News Tonight [080419-01]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Good evening, tonight we have something special. As usual Chaniqua is on the scene, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] ...no I'm not taking part in your infomercial *hangs up* Sorry, had a call there for a minute, some stupid ass infomercial to rescue the hungry children in Afghanistan... Anyways, here I'm standing with a local hero. You see, this local hero is something special, he is blind and half deaf... *taps hero on the shoulder* [Blind Half Deaf Hero] What's going on, why am I standing here, I'm standing on the road between 23rd and 24th right??? [Chaniqua] Well, it seems this local hero is unsure of where he is at this moment... [Blind Half Deaf Hero] No I do not want to take part in your infomercial!!, Sorry, had a phonecall... [Talon] Why is he talking so loud? [Chaniqua] Well, apparently he's being called about some stupid ass informercial... [Talon] Sorry, give me a moment, my phone is ringing... No thank you, no, no please I don't want that. Sorry Chaniqua this will take a while so lets go to commercials. [Chaniqua] Oh here we go again his royal whiteness can't hang up when a call is unwanted... You see *feed cuts off to commercial break*

[Soundbite] [Medicated Man] OMG, do you see those leaves, it's like they're dancing. Honey, can I taste them, they're calling to me. [Medicated Woman] Yes, I hear them too, the plants want to cuddle with me...

[Announcer] Ever walked through nature and hated it, you know, animals pooping everywhere like it's some kind of forrest. Do we have something wonderful for you. It's based on Extacy or MDMA like scientists like to call it and it makes you happy to walk through the park. Order now, call 1-800-IMSOHIGH, I repeat, call 1-800-IMSOHIGH

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