News Today & Disturbed Animals [081119-02]
[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your host!! [Talon] A cataclysmic event happened this afternoon after a blind confused person ran into the freeway screaming [Soundbite] I need solutions, I need solutions... [Talon] Chaniqua is on the scene, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Apparently nobody had any solutions and 76 cars crashed into one another as this happened at an intersection to change lanes... [Talon] Do you have anything more? [Chaniqua] Yes my pasty one, there were five deaths and 89 people had to go to the hospital. [Talon] Did they have a message? [Chaniqua] Yes, [Soundbite] Get this lunatic off the road please.... [Talon] Amazing, simply amazing, thank you for tuning in to the afternoon news. [Announcer] Next up, Disturbed Animals!!!
[Chinese AD man] You eat duck now, 5 Moneys off, call 1-800-DUCK, or order at www.fookyoo.local, remember, Fook Yoo!!
[Announcer] Welcome to Disturbed Animals, here's your host!! [Top Host] Good afternoon, sitting next to me is a highly intelligent blind braille reading chimpansee. So mokey, you're no longer smokey the smoking monkey, but just Mokey right now... [Cameraman] Aaar Aaaaar Aaaargh, what the hell, did you guys forget the nicotine plasters... [Top host] People, this is a special Disturbed Animals, as we speak the chimpansee has torn off the cameraman's right arm and is chewing it. Luckily it avoided [Cameraman] Aaaargh aargh [Talon] me or it's handler. See how the chimpansee is ruminating on the human flesh... [Animal Control] Animal control is on the scene, men, disperse... *six men with fully automatic weapons surround the monkey* [AC Captain] FIRE... [Gunfire] Toof toof toof [AC Captain], monkey down, I repeat, monkey down. We will now switch to a story about a cameraman who lost an arm during todays filming, he says he can still... OMG the monkey got up and is attacking the cameraman again, this is truly horrific. More on this after the commercial break...
[Chinese AD man] Okay, You No Buy!! You eat duck now, 6 Moneys off, call 1-800-DUCK, or order at www.fookyoo.local, remember, Fook Yoo!!
[Chinese AD man] You eat duck now, 5 Moneys off, call 1-800-DUCK, or order at www.fookyoo.local, remember, Fook Yoo!!
[Announcer] Welcome to Disturbed Animals, here's your host!! [Top Host] Good afternoon, sitting next to me is a highly intelligent blind braille reading chimpansee. So mokey, you're no longer smokey the smoking monkey, but just Mokey right now... [Cameraman] Aaar Aaaaar Aaaargh, what the hell, did you guys forget the nicotine plasters... [Top host] People, this is a special Disturbed Animals, as we speak the chimpansee has torn off the cameraman's right arm and is chewing it. Luckily it avoided [Cameraman] Aaaargh aargh [Talon] me or it's handler. See how the chimpansee is ruminating on the human flesh... [Animal Control] Animal control is on the scene, men, disperse... *six men with fully automatic weapons surround the monkey* [AC Captain] FIRE... [Gunfire] Toof toof toof [AC Captain], monkey down, I repeat, monkey down. We will now switch to a story about a cameraman who lost an arm during todays filming, he says he can still... OMG the monkey got up and is attacking the cameraman again, this is truly horrific. More on this after the commercial break...
[Chinese AD man] Okay, You No Buy!! You eat duck now, 6 Moneys off, call 1-800-DUCK, or order at www.fookyoo.local, remember, Fook Yoo!!
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