Celebrity Gossip Inside (& More) [080719-01]

[Announcer] Welcome to Celebrity Gossip Inside, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Hi, good evening on CGI  we will cover High Society, do they smoke weed and get high? Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Apparently people are getting high. Here's what one person had to say. [P] Please again, leave me alone, I don't want an interview. [Chaniqua] ..Intelligeble.. [P] No bitch I'm not high, and neither is my 8 year old son standing next to me, go bother someone else, [Chaniqua] Sir... [P] No bitch, no excuse needed, and hell yeah celebrities get high, they have to deal with your type of people on a day to day basis. Hell, I wanna get high right now to calm myself down, jeezus christ, you're such an intrusive cunt I'm ending this interview right here. [Chaniqua] I think someone needs to smoke something to calm down. [Talon] Amazing reporting as usual, thank you! Well there you have it people, getting high calms you down. And now we switch to a story about a taxademicized capybara with WiFi connection and built in speakers. The creator says it has 8GB of storage. More on this after the break...

[Announcer] You want a digital stuffed dead deceased animal in your house with WiFi capabilities? Call 1-800-FOOKYOO, remember, Fook Yoo

[Announcer] Welcome back to CGI where we cover all the ins and outs of the celebrity world, here's your favorite host!!! [Talon] Good evening once again. Chaniqua is in our sound studio with a stuffed capybara. Chaniqua you lovely piece of chocolate... [Chaniqua] You've got that right but I won't melt in your mouth. I'm standing here next to the capybara. It's boxes are so loud I'm surprised they passed government testing... [Talon] *unintelligable*  WHAT DID YOU SAY... WHAT... OMG THERE'S RED STUFF COMING OUT OF MY EARS... [Talon] We're cutting this news coverage short, I have to call emergency services for my colleague, see you all next week where we will delve into the story of the movie celebrity who wants to marry a flower, genetically mutate it and send it into outer space in order to seed the whole world with them... [Talon] Are we off... [Cameraman] Yes... *switch is flicked on* [Talon] Why in heavens, hells and earths name can't this man just say he's a homosexual???


RP *calls 1-800-TRON* Ey yo Tron, dude, how are you. TR EY yo my nigga RP I'm a cat but thank you, anyways dude, do you have any broccoli lying around? TR Nah man, I only have Caulyflower at the moment. RP, ok then, bring me some Ice Tea and Caulyflower... TR By ice tea you mean brown happy juice right? RP Yup, all 40% of them... See you in half an hour...



RP A mouse walked into a bar right GF Right RP And then I swooped it up with my paws and ate it GF Where's the punch line? What punchline, I was talking about my lunch this afternoon...