News Tonight - Rooster King Update [110319-0D] [110419-Revision]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight Extra Update, here's your host! [Talon] Well it seems it will take another two months for the Rooster King to emerge, we have seen test flights with ASRAAM's and Hellfire's. But it will take some time before this event will unfold!

[Jack] I'm getting hungry, this all makes me wanna go for some drum sticks! [Rupert] Please order from www.honestchicken.local, those battery chickens are the cause of the coming turmoil! [Caitlyn] Coming turmoil, what do you mean Ruup? [Rupert] Well, lets just say I have inside information. [Mark] You always say that, even when you're getting something from the fridge!! [Rupert] No seriously, it seems the chickens are getting fed up being put into tiny cages and are preparing an offensive...

[Chicken Alpha] This is Chicken Alpha sending out a message, you will suffer our wrath's rages, for putting our pkok in cages!!! Upon our dying breath, we swear we'll put you to death.... [Government Officer] Make sure this recording never reaches the public and destroy it at once!!!

*Addon*, Secret Stuff Marked For Your Eyes Only... The Space Faring Chickens did not crash with the cows if you remember... They are arriving at their new homeplanet called Chickonia and are supposedly preparing an invasion of earth to rescue all the battery chickens. Remember, do not talk to anyone about this, this invasion might happen in 6 years or it could be next spring. We don't have enough research data to determine the exact timeline.

[Maxis Jaxxon] Hi, this is Maxis Jaxxon and I'm offering you six months of salty crackers for only 10.99 Moneys a month, order now at the Datawar Store!!!

*Super Secret Recording of a Trans Male about to enter Battle Cage Fighting Royale*: Have you ever seen a trans person, a midget or a obese person get into a fight with a T Rex, well me neither, but here we are... pitting Obese people, Trans people and Midgets against each other in one huge inhumane festivity of battle cage fighting royale. 40 Misfortunates will enter and only one will survive. Vote during the commercials for your favorite contestant. Peter Dinklage chickened out claiming he has another movie deal, while It is Ma'am is fired up and ready to go. Most bets are on him, I mean her... What did you just say, did you just call me sir? I said did you just call me sir? Call me Sir again and I'll show you Sir!!! (I might re use this one)

[Announcer] Tonight on Channel One, an Irish relative of Talon is doing a documentary in Africa! [Irishman visiting an African Tribe] Those aren't breasts, they're a sad excuse for hanging bags. Every step you take they bounce against your ankle. Go take that female pride of yours and cover yourself up before you traumatize anyone else...

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