[Announcer] Welcome to News Today, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Good afternoon, today Superman has come out of the closet, his statement was: [Superman] Of course I'm gay, who the hell wears red underpants atop of a blue spandex suit, it never was a secret... [Talon] More on this tonight and now we switch to a story about a salmon with an identity crisis that made it think it's a tuna... [Chaniqua] Hmm mm I love me some tuna... [Talon] I do too, wanna go for a bite later? [Chaniqua] With yo white ass, hell no I'm going to KFC...

((Note to self and whom it might concern, huge backlog incoming..., made too many of these already...))

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