but we, the Datawarriors know better. We know that pee is yellow, I want you to open your window, stick your head outside and scream PEE IS YELLOW... This news has to be delivered to every man, woman and child. It's truly earth shattering news, I mean, who would have thought that pee is yellow. Even in my wildest dreams I couldn't picture it. Okay, we'...
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