News Tonight [080319-01]

[Chinese Announcer] The next show is sponsored by Fook Yoo, remember, Fook Yoo!!

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Right now, at this moment in time, yes you, yeah you, you who are watching this. We have special news for you, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Hi yes, yes, we are here on the scene at a local cemetary where archeologists are digging up the remains of Hitler's mother. [Talon] Hitler's Mother??? [Chaniqua] Yes, Hitler's mother's remains [Talon] Did she have anything to say? [Chaniqua] No, she remained silent. [Talon] There you have it people, Hitler's mother remained silent. And now we switch to a story about a clinically depressed genetically engineered mouse that plays the banjo...

[Announcer] A few moments ago a hamster was arrested with a kitchen knife, the hamster armed with C4 is still at large, more on this on News @ Night, don't miss it!!!

[Female Announcer] If you suspect an armed dyslectic hamster is in the neighbourhood or see one, do not approach it under any circumstances, call 1-800-ICHAMSTER and an armed response will be on it's way in mere seconds. Again, 1-800-ICHAMSTER

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