News Tonight (Update) [081419-01]
[Announcer] Welcome once more to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] It was heavy rain today as governments worldwide inceased gravity twofold and it affected the rain. People with severe head injuries should report to the hospital. You can also call 1-800-THISISINSANE for professional psychiatric care after this incident. Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] We still don't have video footage at this moment in time, but rest assured... No, rest unassured that this event is over. We still expect aftershocks of the events and are advised to stay inside. [Talon] Don't worry you, if you're reading this you're probably inside!! Great reporting as always Chaniqua, and now we switch to a story about gophers forming an alliance with moles and pigeons in order to keep up with the technological advancements the chickens and cows are booking. The pigs refrained from commenting on the developments. More on this after the commercial break...
[Chinese AD Man] Hi you, you dying of rain, steel umbrellas from overseas. Only 30 Moneys, you buy now!! Order at 1-800-FOOKYOO or order online at www.fookyoo.local, remember, Fook Yoo!!
Extra stuff:
[RP] Hey GF, what's up, you look like you need some coffee....?.. [GF] Maybe I do, but not now, you know what happened earlier today? *GF approaches local coffee dispenser* See here goes my card... coffee... black... [Machine Voice] Sorry sir, your card has been revoked and will not be returned to you, please follow this guide to the nearest SunDime establishment to reactivate your account and obtain a new card. [GF] What the hell, I bought this card last week, and now it's swallowed by some soulless machine. Hell no, I'm not going to let this roll over without some kind of action. *GF Walks into SunDimes* Hello!!! [SunDimes Employee, SDE] Yes, how may I help you... [GF] Yes I'm here to return this coffee, here's the receipt. [SDE] But sir, this receipt is from yesterday, and the coffee's cold... [GF] Now, don't delve into the details, I'm here to make a stand... [GF] You see my card is no longer working. [SDE] Could it be you used your last credits as a negative to get your last coffee. It is store policy to let the amount go into the negative and dispense one last cup of our delicious product. [GF] I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for all that *ring ring* Yes mother... [SDE] You just said "ring ring" [GF] Look out, there behind you a spider... [SDE] Whaaat, a spider... hey wait a minute, damn he left...
[Chinese AD Man] Hi you, you dying of rain, steel umbrellas from overseas. Only 30 Moneys, you buy now!! Order at 1-800-FOOKYOO or order online at www.fookyoo.local, remember, Fook Yoo!!
Extra stuff:
[RP] Hey GF, what's up, you look like you need some coffee....?.. [GF] Maybe I do, but not now, you know what happened earlier today? *GF approaches local coffee dispenser* See here goes my card... coffee... black... [Machine Voice] Sorry sir, your card has been revoked and will not be returned to you, please follow this guide to the nearest SunDime establishment to reactivate your account and obtain a new card. [GF] What the hell, I bought this card last week, and now it's swallowed by some soulless machine. Hell no, I'm not going to let this roll over without some kind of action. *GF Walks into SunDimes* Hello!!! [SunDimes Employee, SDE] Yes, how may I help you... [GF] Yes I'm here to return this coffee, here's the receipt. [SDE] But sir, this receipt is from yesterday, and the coffee's cold... [GF] Now, don't delve into the details, I'm here to make a stand... [GF] You see my card is no longer working. [SDE] Could it be you used your last credits as a negative to get your last coffee. It is store policy to let the amount go into the negative and dispense one last cup of our delicious product. [GF] I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for all that *ring ring* Yes mother... [SDE] You just said "ring ring" [GF] Look out, there behind you a spider... [SDE] Whaaat, a spider... hey wait a minute, damn he left...
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