News Tonight - Major visits the hospital [091319-03]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Welcome and greetings to you this evening, something regarding our major has occured and Chaniqua has all the details... [Chaniqua] Well apparently today our local major has been saved by a gunshot to the chest... See, his arteries were clottering and his main artery was about to erupt when a deranged illegal immigrant armed with a sawed off shotgun fired at the major in a pit of rage. The "immigrant" was shot by the police and is also in intensive care. This might all sound like bad news, but the good news is, is that the major went to the hospital. He already had ignored several checkups and his cholresterol values were way too high. It was at the Hospital where Doctor Hospital discovered that his arteries were almost fully clogged up. The major is recuperating and is receiving all the treatment our local hospital can bring. The doctor had the following statement...[Doctor Hospital] No, no, this will not be in our weekly show, our major is a sign of strength and we have to keep up that public perception. [Talon] Well, there you have it people, major shot, but OK. After the commercials we will delve into the complicated life of an autistic termite that is unable to cope with it's current existence...

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