Newsaholic Season One Episode Six - Cat Danger [083019-09]
Article is subject to change, still need to fill in names and such...
[Soundbite] Mister Waiter, what the F*** is this, there's a fly in my Hamsterburger! [Announcer] See it all tonight on Foods Uncovered Covert Action. Right now watch Newsaholic!!! Season one episode six... [Female Disclaimer] Viewer discretion is advised...
♪ I don't care about history, to me it's all a mystery [Caitlyn 12]
♪ I only worry about my homework tomorrow, it feels my brain with sorrow [Jack 14]
♪ Don't worry about things like tomorrow, say is there some money I can borrow [Mark 16]
♪ Ohwell you silly cat tell me more about life ♪ Don't worry I'll do after I finish off my wife [Geffrey] (The dad)
♪ Why the hell am I the last one that gets to speak, If I were a bird I would would peck you to death [Marjory] (The mom)
♪ Hey wait a minute this show isnt about silly old me, its about us humanity being what they could be [Rupert] (Cat]
Caitlyn, how was school today? It was a fun day mommy, I played in the schoolgrounds and after lunch we got to see a documentary about GEH's Genetically Engineered Housecats. Always beware, do not throw it against a wall and never let it land on all 4's, then we did a duck and cover test to see if all the children are ready for such an event...
Honey, will you please turn on the TV, yes my dear... *ZAP*
[Announcer] The following fragment will be aired later tonight, this is a fragment of Doctor Hospital... [Patient] I fear I have a debrillitating disease nurse!! [Nurse] No sir that's just the doctor trying to revive you, Doctor Hospital, I know you can be thourough but this is meant to revive him, not give him electroshock therapy. [Doctor Hospital] Sorry nurse, sometimes I get too carried away. I love this job so much, not just because it's Doctor Hospital, but because IT IS Doctor Hospital...
[Shoeman Laces] Hi I'm Shoeman Laces, I repair soles, inside soles and even replace shoe laces, with our repairs you're going places, so call now 1-800-LACES or order a repair via mail online at www.fookyoo.local, remember, always, Fook Yoo!! *ZAP*
[Government Announcer] In your local area code a Genetically Engineered Housecat has been sighted. Out of fear of a resulting explosion we are quarantining the local area and civilians need to evacuate immediatly. This is a repeat message.... In your local area code a Genetically Engineered Housecat has been sighted... Honey, we got to get the hell out of here, there's a GEH on the loose. Jack, Mark, Caitlyn, wait a minute, where's Rupert? I think he's in the garage smoking a dooby... Dooby, what the hell kind of cigarette name is that? The one they smoke in the teachers art lounge dad. Teachers Art Lounge, I remember that. Somehow I always walked home a bit slower when I went home past that lounge room of theirs. I remember being calmer, much happier, ah, those were the times. *family moves to the garage*... [Stefan] are zyou evacuation zis area az well my neighbor? Yes, we're going to the nearest by city, the children are packing their stuff as we speak... Oh you are going z'air, I can recommend a very fine playze to zyou!
Sorry I had to find my phone, Rupert, what the hell is that smell??? You mean the weed? No I mean the fatty kind of stench that penetrates your nosebones and enters your brain. Are you talking about that Frikandel Special that I'm eating? What the hell is that thing??? No time honey, you heard the TV... Are all the children ready. Yes.s.s Mom, okay let's get the hell out of here, sorry rupert you gotta go in the trunk. You kept jumping forwards and backwards in the car last time when you were high and I'm not taking the risk. *Car exits the garage*
Oooh I love this song,,, ♫ Doctor Hospital, he's crazy and Mentalll, He wont bring you to the hospitalll Operating with him is a free for all... OMG Dad, it's Doctor Hospital, I f***ing love this show. Caitlyn you're 5 years too young to say f***ing, now sit down already, here's some potato chips. Yes, yes they're your favorite... is it really bolognaise dad? yes pumpkin, and please be quiet and enjoy the show...
))After five hours of driving...
From satelite images we see the cat, it is now entering the zoo... Ohno, it's entering the cage of the Senile Mentally Retarded Elderly Bear. They were unable to move him last time, so he stayed. Oh my God, Oh my God, did you see that people, I didn't know Bears eat Cats. What a shock. People, I need to recover here for a moment, let's go to commercials
Honey you hear that on the radio just now, the Bear ate the Cat, so it's no longer explosive as long as the Bear stays calm, they are putting it into a coma as we speak, so Crisis Averted family, if we return now and get gas along the way we can still make it back by morning! Honey, you've been driving too long, here's a hotel, let's stay there for the night. Mommy, mommy, yes Caitlyn, I see they serve pizza. All3 Pizza Pizza Pizza, some muffled noise from the trunk pizza pizza pizza. Okay, that does it, I had enough of this pizza pizza pizza, Aw Dad... Pizza for everyone, you all get a whole pizza, I was just messing with you, couldn't resist it.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Written by Rob van Loon AKA Talon
This material is in a Beta Phase as it were, things are subject to change.
[Soundbite] Mister Waiter, what the F*** is this, there's a fly in my Hamsterburger! [Announcer] See it all tonight on Foods Uncovered Covert Action. Right now watch Newsaholic!!! Season one episode six... [Female Disclaimer] Viewer discretion is advised...
♪ I don't care about history, to me it's all a mystery [Caitlyn 12]
♪ I only worry about my homework tomorrow, it feels my brain with sorrow [Jack 14]
♪ Don't worry about things like tomorrow, say is there some money I can borrow [Mark 16]
♪ Ohwell you silly cat tell me more about life ♪ Don't worry I'll do after I finish off my wife [Geffrey] (The dad)
♪ Why the hell am I the last one that gets to speak, If I were a bird I would would peck you to death [Marjory] (The mom)
♪ Hey wait a minute this show isnt about silly old me, its about us humanity being what they could be [Rupert] (Cat]
Caitlyn, how was school today? It was a fun day mommy, I played in the schoolgrounds and after lunch we got to see a documentary about GEH's Genetically Engineered Housecats. Always beware, do not throw it against a wall and never let it land on all 4's, then we did a duck and cover test to see if all the children are ready for such an event...
Honey, will you please turn on the TV, yes my dear... *ZAP*
[Announcer] The following fragment will be aired later tonight, this is a fragment of Doctor Hospital... [Patient] I fear I have a debrillitating disease nurse!! [Nurse] No sir that's just the doctor trying to revive you, Doctor Hospital, I know you can be thourough but this is meant to revive him, not give him electroshock therapy. [Doctor Hospital] Sorry nurse, sometimes I get too carried away. I love this job so much, not just because it's Doctor Hospital, but because IT IS Doctor Hospital...
[Shoeman Laces] Hi I'm Shoeman Laces, I repair soles, inside soles and even replace shoe laces, with our repairs you're going places, so call now 1-800-LACES or order a repair via mail online at www.fookyoo.local, remember, always, Fook Yoo!! *ZAP*
[Government Announcer] In your local area code a Genetically Engineered Housecat has been sighted. Out of fear of a resulting explosion we are quarantining the local area and civilians need to evacuate immediatly. This is a repeat message.... In your local area code a Genetically Engineered Housecat has been sighted... Honey, we got to get the hell out of here, there's a GEH on the loose. Jack, Mark, Caitlyn, wait a minute, where's Rupert? I think he's in the garage smoking a dooby... Dooby, what the hell kind of cigarette name is that? The one they smoke in the teachers art lounge dad. Teachers Art Lounge, I remember that. Somehow I always walked home a bit slower when I went home past that lounge room of theirs. I remember being calmer, much happier, ah, those were the times. *family moves to the garage*... [Stefan] are zyou evacuation zis area az well my neighbor? Yes, we're going to the nearest by city, the children are packing their stuff as we speak... Oh you are going z'air, I can recommend a very fine playze to zyou!
Sorry I had to find my phone, Rupert, what the hell is that smell??? You mean the weed? No I mean the fatty kind of stench that penetrates your nosebones and enters your brain. Are you talking about that Frikandel Special that I'm eating? What the hell is that thing??? No time honey, you heard the TV... Are all the children ready. Yes.s.s Mom, okay let's get the hell out of here, sorry rupert you gotta go in the trunk. You kept jumping forwards and backwards in the car last time when you were high and I'm not taking the risk. *Car exits the garage*
Oooh I love this song,,, ♫ Doctor Hospital, he's crazy and Mentalll, He wont bring you to the hospitalll Operating with him is a free for all... OMG Dad, it's Doctor Hospital, I f***ing love this show. Caitlyn you're 5 years too young to say f***ing, now sit down already, here's some potato chips. Yes, yes they're your favorite... is it really bolognaise dad? yes pumpkin, and please be quiet and enjoy the show...
))After five hours of driving...
From satelite images we see the cat, it is now entering the zoo... Ohno, it's entering the cage of the Senile Mentally Retarded Elderly Bear. They were unable to move him last time, so he stayed. Oh my God, Oh my God, did you see that people, I didn't know Bears eat Cats. What a shock. People, I need to recover here for a moment, let's go to commercials
Honey you hear that on the radio just now, the Bear ate the Cat, so it's no longer explosive as long as the Bear stays calm, they are putting it into a coma as we speak, so Crisis Averted family, if we return now and get gas along the way we can still make it back by morning! Honey, you've been driving too long, here's a hotel, let's stay there for the night. Mommy, mommy, yes Caitlyn, I see they serve pizza. All3 Pizza Pizza Pizza, some muffled noise from the trunk pizza pizza pizza. Okay, that does it, I had enough of this pizza pizza pizza, Aw Dad... Pizza for everyone, you all get a whole pizza, I was just messing with you, couldn't resist it.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Written by Rob van Loon AKA Talon
This material is in a Beta Phase as it were, things are subject to change.
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