News Tonight and Commercial Break [081119-05]

Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Today a car exploded at the local border, Chaniqua has all the details. [Chaniqua] Well, apparently a bomb exploded at our local border. At first they thought of a car bomb, but it turned out to be just another Genetically Engineered Housecat which exploded when the driver stepped on the brakes. [Talon] Genetically Engineered Housecats or GEH's as we like to call them keep forming a danger to society as a whole. The local government has allowed firearms to be used when a cat is sighted. With one exception, if you see a white cat with a blue collar, don't shoot. That is Princess Magnifius who is owned by the town major. And now we switch to an in depth documentary regarding Princess Magnifius, who is she, where did she come from, and where will she go???...

[Italian Pizza Chef] You-ze call-uh me-ah, [Locally born Italian] we might speak broken english but we're the best pizza in town, call 1-800-PIZZA. [Chinese AD Man] You can also order via www.fookyoo.local, remember, Fook Yoo!!!

Sorry people you had to wait, here's the main story of News Tonight, the Death Punch, is it real. [Chinese AD man] Death Punch definately real, you learn now, only 50 Moneys. Call 1-800-FOOKYOO, remember, Fook Yoo!!

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