Commercial - Earth Shattered [091019-01] & News Tonight - Lootboxes

[Soundbite] People, I don't want to bring you this news or confer this to you, but Earth is in danger... Today our first TV broadcasts reached the star system Ontario Versius Eight and the inhabitants were none to happy as their GPS grid malfunctioned and seven million Ontations died in "car crashes". Right now an intergalactic fleet is underway to lay waste to our planet. Parents do not try to save your childen, none will be saved. This is truly the end of humanity!!! [Announcer] See it all tonight on Earth Shattered, the new blockbuster TV serie that will blow your perception of what is possible...

[Announcer] Earth Shattered Season one is now available on DVD and BluRay for only 34.99 Moneys. Order now, Fook Yoo!!

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Today the local government decided that lootboxes are gambling, making the majority of games for adults only. Chaniqua is at a game store, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Well, apparently children are no longer allowed to buy games anymore since most of them contain lootboxes. Here's a kid with a statement... [Kid] It is Ma'm, say kid again and I will show you kid... [Talon] Seems the anti gambling laws made kids angry, fantastic reporting Chaniqua. Next up, an anonymous gameseller empoyee leaks information about abusive customers...

[Announcer] Have you ever seen your grandma in a bathingsuit? We at PreventTrauma look at every image that comes your way before you see it. If it might cause a trauma we implement a three layer block on that particular image so that you will be spared. Order now for only 12.99 Moneys per month, call 1-800-TRAUMA [Chinese AD Man] or visit www.fookyoo.local, remember, always Fook Yoo!!

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