News Tonight [081419-07]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Sit down people, are you sitting, good. Do I have a story for you. The government will now litterally nickle and dime people to death in the wake of a local sports riot, blood in the streets is expected. The local government has developped fully automatic weapons that fire nickles and dimes. Chaniqua is at the scene, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Hi, good evening, I'm standing here next to officer Wannashoot, he claims he's indian. [Wannashoot] You see those looters out there, I'm going to shoot them [Chaniqua] Chaniqua signing off as things become violent over here. [Talon] Did you see, did you see. Did you see the tear in the left eye of Captain Wannashoot Lottapeople, truly a compasionate man. And now we switch to a story about regular housecats mating with GEH's (Genetically engineered housecats), the situation is getting explosive, stay tuned!!!...

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