Conspiracy Now & Commercial Break [080219-01]

[Announcer] Welcome to Conspiracy Now, here's your host!! [Top Host] Good evening, tonight we will be discussing the subject of extraterrestials. Chaniqua is at the scene, Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Apparently this confused local farmer was seen walking alongside the road rambling [Soundbite] Aliens visited my house, drank tea, thanked me and left... Aaargh my brains, my brains, they hurt so much. [Chaniqua] We have yet to see any ties to the escaped local mental patient who served the major tea. One can but ponder and wonder about this subject. [Soundbite] Please kill me... [Top Host] That's amazing reporting Chaniqua, but until we have concrete evidence this will remain a rumor at best. Take it with a tendouble dose of salt people... "..."... Yes I know it's deadly to take that much salt in one go. I believe my audience is smart enough to see I was speaking figuratively...  We will be back after the break with more sightings of airborne chickens using stealth technology...

[Heavy Disclaimer Voice] People are advised to not take in too much salt per day, if any of your relatives died, call 1-800-SALTY, I repeat, call 1-800-SALTY... [Top Host]

[Soundbite] "Yeah I saw this chicken going airborne for a moment and in a flash it vanished in a flash before my eyes" [Announcer] More news about Airborne Chickens after these commercials, don't miss it!!

;Commercial Break

[Chinese man who voices the commercial] Welcome, Fook Yoo, Now delicious Fook Yoo Noodles!!! [High Pitched Gangster] Did you say F*** my Noodles you motherf***** [Chinese man who voices the commercial] Yesss, Fook Yoo Noodles, delicious, only 2.99

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