News Night [081419-02]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Night, here's your Host!! [Talon] Today tragedy happened after a GEH ran onto the freeway, that's a Genetically Engineered Housecat for those who aren't updated on the story. When thrown against a solid object they explode. Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Apparently, to minimize dramatazation we have instead replaced the real footage with puppies... [Soundbite] 10 wounded, [Talon] look at the cute puppy... 3 deceased, [Chaniqua] look at how cute it's tail is... [Talon] One critically wounded pregnant women died during the rescue flight, here's some kittens.. see how cute he is... she... sorry i mean she, [Chaniqua] See how she's trying to catch that thread of wool... [Announcer] More updates on this gruesome incident on our local freeway. And now a commercial break...

[Female Announcer] Did you just see the horrifying news right now, saw how cute the little kitten was. Well, now you can order your very own, call 1-800-KITTEN or order online at www.fookyoo.local. [Chinese AD Man] Remember, Fook Yoo!! You can also call 1-800-FOOKYOO and it will be drone delivered within 3 hours.

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