Conspiracy Now - Shit [091819-01]

Tonight on Documentaries Gone Wrong a Documentary maker walks into a den of lions and starts to scream facts about their habitat. The confused lions decided to eat this person. See it all tonight on Documentaries Gone Wrong, don't miss it!!!

[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, here's your host!! [Maxis Jaxxon] Welcome people on this beautiful day, I smelled roses today, you know what they smelled like? Like shit because the neighbours dog decided to deficate on my lawn the god damned mutt. Anyway, while we're on the subject of poop, let me tell you this story. It is said that our local septic pit will reach groundwater level within five years. You can almost smell it right now when you let the faucet run. Local authorities deny that this is a problem, but if we do not act now, within five years your cooked food will actually taste like shit whether you're a professional cook or not. We now turn to our reporter at the scene... [Female Reporter] Well I'm standing here at our local city's septic tank that will overflow within 10 years and will make it so excrement will be floating through our streets... [Maxis] People, I know this all sounds disgusting and you can almost smell it, don't wait, act before you can smell it... All this talking about doodoo makes me need to go do number two... [Caller Nr.2] This is caller number two, I'm Pete from... [Maxis] Not caller number two, I need to take a shit, here you take over... [CN Host 2] Well apparently Maxis had a call from nature and I had to take over, we will be back after these commercials...

[Maxis Jaxxon] Hi People, we now introduce the following product. Have you ever need to take a shit so bad you wished you had diarrea, we have the solution for you. Introducing Ultra Colonflush Pro Extreme Turbo for an introduction price of 49.99 Moneys with coupon code SHIT, it's the ultimate in "waste management", visit www.datawarstore.local for more info...

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