News Tonight & Special Documentary Inside Access [081319-01]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Again welcome to tonights episode, something tragically funny happened today, Chaniqua my precious cocobean has all the details. [Chaniqua] Are those freckles on that white pasty skin of yours? Apparently today hilarity ensued when a high confused movie actor started to break down the left wall in the shopping mall... when asked what he was doing he replied... [Soundbite] Im breaking through the fourth wall. [Talon] I have heard of actors breaking through the fourth wall, did he break through this one? [Chaniqua] There were mall cops around, three of them managed to bring him to the ground and tie him up. [Talon] Did he have anything more to say? [Chaniqua] Well it seems he ended with saying, I was just trying to break down through the fourth wall, and bring along my hammer, I bought it at a local hardware store. The store manager's name was Duke Hukkenbauer... *Talon interrupts* [Talon] Chaniqua I was asking if he said anything else, not his goddamned life story, jeez. People it seems there is no more time for more news, after the commercial break we will air a special, stay tuned!!!

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[Announcer] Welcome to Special Documentary Inside Access, here's your host. [Talon] Welcome to SDIA, you might know me from News Today or News Tonight, but in tonights special episode of SDIA we will be covering high yield explosives. Here's Jimmy, Jimmy here's a brick of C4 with a detonator attached to it. Jimmy go run to the hills. [Jimmy] Yes sir, how fast sir? [Talon] Very fast... *Jimmy starts running, 10 seconds later the host alledgedly pushes the button. Jimmy explodes. [Talon] See children, don't play with high yield explosives and try not to touch grampa's dynamite in the attic. Thank you for tuning in to Special Documentary Inside Access.

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