Live News - Ultrasniff [091419-01]

[Announcer] Welcome to Live News, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] A new harmful substance was found in a local chemistry basement, or what the police would like to call a druglab. Experts claim it makes you really really really, is the teleprompter malfunctioning? [Cameraman] No, keep rolling... [Talon] really really really high, like square root high with 2 decimals... People are advised not to take the drug that is called Ultrasniff, yes people, the latest danger in our society comes from Ultrasnif. It's a light green powder that you can find in 2nd street ask for Carl... What the hell??? [Cameraman] Sorry, it seems our intern is high at the moment... [Talon] You people, our people, do you even realize that this is live??? Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] ... [Talon] Oh great, now I'm really on my own doing this show. People, I'm going to skip the weather and make sure our feature movie starts right now. This is going nowhere... [Announcer] After this commercial break we will show our feature movie of this evening called True Endangerment where a lone gunman takes out a local pizzeria owner and sells the pizzaria to a demented old fart with a loaded shotgun, hilarity ensues...

[Commercial Voice] Hi, does your grandmother smell like nicotine and tar. Order now, the Menthol Airspray Can, put some on your grandmother and only after that let her kiss your cheeks. Call 1-800-GRANNYSMELLS or order online at www.fookyoo.local, remember, and always remember, fook yoo and only fook yoo...

[Heavy Trailer Voice] In a world where people walk on hands and pimps bitchslap with their feet arises a hero of the ages, this movie contains it all, nudity, alcohol, violence, rape, murder, extortion, grand theft auto, bad language and many many more things that offend people. In theathers this Fall...

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