The Newsaholic Season 1 Episode 4 - Holy Hamster Day
♪ I don't care about history, to me it's all a mystery [Caitlyn 12]
♪ I only worry about my homework tomorrow, it feels my brain with sorrow [Jack 14]
♪ Don't worry about things like tomorrow, say is there some money I can borrow [Mark 16]
♪ Ohwell you silly cat tell me more about life ♪ Don't worry I'll do after I finish off my wife [Geffrey] (The dad)
♪ Why the hell am I the last one that gets to speak, If I were a bird I would would peck you to death [Marjory] (The mom)
♪ Hey wait a minute this show isnt about silly old me, its about us humanity being what they could be [Rupert] (Cat]
Honey, I'm off to the grocery store... That's great honey, you go and I'll eat breakfast while watching TV... ..Presenting you the ultimate in gay technology. This people is the Homosexual Pro 5000. What it does no one knows, nobody has dared to turn the darn thing on and the inventor has died of a heart attack. See how it has lube glands that self regenerate, stunning technology really. Is it for sale on Epay? Not as of yet, but the new owner is thinking about it. He thinks he can get 270,000.00 Moneys for it. That's quite the investment... Dad, what are you watching? Oh just some scavenger show where they try to buy what's left besides the corpse... Well this guy has his hands on unknown technology... What you mean the HP5000, it's just an oversized electrical toothbrush... Caitlyn, I don't know what worries me more, me watching this episode with you, or the fact that you know it's functions... Daddy needs another beer, please get daddy another beer... *zap* *zap* *zap* Religious channel right, haven't seen that in a while... ..You see 444 is the self contained dynamic for breathable air on earth, you see what plants breathe, animals exhale, and vica versa, now pray to the holy squirrel.... For the holy scriptures say, on Holy Squirrel Day ye shall pray to the squirrel... And people remember, next week is Holy Hamster Day, McHamsters will be closed for the day... ..Don't you feel any guilt for all this Rupert? What for, I'm 444, I'm a friggin cat man. You hear that Rupert, Hamster Mega Deluxe... Yeah I already heard, I'm calling right now...
[RP] GF, do you remember your earliest memories? I do. I remember you saying to me when I was a kitten... [Soundbite GF] Rupert, Rupert, is that a hamster in your mouth? [RP] Mnow Mnow this isw a mwouse is sweyar... [GF] Good, as long as it's a mouse I'm okay with it, you do know I work for McMice right and I can't have my cat eating hamsters, those delicous McHamsterburgers, Hmmm [RP] Why are you gazing off into the distance? [GF] Oh nothing, just those taste enhancing chemicals at McHamsters really work like a drug! [RP] Really GF, I might try em sometimes when I get older... But for now, let's order some dinner... 1-800-MCHAMSTER hello...
*RP and Jack walk in for breakfast the next morning* [M] Good morning dear, the hamster's ready. [RP] Ah delicious breakfast here I come. [M] Not so fast, it's Jacks Hamster, from his school. [RP] *gulp* [M] He's supposed to take care of it this week. Hey, where did the hamster go??? [RP] I dwon't know, less look arouwnd!! [GF] Well, Rupert are you ready? [R] How do you mean ready? [GF] I mean for Holy Hamster day... [R] Oh that, well, I have 8 roasted hamsters ready to go into the microwave so I'll be fine. [GF] Eight huh, like the lucky eight ball. [R] Lucky, how so... [GF] Well, everytime I shake it to see if Marjory wants to get it on in the bedroom I get an okay... ..Dude, she switched it after day two. [GF] Switch? [R] Yes, and I'm not talking about Nintendo Switch, she switched out the inside... [GF] Hell yeah, I'm such a lucky husband, no I'm not, yes I am... [R] You are experiencing something very comon. On one side you feel used, on the other hand you get more sex... It's a difficult situation. I've got a magic eightball, I've got a magic eightball... [R] Geffrey please stop trying to sing. [GF] What do you mean try... [R] Try as in attempting, but not as of yet succeeding...
Thank you all for reading people, till next time!!!
(Things are still subject to change, I'm trying to keep the timeline in order) (Written by Rob van Loon AKA Talon)
(Newsaholic, name of show and format is pending.... Basically, and I won't lie to you, everything is pending!!!)
♪ I only worry about my homework tomorrow, it feels my brain with sorrow [Jack 14]
♪ Don't worry about things like tomorrow, say is there some money I can borrow [Mark 16]
♪ Ohwell you silly cat tell me more about life ♪ Don't worry I'll do after I finish off my wife [Geffrey] (The dad)
♪ Why the hell am I the last one that gets to speak, If I were a bird I would would peck you to death [Marjory] (The mom)
♪ Hey wait a minute this show isnt about silly old me, its about us humanity being what they could be [Rupert] (Cat]
Honey, I'm off to the grocery store... That's great honey, you go and I'll eat breakfast while watching TV... ..Presenting you the ultimate in gay technology. This people is the Homosexual Pro 5000. What it does no one knows, nobody has dared to turn the darn thing on and the inventor has died of a heart attack. See how it has lube glands that self regenerate, stunning technology really. Is it for sale on Epay? Not as of yet, but the new owner is thinking about it. He thinks he can get 270,000.00 Moneys for it. That's quite the investment... Dad, what are you watching? Oh just some scavenger show where they try to buy what's left besides the corpse... Well this guy has his hands on unknown technology... What you mean the HP5000, it's just an oversized electrical toothbrush... Caitlyn, I don't know what worries me more, me watching this episode with you, or the fact that you know it's functions... Daddy needs another beer, please get daddy another beer... *zap* *zap* *zap* Religious channel right, haven't seen that in a while... ..You see 444 is the self contained dynamic for breathable air on earth, you see what plants breathe, animals exhale, and vica versa, now pray to the holy squirrel.... For the holy scriptures say, on Holy Squirrel Day ye shall pray to the squirrel... And people remember, next week is Holy Hamster Day, McHamsters will be closed for the day... ..Don't you feel any guilt for all this Rupert? What for, I'm 444, I'm a friggin cat man. You hear that Rupert, Hamster Mega Deluxe... Yeah I already heard, I'm calling right now...
[RP] GF, do you remember your earliest memories? I do. I remember you saying to me when I was a kitten... [Soundbite GF] Rupert, Rupert, is that a hamster in your mouth? [RP] Mnow Mnow this isw a mwouse is sweyar... [GF] Good, as long as it's a mouse I'm okay with it, you do know I work for McMice right and I can't have my cat eating hamsters, those delicous McHamsterburgers, Hmmm [RP] Why are you gazing off into the distance? [GF] Oh nothing, just those taste enhancing chemicals at McHamsters really work like a drug! [RP] Really GF, I might try em sometimes when I get older... But for now, let's order some dinner... 1-800-MCHAMSTER hello...
*RP and Jack walk in for breakfast the next morning* [M] Good morning dear, the hamster's ready. [RP] Ah delicious breakfast here I come. [M] Not so fast, it's Jacks Hamster, from his school. [RP] *gulp* [M] He's supposed to take care of it this week. Hey, where did the hamster go??? [RP] I dwon't know, less look arouwnd!! [GF] Well, Rupert are you ready? [R] How do you mean ready? [GF] I mean for Holy Hamster day... [R] Oh that, well, I have 8 roasted hamsters ready to go into the microwave so I'll be fine. [GF] Eight huh, like the lucky eight ball. [R] Lucky, how so... [GF] Well, everytime I shake it to see if Marjory wants to get it on in the bedroom I get an okay... ..Dude, she switched it after day two. [GF] Switch? [R] Yes, and I'm not talking about Nintendo Switch, she switched out the inside... [GF] Hell yeah, I'm such a lucky husband, no I'm not, yes I am... [R] You are experiencing something very comon. On one side you feel used, on the other hand you get more sex... It's a difficult situation. I've got a magic eightball, I've got a magic eightball... [R] Geffrey please stop trying to sing. [GF] What do you mean try... [R] Try as in attempting, but not as of yet succeeding...
Thank you all for reading people, till next time!!!
(Things are still subject to change, I'm trying to keep the timeline in order) (Written by Rob van Loon AKA Talon)
(Newsaholic, name of show and format is pending.... Basically, and I won't lie to you, everything is pending!!!)
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