Conspiracy Now - Who is Maxis Jaxxon? [083019-12]


Good afternoon, This is Maxis Jaxxon the host of Conspiracy News, people today I'm talking calls. Caller number one please... [Caller] Yeah I'm selling a Dead Alien... Sir are you the same caller as last time... when you go near it the flies fly away so we know it's a cow corpse... how long has it been since you last called? [Caller] I know it's been a few but the stench is so bad no one dares to move it anymore. Next week there will be a team in hazmat suits but I can't wait that long because of the smell... [Maxis Jaxxon] Next caller after these short messages...

This is where the story originated from:

 (Welcome back to) Conspiracy Now [082919-04]

 [Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, here's your host!! [Top Host]Today we are doing phonecalls, get me caller number four. [Caller] Thank you so much man, I have an important issue to present to the public. I have an ALIEN in my backyard, or it might be a decaying cow covered in flies, it's hard to tell. [Top Host] This is a very important issue people please pay attention. Did you have or not have a cow in your backyard? [Caller] I did... [Top Host] Is it still there? [Caller] Well, it's no longer grazing in my yard. [Top Host] Sir, could it or could it not be that that black fuzzy fly covered thing in your yard is actually your cow? [Caller] So you mean my cow is dead? [Top Host] Yes it seems like it sir, my condolences, next caller....

 [Announcer] Out Now the latest album by Rapper Weed McMarihuana with his latest hit album Spliffytastic... [Audio] ♫Are you getting Jiggy? No I'm gettin hiffy with a spliffy in a Jiffy.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MCB 2019 Announcement!!! [103019-0E]

[Announcer] This Saturday, save the date, do not go out to dinner, don't talk to your family... Yes, yes you're thinking what I'm thinking, throw away everything else and sit in front of the TV at twenty hundred hours, because it's the yearly event we have all been waiting for. 30 Comedians, One hour, containing the most offensive jokes in history. This years host of MCB Mega Comedy Blast will be our channels favorite host, Talon. [Talon] Hi, I'm Talon and this year I will be hosting MGC, and I promise you it will be the most offensive event in history... [Announcer] This saturday at eight, don't miss it!!! (When the Olympics happened I wasn't able to come online so I had to forfeit that effort, fingers crossed!!)
Read more

Most offensive post of the day - Lootboxes [102819-01]

What do you call a store who's cameras aren't equipped with nigga optics? A lootbox! [Marjory] Rupert, how can you say such a thing, that's racist and offensive... [Rupert] I'm sorry Marjory, but it had to be said... But I do have one thing to add, why did the looters leave all the black sneakers behind and only went for the white sneakers? That's because you can see dirt on white sneakers more easily and we all know these people like to get offended... [Marjory] Like to, or are? [Rupert] Both! If this was too offensive for you, please call 1-800-IDONTCARE right now and receive 15% off of your next telephone bill, because we all know you like to whine endlessly... [Disclaimer Voice] Hi dear viewer, every expression and opinion made by this company does not reflect the company. Edit/Addon/Etc Lootboxes should be renamed, I mean gamers nowadays act like a bunch of cheap whores. Lootboxes should be called Pimpbribes instead you know, to reflect it's actual ef...
Read more

Opinion Today - Looking intelligent while wearing glasses [101719-02]

[Announcer] Welcome to Opinion Today, here's your host! [Top Host] Hi, and welcome to the first episode of Opinion Today where one guest gets five minutes to explain their viewpoint. Why do people wearing glasses look more intelligent than they actually are? [Unknown Expert] You see, in medieval times where glasses probably were introduced barely anyone could read. This remained so for centuries without change, so it's engrained into our societal perspectives that those who wear glasses have the ability to read. Back in those times if you wore glasses it was obvious you had an education and could write and read, thus proving you are more intelligent than the person next to you. Whether this is due to collective perception or cultural perception is up for debate, but no one can deny that we have the perspective that glasses make you look educated and intelligent. That's all I have to say about this matter right meow. [Top Host] Thank you "Unknown Expert"... We will...
Read more