BACKLOG #1, TOO MANY JOKES TO POST AT ONCE
Next Backlog will follow soon, though sadly a lot has been lost... don't fret about it, the animals in olympics will return... Hope you enjoy... ~Talon
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Zombie virus outbreak worldwide, a new strain which produces intelligent zombies who scour Ebay for brains instead of attacking humans. More updates will follow...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
This is a message from your local government, the health department. Please do not sell your brains on Ebay, it has serious health implications!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
A local news station interviewed a man who sold half his brain and he had the following statement: "Yeah, uhh, I sold half my brain and now I don't talk so good"?
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News Update: Elon Musk has accepted the NASA challenge and will also participate!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking, important news update: NASA wants to enter the Olympics and is introducing Space Rocket Drag Racing, updates will follow shortly!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Today during a battlechess contest one oponent got mad and bashed his oponents skull in with a mace and yelled "Checkmate", the live video stream was cut off shortly after that and livestream watchers are getting professional help to recover from the trauma!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
News Update: Today a car accidentally hit a train during an illegal train rail race, more details will follow shortly!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
This just in: Ten minutes ago during the Olympic Landmine Jumping Event a contestant accidentally hit a landmine and got blown to pieces. Here's a statement from a spectator: "Yeah this guy uh, whatshisname, misjumped or something and hit a mine, there was blood and guts everywhere. People with blood on their faces, children crying, and the worst part, I got blood on my joint and it was the last one" Stay tuned for more updates!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Today an Olympic Jet Pack Rock Climber plunged to his death, because he forgot to refuel his jetpack. Here's a statement from a spectator: "Ey yo, I saw him, he was going straight up yo, and then hung in the air like Wiley Coyote, looked around him with a confused look and then plunged down"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
46 seconden geleden (bewerkt)
This is a commercial: Enjoy Brawndo Spirits with friends, now with Vodka!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Today a new record was set during the Heavy Weight Feather Lifting Competition!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: The olympic commity has decided to scrap midget bowling since there weren't enough midgets. Apparently someone switched the numbers and it turned into 1 bowling ball and 9 midgets. More news will follow shortly!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A confused Patrick Steward was hauled of by paramedics today, he was standing on the Golden Gate Bridge and kept saying: "This is Picard, please come to the bridge"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A tragedy has occurred today during the olympics. It was during the event that the participant missed the target landing net during the Olympic Catapult Flying event. More details will follow...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Because of the increased popularity of Quake 3 Arena the olympic commity will create a new olympic event which is called Rocket Jump. Protective body armor is advised!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 minuut geleden (bewerkt)
Breaking News: An olympic swimmer died today while participating in the Olympics. It was during the Shark Swimming Event that he could not maintain enough distance!!! Also in the news, many olympic participants plunged to their deaths during the Staircase Marathon Event, someone forgot to put in a third floor!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: New product in development, Brawndo Orange, because your grandmother won't let you have cola!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
4 minuten geleden (bewerkt)
Breaking News: A new product has been launched, Branwdo Vitamins Plus. There's no vitamins in it, but there's sure is laughter!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Now on sale, Electro Lite, 50% less laughs!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
How can I laugh for that long, I drink Brawndo, it's got electrolytes!!!?
17 uur geleden
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A tragedy occured today during the Winter Olympic Proximity Mine Slalom event when a contestant accidentally came too close to one. A spectator had this to say: "Ey yo, I was sitting there right watching the event and eating my hot dog. Suddenly this contestan yo, came too close to the mine and went BANG. Just like Nascar I go to these events to enjoy things like this. I mean I always loved crashing cars, but found my new religion when I discovered this sport!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Here's an important update: Usain Bolt made a new world record and got a gold medal during the Olympic Tiger Triathlon, some other contestants werent so lucky. A spectator had this to say: "Yeah uh, I was sitting there, and this white dude you now, they ain't that fast. He was quick, but the tiger seemed really hungry and got the better of him. The last thing he said was: "Don't let my cheating wife have my money, aaaargh, that hurts"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: During tests for a new Olympic Event called Jello Diving people got stuck at the bottom and had to be rescued!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A local politician has been arrested for bribery, he offered more money for more sprinkles on his ice cream cone. We now go live to the local police: "This is officer Ted, yes Angela, we got a phone call from a local ice cream vendor and we immediately jumped into our cars and rushed to the scene. We saw him with an extra fifty cents in his hands begging for more sprinkles and we immediately took action. [Angela]: "Thank you Ted, the local politician is now awaiting trial. He was offered bail, but that would mean he has less money for sprinkles so he declined!!!" ; )?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Update News: More news on the Chihuahua, local authorities have pledged 2 years of dog food for the person who adopts the dog. His name is Sparky and loves to play catch!!!?
TalonNL999
Breaking News: A real tragedy has occurred today when a jetliner airplane crashed into the ocean. There were no survivors, except a Chihuahua, rescue helicopters arrived soon after and lifter the poor dog out of the ocean!!! Stay tuned for more updates...
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: People have been spotting Jesus, a man in a white robe with a long beard and long hair. After a police investigation it turned out to be an escaped mental patient in his white bath robe!!! Yes, we got a phone call from a few people and then a few more. Some local muslims got scared of the wandering bathrobe man and called us. We went to investigate and well, as you already heard... it was just an escaped mental patient who got lost!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Tragedy occured today when a local farmer needed more horsepower and attached a helicopter engine to his horse, the horse did not survive!!! The local authorities have arrested the farmer and released the following statement: "Nobody called the police when this occurred but we heard a loud bang". More news on this subject later...?
TalonNL999
23 seconden geleden (bewerkt)
Now in the news: New Olympic Sport gains immense popularity, it's called Bikini Trampoline Jumping. One of the athletes coaches said:"You know, I love this sport, you see them going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down" [live connection cut off]... "Yes Angela here, we seem to be having some technical difficulties!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Scientists are baffled as they witnessed a blind man win a speed reading contest!!! Many theories are appearing on the internet, however the blind man who won the contest isn't able to use a computer. Right now people are translating the web page into braille!!! More updates soon...
A small update: Sparky has been adopted and is happy in his new home!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Now an important news update: Airport police arrested a suspected terrorist with explosives in his shoes, turns out it was an olympic athlete on his way to the tournament who wanted to use explosives instead of performance enhancing drugs!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: "Yes Angela here, I'm standing here with Joe Smithianson who won the 500 meter speed run on cruthes and one broken leg", "Joe, tell me how you won the race?" [Joe] "Well I had an excellent condition before the accident and really wanted to win the speed run. The accident happened a week before the race so I had to go for other options. Then this friend of me right sold me some roofies and I put it into their drinking cups. [Angela] "I see, yes when all the other contestants are sleeping you have got an easy victory" [Joe] "Yes Angela, I'm very proud of my gold medal. I'm going to sell it and buy more roofies so I can win more events next year". [Angela] "Thank you Joe and we will see you next year, stay tuned for more updates later on..."?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
23 seconden geleden (bewerkt)
Now in the news: New Olympic Sport gains immense popularity, it's called Bikini Trampoline Jumping. One of the athletes coaches said:"You know, I love this sport, you see them going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down" [live connection cut off]... "Yes Angela here, we seem to be having some technical difficulties!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Scientists are baffled as they witnessed a blind man win a speed reading contest!!! Many theories are appearing on the internet, however the blind man who won the contest isn't able to use a computer. Right now people are translating the web page into braille!!! More updates soon...
A small update: Sparky has been adopted and is happy in his new home!!?
eactie toe…
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: [Angela] "Tragedy has just struck again, a suicidal retarded maniac that believed he was a T800 Terminator has jumped into a pool of molten steel in order to save the earth", the last thing he said cannot be put into words so I cannot repeat them and I'm not allowed to scream on camera" [Top anchor] "Thank you Angela for the update, we will be back with more soon so stay tuned for more updates on the T800 story..."?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 minuut geleden (bewerkt)
Tonight on weird personal issues, a blind man who is affraid of heights is affraid to walk the stairs to his bed so he is sleeping on his couch. In the second segment they will discuss a goldfish who is affraid of water.?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
3 minuten geleden (bewerkt)
Commercial: "Now in stores, Brawndo Extreme, 200% Humor, Twice the fun!!!"
"Later tonight in WTF News a black man turns white and gets called a racist, we now return to our regular news program"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
This just in: Scientists have discovered another unidentified insect. At least that's what they though, turned out to be a dung beetle with constipation. The scientist had the following statement: "Yes Angela, we at first thought we discovered a new insect, but then the tiny critter farted and a tiny black dot came out of it's ass" [Angela] "Thank you, we now go back to the regular news where monkeys have discovered grenades and are wreaking havoc, Angela out!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Scientific News Update: Scientists were baffled today as they discovered a new insect. It looks like a fly, but lives outside and eats out of trash cans. They call it the Homeless Fly, it seems to have intelligence and is searching the internet for an appartment. More news to follow soon...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
News Update: "Yes this is Angela here, tragedy has struck again for Sparky as he drowned in the bathtub!!!"?
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: [Top Anchor] "We heard some disturbing news about flying pigs, what can you tell us?" [Angela] Well, after some investigation it turned out there weren't actually any flying pigs. It was actually a bodybuilding farmer who was fed up with his pigs and started throwing them. He has been thrown into custody and is awaiting trial, more updates on the story later..." [Top Anchor] "Thank you Angela and now to the following story which involves a weird story about barking pigeons..."?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Next on Extreme Fishing, Hunting sharks with M16's?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News Update Special: [Top Anchor] Good night Angela, there seems to be something going on over there, what can you tell me? [Angela] Well, I'm standing here with Whitey White, sir what can you tell us... [Whitey] Well Angela I was going to a job interview and was thinking I'd never get selected. I was walking on the pavement and suddenly a exhoust of a bus almost exploded and my face turned all black. [Angela] Okay Whitey, what happened next? [Whitey] Well Angela, when I entered the office they sent all the other white people away and gave me the job!!! ; )?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Tomorrow on disturbed animals a Squirrel with a fear of trees!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: [Angela] "Tragedy has just struck again, a suicidal retarded maniac that believed he was a T800 Terminator has jumped into a pool of molten steel in order to save the earth", the last thing he said cannot be put into words so I cannot repeat them and I'm not allowed to scream on camera" [Top anchor] "Thank you Angela for the update, we will be back with more soon so stay tuned for more updates on the T800 story..."?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 minuut geleden (bewerkt)
Tonight on weird personal issues, a blind man who is affraid of heights is affraid to walk the stairs to his bed so he is sleeping on his couch. In the second segment they will discuss a goldfish who is affraid of water.?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
3 minuten geleden (bewerkt)
Commercial: "Now in stores, Brawndo Extreme, 200% Humor, Twice the fun!!!"
"Later tonight in WTF News a black man turns white and gets called a racist, we now return to our regular news program"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
This just in: Scientists have discovered another unidentified insect. At least that's what they though, turned out to be a dung beetle with constipation. The scientist had the following statement: "Yes Angela, we at first thought we discovered a new insect, but then the tiny critter farted and a tiny black dot came out of it's ass" [Angela] "Thank you, we now go back to the regular news where monkeys have discovered grenades and are wreaking havoc, Angela out!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Scientific News Update: Scientists were baffled today as they discovered a new insect. It looks like a fly, but lives outside and eats out of trash cans. They call it the Homeless Fly, it seems to have intelligence and is searching the internet for an appartment. More news to follow soon...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
News Update: "Yes this is Angela here, tragedy has struck again for Sparky as he drowned in the bathtub!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: "Yes Angela here, I'm standing here with Joe Smithianson who won the 500 meter speed run on cruthes and one broken leg", "Joe, tell me how you won the race?" [Joe] "Well I had an excellent condition before the accident and really wanted to win the speed run. The accident happened a week before the race so I had to go for other options. Then this friend of me right sold me some roofies and I put it into their drinking cups. [Angela] "I see, yes when all the other contestants are sleeping you have got an easy victory" [Joe] "Yes Angela, I'm very proud of my gold medal. I'm going to sell it and buy more roofies so I can win more events next year". [Angela] "Thank you Joe and we will see you next year, stay tuned for more updates later on..."?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
23 seconden geleden (bewerkt)
Now in the news: New Olympic Sport gains immense popularity, it's called Bikini Trampoline Jumping. One of the athletes coaches said:"You know, I love this sport, you see them going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down" [live connection cut off]... "Yes Angela here, we seem to be having some technical difficulties!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Scientists are baffled as they witnessed a blind man win a speed reading contest!!! Many theories are appearing on the internet, however the blind man who won the contest isn't able to use a computer. Right now people are translating the web page into braille!!! More updates soon...
A small update: Sparky has been adopted and is happy in his new home!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Now an important news update: Airport police arrested a suspected terrorist with explosives in his shoes, turns out it was an olympic athlete on his way to the tournament who wanted to use explosives instead of performance enhancing drugs!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A local politician has been arrested for bribery, he offered more money for more sprinkles on his ice cream cone. We now go live to the local police: "This is officer Ted, yes Angela, we got a phone call from a local ice cream vendor and we immediately jumped into our cars and rushed to the scene. We saw him with an extra fifty cents in his hands begging for more sprinkles and we immediately took action. [Angela]: "Thank you Ted, the local politician is now awaiting trial. He was offered bail, but that would mean he has less money for sprinkles so he declined!!!" ; )?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Update News: More news on the Chihuahua, local authorities have pledged 2 years of dog food for the person who adopts the dog. His name is Sparky and loves to play catch!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 minuut geleden (bewerkt)
Breaking News: A real tragedy has occurred today when a jetliner airplane crashed into the ocean. There were no survivors, except a Chihuahua, rescue helicopters arrived soon after and lifter the poor dog out of the ocean!!! Stay tuned for more updates...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: People have been spotting Jesus, a man in a white robe with a long beard and long hair. After a police investigation it turned out to be an escaped mental patient in his white bath robe!!! Yes, we got a phone call from a few people and then a few more. Some local muslims got scared of the wandering bathrobe man and called us. We went to investigate and well, as you already heard... it was just an escaped mental patient who got lost!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Tragedy occured today when a local farmer needed more horsepower and attached a helicopter engine to his horse, the horse did not survive!!! The local authorities have arrested the farmer and released the following statement: "Nobody called the police when this occurred but we heard a loud bang". More news on this subject later...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Today a Mexican broke the speed record on land, he lost control of his verhicle and it kept speeding up!!! Some SJW had the following to say: "No more lies about lazy Mexicans, he came by so fast I could barely tell what was happening!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A horrible tragedy occured today during the Olympics, it happened during the Olympic Piranha Synchronized Swimming Event. They forgot to feed the Piranha's!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
Breaking: Today during a drag race between two cars who were heading towards a cliff. No one of the two went chicken, the one that survived turned out to have a flying car and was able to avoid a crash into the ocean. A salvage boat is lifting the other car out of the ocean as we speak, we go now live to our correspondant: "Thank you Angela, I'm standing here on the salvage boat and it's quite nice and sunny. Here come's the car out of the ocean now, sadly I have to inform you the other contestant drowned. We go now live to the winner of the drag race who has already entered international waters in order to avoid prosecution. Larry had this to say: "Yeah I'm currently on my way to Columbia, and I have no further comments"?
30 minuten geleden
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
News Update: Today during the Olympic Pole Jumping event an overweight man entered the arena and used a prototype springsteel alloy pole. Due to his heavy weight the pole swung back at an amazing speed and he launched himself into the air, like a homerun beyond the arena and crashed into an apartment window. The occupant had this to say: "Yo like uh, I was watching Ow My Balls and this dude just crashed into my window, like blam crash and such I think. He refrained from further comments and we expect he was offered a huge bribe to not tell who this individual was."?
56 minuten geleden
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Zombie virus outbreak worldwide, a new strain which produces intelligent zombies who scour Ebay for brains instead of attacking humans. More updates will follow...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
This is a message from your local government, the health department. Please do not sell your brains on Ebay, it has serious health implications!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
A local news station interviewed a man who sold half his brain and he had the following statement: "Yeah, uhh, I sold half my brain and now I don't talk so good"?
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News Update: Elon Musk has accepted the NASA challenge and will also participate!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking, important news update: NASA wants to enter the Olympics and is introducing Space Rocket Drag Racing, updates will follow shortly!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Today during a battlechess contest one oponent got mad and bashed his oponents skull in with a mace and yelled "Checkmate", the live video stream was cut off shortly after that and livestream watchers are getting professional help to recover from the trauma!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
News Update: Today a car accidentally hit a train during an illegal train rail race, more details will follow shortly!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
This just in: Ten minutes ago during the Olympic Landmine Jumping Event a contestant accidentally hit a landmine and got blown to pieces. Here's a statement from a spectator: "Yeah this guy uh, whatshisname, misjumped or something and hit a mine, there was blood and guts everywhere. People with blood on their faces, children crying, and the worst part, I got blood on my joint and it was the last one" Stay tuned for more updates!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Today an Olympic Jet Pack Rock Climber plunged to his death, because he forgot to refuel his jetpack. Here's a statement from a spectator: "Ey yo, I saw him, he was going straight up yo, and then hung in the air like Wiley Coyote, looked around him with a confused look and then plunged down"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
46 seconden geleden (bewerkt)
This is a commercial: Enjoy Brawndo Spirits with friends, now with Vodka!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Today a new record was set during the Heavy Weight Feather Lifting Competition!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: The olympic commity has decided to scrap midget bowling since there weren't enough midgets. Apparently someone switched the numbers and it turned into 1 bowling ball and 9 midgets. More news will follow shortly!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A confused Patrick Steward was hauled of by paramedics today, he was standing on the Golden Gate Bridge and kept saying: "This is Picard, please come to the bridge"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A tragedy has occurred today during the olympics. It was during the event that the participant missed the target landing net during the Olympic Catapult Flying event. More details will follow...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Because of the increased popularity of Quake 3 Arena the olympic commity will create a new olympic event which is called Rocket Jump. Protective body armor is advised!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 minuut geleden (bewerkt)
Breaking News: An olympic swimmer died today while participating in the Olympics. It was during the Shark Swimming Event that he could not maintain enough distance!!! Also in the news, many olympic participants plunged to their deaths during the Staircase Marathon Event, someone forgot to put in a third floor!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: New product in development, Brawndo Orange, because your grandmother won't let you have cola!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
4 minuten geleden (bewerkt)
Breaking News: A new product has been launched, Branwdo Vitamins Plus. There's no vitamins in it, but there's sure is laughter!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Now on sale, Electro Lite, 50% less laughs!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
How can I laugh for that long, I drink Brawndo, it's got electrolytes!!!?
17 uur geleden
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A tragedy occured today during the Winter Olympic Proximity Mine Slalom event when a contestant accidentally came too close to one. A spectator had this to say: "Ey yo, I was sitting there right watching the event and eating my hot dog. Suddenly this contestan yo, came too close to the mine and went BANG. Just like Nascar I go to these events to enjoy things like this. I mean I always loved crashing cars, but found my new religion when I discovered this sport!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Here's an important update: Usain Bolt made a new world record and got a gold medal during the Olympic Tiger Triathlon, some other contestants werent so lucky. A spectator had this to say: "Yeah uh, I was sitting there, and this white dude you now, they ain't that fast. He was quick, but the tiger seemed really hungry and got the better of him. The last thing he said was: "Don't let my cheating wife have my money, aaaargh, that hurts"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: During tests for a new Olympic Event called Jello Diving people got stuck at the bottom and had to be rescued!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A local politician has been arrested for bribery, he offered more money for more sprinkles on his ice cream cone. We now go live to the local police: "This is officer Ted, yes Angela, we got a phone call from a local ice cream vendor and we immediately jumped into our cars and rushed to the scene. We saw him with an extra fifty cents in his hands begging for more sprinkles and we immediately took action. [Angela]: "Thank you Ted, the local politician is now awaiting trial. He was offered bail, but that would mean he has less money for sprinkles so he declined!!!" ; )?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Update News: More news on the Chihuahua, local authorities have pledged 2 years of dog food for the person who adopts the dog. His name is Sparky and loves to play catch!!!?
TalonNL999
Breaking News: A real tragedy has occurred today when a jetliner airplane crashed into the ocean. There were no survivors, except a Chihuahua, rescue helicopters arrived soon after and lifter the poor dog out of the ocean!!! Stay tuned for more updates...
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: People have been spotting Jesus, a man in a white robe with a long beard and long hair. After a police investigation it turned out to be an escaped mental patient in his white bath robe!!! Yes, we got a phone call from a few people and then a few more. Some local muslims got scared of the wandering bathrobe man and called us. We went to investigate and well, as you already heard... it was just an escaped mental patient who got lost!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Tragedy occured today when a local farmer needed more horsepower and attached a helicopter engine to his horse, the horse did not survive!!! The local authorities have arrested the farmer and released the following statement: "Nobody called the police when this occurred but we heard a loud bang". More news on this subject later...?
TalonNL999
23 seconden geleden (bewerkt)
Now in the news: New Olympic Sport gains immense popularity, it's called Bikini Trampoline Jumping. One of the athletes coaches said:"You know, I love this sport, you see them going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down" [live connection cut off]... "Yes Angela here, we seem to be having some technical difficulties!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Scientists are baffled as they witnessed a blind man win a speed reading contest!!! Many theories are appearing on the internet, however the blind man who won the contest isn't able to use a computer. Right now people are translating the web page into braille!!! More updates soon...
A small update: Sparky has been adopted and is happy in his new home!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Now an important news update: Airport police arrested a suspected terrorist with explosives in his shoes, turns out it was an olympic athlete on his way to the tournament who wanted to use explosives instead of performance enhancing drugs!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: "Yes Angela here, I'm standing here with Joe Smithianson who won the 500 meter speed run on cruthes and one broken leg", "Joe, tell me how you won the race?" [Joe] "Well I had an excellent condition before the accident and really wanted to win the speed run. The accident happened a week before the race so I had to go for other options. Then this friend of me right sold me some roofies and I put it into their drinking cups. [Angela] "I see, yes when all the other contestants are sleeping you have got an easy victory" [Joe] "Yes Angela, I'm very proud of my gold medal. I'm going to sell it and buy more roofies so I can win more events next year". [Angela] "Thank you Joe and we will see you next year, stay tuned for more updates later on..."?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
23 seconden geleden (bewerkt)
Now in the news: New Olympic Sport gains immense popularity, it's called Bikini Trampoline Jumping. One of the athletes coaches said:"You know, I love this sport, you see them going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down" [live connection cut off]... "Yes Angela here, we seem to be having some technical difficulties!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Scientists are baffled as they witnessed a blind man win a speed reading contest!!! Many theories are appearing on the internet, however the blind man who won the contest isn't able to use a computer. Right now people are translating the web page into braille!!! More updates soon...
A small update: Sparky has been adopted and is happy in his new home!!?
eactie toe…
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: [Angela] "Tragedy has just struck again, a suicidal retarded maniac that believed he was a T800 Terminator has jumped into a pool of molten steel in order to save the earth", the last thing he said cannot be put into words so I cannot repeat them and I'm not allowed to scream on camera" [Top anchor] "Thank you Angela for the update, we will be back with more soon so stay tuned for more updates on the T800 story..."?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 minuut geleden (bewerkt)
Tonight on weird personal issues, a blind man who is affraid of heights is affraid to walk the stairs to his bed so he is sleeping on his couch. In the second segment they will discuss a goldfish who is affraid of water.?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
3 minuten geleden (bewerkt)
Commercial: "Now in stores, Brawndo Extreme, 200% Humor, Twice the fun!!!"
"Later tonight in WTF News a black man turns white and gets called a racist, we now return to our regular news program"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
This just in: Scientists have discovered another unidentified insect. At least that's what they though, turned out to be a dung beetle with constipation. The scientist had the following statement: "Yes Angela, we at first thought we discovered a new insect, but then the tiny critter farted and a tiny black dot came out of it's ass" [Angela] "Thank you, we now go back to the regular news where monkeys have discovered grenades and are wreaking havoc, Angela out!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Scientific News Update: Scientists were baffled today as they discovered a new insect. It looks like a fly, but lives outside and eats out of trash cans. They call it the Homeless Fly, it seems to have intelligence and is searching the internet for an appartment. More news to follow soon...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
News Update: "Yes this is Angela here, tragedy has struck again for Sparky as he drowned in the bathtub!!!"?
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: [Top Anchor] "We heard some disturbing news about flying pigs, what can you tell us?" [Angela] Well, after some investigation it turned out there weren't actually any flying pigs. It was actually a bodybuilding farmer who was fed up with his pigs and started throwing them. He has been thrown into custody and is awaiting trial, more updates on the story later..." [Top Anchor] "Thank you Angela and now to the following story which involves a weird story about barking pigeons..."?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Next on Extreme Fishing, Hunting sharks with M16's?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News Update Special: [Top Anchor] Good night Angela, there seems to be something going on over there, what can you tell me? [Angela] Well, I'm standing here with Whitey White, sir what can you tell us... [Whitey] Well Angela I was going to a job interview and was thinking I'd never get selected. I was walking on the pavement and suddenly a exhoust of a bus almost exploded and my face turned all black. [Angela] Okay Whitey, what happened next? [Whitey] Well Angela, when I entered the office they sent all the other white people away and gave me the job!!! ; )?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Tomorrow on disturbed animals a Squirrel with a fear of trees!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: [Angela] "Tragedy has just struck again, a suicidal retarded maniac that believed he was a T800 Terminator has jumped into a pool of molten steel in order to save the earth", the last thing he said cannot be put into words so I cannot repeat them and I'm not allowed to scream on camera" [Top anchor] "Thank you Angela for the update, we will be back with more soon so stay tuned for more updates on the T800 story..."?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 minuut geleden (bewerkt)
Tonight on weird personal issues, a blind man who is affraid of heights is affraid to walk the stairs to his bed so he is sleeping on his couch. In the second segment they will discuss a goldfish who is affraid of water.?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
3 minuten geleden (bewerkt)
Commercial: "Now in stores, Brawndo Extreme, 200% Humor, Twice the fun!!!"
"Later tonight in WTF News a black man turns white and gets called a racist, we now return to our regular news program"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
This just in: Scientists have discovered another unidentified insect. At least that's what they though, turned out to be a dung beetle with constipation. The scientist had the following statement: "Yes Angela, we at first thought we discovered a new insect, but then the tiny critter farted and a tiny black dot came out of it's ass" [Angela] "Thank you, we now go back to the regular news where monkeys have discovered grenades and are wreaking havoc, Angela out!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Scientific News Update: Scientists were baffled today as they discovered a new insect. It looks like a fly, but lives outside and eats out of trash cans. They call it the Homeless Fly, it seems to have intelligence and is searching the internet for an appartment. More news to follow soon...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
News Update: "Yes this is Angela here, tragedy has struck again for Sparky as he drowned in the bathtub!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: "Yes Angela here, I'm standing here with Joe Smithianson who won the 500 meter speed run on cruthes and one broken leg", "Joe, tell me how you won the race?" [Joe] "Well I had an excellent condition before the accident and really wanted to win the speed run. The accident happened a week before the race so I had to go for other options. Then this friend of me right sold me some roofies and I put it into their drinking cups. [Angela] "I see, yes when all the other contestants are sleeping you have got an easy victory" [Joe] "Yes Angela, I'm very proud of my gold medal. I'm going to sell it and buy more roofies so I can win more events next year". [Angela] "Thank you Joe and we will see you next year, stay tuned for more updates later on..."?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
23 seconden geleden (bewerkt)
Now in the news: New Olympic Sport gains immense popularity, it's called Bikini Trampoline Jumping. One of the athletes coaches said:"You know, I love this sport, you see them going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down" [live connection cut off]... "Yes Angela here, we seem to be having some technical difficulties!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Scientists are baffled as they witnessed a blind man win a speed reading contest!!! Many theories are appearing on the internet, however the blind man who won the contest isn't able to use a computer. Right now people are translating the web page into braille!!! More updates soon...
A small update: Sparky has been adopted and is happy in his new home!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Now an important news update: Airport police arrested a suspected terrorist with explosives in his shoes, turns out it was an olympic athlete on his way to the tournament who wanted to use explosives instead of performance enhancing drugs!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A local politician has been arrested for bribery, he offered more money for more sprinkles on his ice cream cone. We now go live to the local police: "This is officer Ted, yes Angela, we got a phone call from a local ice cream vendor and we immediately jumped into our cars and rushed to the scene. We saw him with an extra fifty cents in his hands begging for more sprinkles and we immediately took action. [Angela]: "Thank you Ted, the local politician is now awaiting trial. He was offered bail, but that would mean he has less money for sprinkles so he declined!!!" ; )?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Update News: More news on the Chihuahua, local authorities have pledged 2 years of dog food for the person who adopts the dog. His name is Sparky and loves to play catch!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 minuut geleden (bewerkt)
Breaking News: A real tragedy has occurred today when a jetliner airplane crashed into the ocean. There were no survivors, except a Chihuahua, rescue helicopters arrived soon after and lifter the poor dog out of the ocean!!! Stay tuned for more updates...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: People have been spotting Jesus, a man in a white robe with a long beard and long hair. After a police investigation it turned out to be an escaped mental patient in his white bath robe!!! Yes, we got a phone call from a few people and then a few more. Some local muslims got scared of the wandering bathrobe man and called us. We went to investigate and well, as you already heard... it was just an escaped mental patient who got lost!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Tragedy occured today when a local farmer needed more horsepower and attached a helicopter engine to his horse, the horse did not survive!!! The local authorities have arrested the farmer and released the following statement: "Nobody called the police when this occurred but we heard a loud bang". More news on this subject later...?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: Today a Mexican broke the speed record on land, he lost control of his verhicle and it kept speeding up!!! Some SJW had the following to say: "No more lies about lazy Mexicans, he came by so fast I could barely tell what was happening!!!"?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
1 seconde geleden
Breaking News: A horrible tragedy occured today during the Olympics, it happened during the Olympic Piranha Synchronized Swimming Event. They forgot to feed the Piranha's!!!?
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
Breaking: Today during a drag race between two cars who were heading towards a cliff. No one of the two went chicken, the one that survived turned out to have a flying car and was able to avoid a crash into the ocean. A salvage boat is lifting the other car out of the ocean as we speak, we go now live to our correspondant: "Thank you Angela, I'm standing here on the salvage boat and it's quite nice and sunny. Here come's the car out of the ocean now, sadly I have to inform you the other contestant drowned. We go now live to the winner of the drag race who has already entered international waters in order to avoid prosecution. Larry had this to say: "Yeah I'm currently on my way to Columbia, and I have no further comments"?
30 minuten geleden
TalonNL999
TalonNL999
News Update: Today during the Olympic Pole Jumping event an overweight man entered the arena and used a prototype springsteel alloy pole. Due to his heavy weight the pole swung back at an amazing speed and he launched himself into the air, like a homerun beyond the arena and crashed into an apartment window. The occupant had this to say: "Yo like uh, I was watching Ow My Balls and this dude just crashed into my window, like blam crash and such I think. He refrained from further comments and we expect he was offered a huge bribe to not tell who this individual was."?
56 minuten geleden
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