Commercial Break & News Tonight [072719-01]

[Announcer] Tonight on Disturbed Animal, some weird scientist has engineered farming squirrels that hamster for birdpoop that are groing crops while fishing for answers, don't miss it!!! [Soundbite] The hamster put a seed in the ground after digging a tiny hole, started peeing on it in order for the seed to sprout, while looking me seriously in the eyes. It were as were it tried to say, I'm a farming hamster now and I pee where I want to, Deal with it! i Dealt with it by pouring myself a glass of whisky... [/Soundbite] [Heavy Male Disclaimer] This program nor it's network promotes alcoholism...

[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your host!! [Talon] Good evening, today we have a continueation of our progressing coverage about the mental patient who alledgedly served our local major tea with only 2 lumps of suger. Chaniqua? [Chaniqua] Yeah I'm here whitey, anyways I'm in the nearby village now, Yeah I know they would like to call it a town, but I say village. Apparently the escaped mental patient tried to offer the major of this village, coffee. [Talon] Coffee? Coffee?? Coffee??? Of all the beverages in the world he dared to service the major with gods black liquid. Someone put a stop to this. [Chaniqua] I know right, Starbucks won't like this one bit. [Talon] More on this later, right now I'm getting a cup of coffee since some nice man downstores is offering it for free at the moment. Be back in five...

[Announcer] After the commercial break we're focussing us on the story about the white guy getting sued after saying Nigga Please. The problem wasn't the Nigga part, the person was asian. Don't miss it!!!

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