For your eyes only - TOP SECRET [111019-0C] (0C the C stands for Chicken)

[Soundbite] Rooster Prince, this is Chicken Alpha, I have news from Chicken Beta. The Colony has been established at Chickonia. We expect reinforcements within 6 months apparently time moves faster on our new home planet. The invasion of earth to deliberately free the battery chickens on earth is progressing at an unprecedented speed. One more month and you will be crowned king, many chickens with Sidewinders, Hellfires and ASRAAMs are standing by as we speak, wait for the pivotal moment in chicken history when we will finally free the battery factory chickens...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Live, here's your host! [Talon] We now are getting reports that the chickens are in posession of a Kinzhal Missile, people, if you care about the human race... Buy chicken meat today an consecutively for the coming three months. We have to lower their population, this is getting out of hand!!! Chaniqua is at the scene, or rather at a local chicken farm. Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Sssst, I don't want them to know I'm here. [Talon] Who, the chickens or the farmer? [Chaniqua] The farmer, I poured gasoline on the chickens and am about to lit a match... [Talon] Abort, abort, those aren't the chickens that caused the problem, are you insane? Please get the hell out of there. Sorry viewers, we'll have to cut this one short, I don't want a lawsuit...

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