News Today [081419-04]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Do we have a scoop for you!! Today a MegaLegoManiac built a tank out of Lego, Chaniqua has the details. [Chaniqua] Apparently, he said he was inspired by Mad Max, especially the Mad part since he buily his tank out of scrap metal... He loaded a live shell and fired it at city hall, many people died. [Talon] That's amazing reporting, less amazing was the bodycount, only 15 people died. And now we switch to a positive story about a paraplegic cat that has learned to walk again after buying an uzi. An Uzi is a fast firing automatic weapon, more on this after the commercial break...

[Announcer] Now available, the hamstercooker 2000, get your hamster cooked in 2 minutes, the hamster loves to work fast and so do we!!! Call 1-800-HAMSTER,[Chinese AD Man] 1-800-FOOKYOO or order at www.fookyoo.local, remember, Fook Yoo!!

[Announcer] Are you homeless and looking for a roof over your head? [Chinese AD MAN] We sell tents, you buy now, only 19 Money. Call 1-800=FOOKYOO or order online at www.fookyoo.local, remember, Fook Yoo!!

[Soundbite] Now isn't that a nice little squirrel. *Zoof* See that other squirrel, it just came out of nothing, wait a minute, is that squirrel carrying a hammer??? [Announcer] Have you ever had your brains bashed in by a squirrel, hear all about it on Disturbed Animals tonight, don't miss it!!!

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