News Tonight [081019-02]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Welcome and good evening ladies and gentlemen, I hope you're sitting down for this one. sThis in the news, a minor loud noise or bang was heard in the neighbourhood, it went "Bang" at what people perceive as a loud noise. We can rest easy now, now that we found the truth of this horrific explosion. Chaniqua has all the details, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Apparently it turns out that a five year old found a firecracker on the 1st of January and saved it up for his birthday. He did not think he needed to go outside and threw it in the hallway. Since it was his birthday his grandparents were in the livingroom ate the time, gramps did not survive the event since his pacemakers battery could not handle the stress. [Talon] That is sad to hear, really dramatic and traumatic, but you know what we have to say on these days... Happy Birthday!!! Wonderfull reporting Chaniqua, and where does your next report bring us now? [Chaniqua] The mens bathroom, something about mens rights issues.... [Talon] More on this after the commercial break...

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[Announcer] Welcome back to News Tonight!! [Talon] A man has been arrested for chipmunk porn today while sitting on the toilet while claiming to watch a documentary, police is on the scene [officer] Well the man claimed it was a documentary from this local nature channel, But, I knew different. I threw the man to the ground, handcuffed him and sealed off the perimenter for further investigation. we have no further information and are counting on your patience at this momen. [Chaniqua] Did he stil have his clothes on at that moment in time? [Officer] Yes mam he still had all his clothes on and his hands were dry at the time of arrest. [Chaniqua] So he was not playing with himself... [Victim from police car] Hell no I wasn't playing with myself, that was just a documetary... [Officer] Didn't I say that anything you say can and will be used against you... [Victim from police car] What the hell, was that a threat... [Officer] Chaniqua, I'm affraid we have to cut this interview short... *feed cuts* [Talon] Chaniqua, Chaniqua, well it seems the feed cut off, I hope my dark chocolate creamy filled bonbon is okay? I always wanted to say that and now she's not there, and now we switch to a story about a very hungry beaver that is out for more!...