News Today - Cucumbers [092819-03]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Good afternoon and welcome dear viewer, today we have a story regarding vegetables, Chaniqua has the inside scoop! [Chaniqua] Apparently someone has used vegetables as a weapon, I'm standing here with a survivor of the assault. [Survivor] Yeah I was just standing here minding my own business, then this white dude approached us and started beating people with an oversized cucumber screaming feel the wrath of genetic engineering. All in all it was a bizarre experience, first of all I've never seen a cucumber this big and second of all. Have you ever seen someones face smashed in by a vegetable, I hadn't till today. [Chaniqua] Shocking statements by a survivor of the assault! [Talon] Were there any casualties? [Chaniqua] None as of yet... [Talon] I like that, as of yet, builds suspense... Next up, a story about a blind man who got his pilot license...

[Announcer] Have you ever wondered where the tomatoes in tomato sauce come from? No, well neither have I and I couldn't care less... Buy now, tomato sauce from the WeDon'tCare company, call 1-800-IDONTCARE...

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