Special Documentary Inside Access - Parachute Safety [091920-01]

[Announcer] Welcome to SDIA, Special Documentary Inside Access. Here's your top host!! [Talon] Hi, I'm Talon, you might remember me from other SDIA episodes or even the evening news. This is Jimmy, our intern. [Jimmy] Hi Mister. [Talon] Hey Jimmy, so glad you're back from the hospital. See this heavy backpack Jimmy? [Jimmy] Speak a little louder sir we're in an airplane. [Talon] Jimmy, recognize this backpack, you and me are gonna wear one. But I do have some bad news, there's a risk to your backpack, but I will get into that after we've jumped. [Pilot] Okay skydivers, we're at the dropzone, please jump now, jump, jump, jump. [Talon] This is Talon mid air, you might remember me from before the commercials or even News Live, anyway, you see Jimmy Skydiving over there... Yes people there will be a lot of diving... [Jimmy] Mister, mister, I have pulled the second cord but nothing happened... [Talon] Ain't that beautiful people, Jimmy is actually skydiving with no end. Hey wait a minute, Jimmy, Jimmy pull the cord, pull the second cord!!! Nothing happens??? Jimmy aim for the hay barn, aim for the barn. Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Yes I'm here on the ground racing towards the barn, I can already hear him screaming out of sheer pain. People, let this be a lesson to you, always triple or quadruple check your gear. [Talon] Wonderfully spoken Chaniqua, and now we switch to the farmer who's barn has been demolished. After that cows who ponder the reason for existence, their main argument being moo...

[Announcer] Have you ever tried Blackberry Soda? Try it now and get a Hamster Burger for free at McHamsters. Call 1-800-McHamsters or visit www.mchamsters.local. [Asian AD Man] You buy now, you also order at www.fookyoo.local. Remember, always Fook Yoo!!

[PSA Voice] This is a public service announcement, if you have anything to spare, please donate to 1-800-SAVEJIMMY, you see Jimmy has again suffered major injuries and needs your help. [Talon] This is Talon, you might remember me from the episode aired just now and do I have a message for you, we need funds to let Jimmy recover once more. We love the little guy and would love to feature him in future SDIA episodes... [Female PSA Voice] Donate now, secure tomorrow!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MCB 2019 Announcement!!! [103019-0E]

[Announcer] This Saturday, save the date, do not go out to dinner, don't talk to your family... Yes, yes you're thinking what I'm thinking, throw away everything else and sit in front of the TV at twenty hundred hours, because it's the yearly event we have all been waiting for. 30 Comedians, One hour, containing the most offensive jokes in history. This years host of MCB Mega Comedy Blast will be our channels favorite host, Talon. [Talon] Hi, I'm Talon and this year I will be hosting MGC, and I promise you it will be the most offensive event in history... [Announcer] This saturday at eight, don't miss it!!! (When the Olympics happened I wasn't able to come online so I had to forfeit that effort, fingers crossed!!)
Read more

Most offensive post of the day - Lootboxes [102819-01]

What do you call a store who's cameras aren't equipped with nigga optics? A lootbox! [Marjory] Rupert, how can you say such a thing, that's racist and offensive... [Rupert] I'm sorry Marjory, but it had to be said... But I do have one thing to add, why did the looters leave all the black sneakers behind and only went for the white sneakers? That's because you can see dirt on white sneakers more easily and we all know these people like to get offended... [Marjory] Like to, or are? [Rupert] Both! If this was too offensive for you, please call 1-800-IDONTCARE right now and receive 15% off of your next telephone bill, because we all know you like to whine endlessly... [Disclaimer Voice] Hi dear viewer, every expression and opinion made by this company does not reflect the company. Edit/Addon/Etc Lootboxes should be renamed, I mean gamers nowadays act like a bunch of cheap whores. Lootboxes should be called Pimpbribes instead you know, to reflect it's actual ef...
Read more

Opinion Today - Looking intelligent while wearing glasses [101719-02]

[Announcer] Welcome to Opinion Today, here's your host! [Top Host] Hi, and welcome to the first episode of Opinion Today where one guest gets five minutes to explain their viewpoint. Why do people wearing glasses look more intelligent than they actually are? [Unknown Expert] You see, in medieval times where glasses probably were introduced barely anyone could read. This remained so for centuries without change, so it's engrained into our societal perspectives that those who wear glasses have the ability to read. Back in those times if you wore glasses it was obvious you had an education and could write and read, thus proving you are more intelligent than the person next to you. Whether this is due to collective perception or cultural perception is up for debate, but no one can deny that we have the perspective that glasses make you look educated and intelligent. That's all I have to say about this matter right meow. [Top Host] Thank you "Unknown Expert"... We will...
Read more