Disturbed Animals & Commercial [073019-01]

[Announcer] Welcome to Disturbed Animals, here's your host!! [Talon] Welcome and a good evening to all, today we have a special story. Yes people, it has finally come to this, Suicidal Housecats. After the genetically altered housecats debacle of last week, cat morale has plummeted. Many cats ran into appartment buildings and flats and jumped off of the roof straight into the pavement, animal control is at a loss to explain the situation. [Animal Control Worker] Yeah, I saw the cat, the door opened when someone exitted the building. It ran straight to the top floor and jumped right into kitty heaven. It's final words were meow meow. [Chaniqua] Did at any point a cat try to bribe you? [Animal Control Worker] Yes, a cat offered me a furball if I'd open the door for him. [Talon] Fantastic reporting Chaniqua, you're looking lighter today, is that a new foundation?? And now we switch to a story about hamsters using cats as horses...

[Soundbite] Start recording in 5 4 3, wait what, is that a hamster holding a knife?? [/Soundbite]

[Announcer] Tonight on Disturbed Animals, our very own camera crew viciously attacked by dyslectic hamsters, don't miss it!!!

[Soundbite] Mommy, when I die I want to be mummified and rise from the dead! [Announcer] An all new exclusive first episode of the new hit series Mommy and Mummy!! [Soundbite] Being a mummy and wrapping yourself in toiletpaper is not the same thing

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