News Tonight [081519-04]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] There's a new computer virus spreading over the internet like a plague, the virus makes the computer make fart noises. Instead of attacking the virus people are breaking out in laughter and are unable to counteract the virus... Chaniqua is at the scene and has the details. Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] I'm on the scene as always doing my reports, what do you do, sitting behind your cosy desk. [Talon] I don't know, maybe I'm the best anchor in town, anyway, what do you got for us? [Chaniqua] Here's the interview I did with some gamer that lives on fifth street. [Soundbite] I got this *prrrft* virus haha, and then *prrrft* I tried my antivirus *prrrft* software and haha, the damned program *prrrft* haha, no longer worked *prrrft* haha. This was, haha, Chaniqua reporting on the *prrrft* scene at a victim of the particular, *prrrft* haha virus... [Talon] Why the hell didn't we cut off the feed five minutes ago. Still commend your reporting Chaniqua, splendid job as always. But then again. I had to hear fart noises for minutes on end with no end in sight. And now people, we switch to a story about a local drifter. Where did he come from and why is he carrying a loaded sawed off shotgun??? We will be back after this commercial break...

Commercial Break:

[Announcer] Do you dislike drifters and want to bother them by having them hauled off to the police station for questioning for hours on end. Call 1-800-DRIFTERSNITCH now, that is 1-800-DRIFTERSNITCH...

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