News Today & Commercial Break [072619-01]

[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your host!! [Talon] Good afternoon and welcome to News Today where we will delve into the story about a sadistic man facing lawsuits after holding a all you can eat contest. Chaniqua has the whole story, Chaniqua?? [Chaniqua] Well you're looking kinda beige today, good for you. Anyways, here at the food contest in Africa there are 10 happy belly filled contestants and 573 hungry onlookers, things didn't go as planned when the watching public lost it's composure when the fifth entree was being served. Many wounded, some dead, Chaniqua out. [Talon] Normally it's eat or die, seems today some did both. Thanks Chaniqua for that insightfull well spoken report, and now we switch to the story about the corrupt senator who stole millions in order to support his micro transaction filled mobile game addiction...

[Announcer] Out now, the Super Soaker 3000, the ultimate vaginal douche for female hygiene. [Heavy Voice] This product is not intended for children or recreative use, do not watch into the barrel while pulling the trigger. [Female Announcer] Super Soaker 3000 is the ultimate product in vaginal cleaning get yours today for only 27.99. Visit our website SS3000.COM or call us at 1-800-SOAKMENOW, that is 1-800-SOAKMENOW...

[Female Announcer] Want to swallow a pill and sleep for 72 hours straight, out now for only 2.99 a dose. Visit www.localhospital.internet if your relative has swallowed one. If you are in need of this medication call 1-800-COMA, that is 1-800-COMA

[Announcer] Local hospital under investigation after selling illegal sleeping medication on News Tonight, don't miss it!!!

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